[macvoiceover] A sincere public apology

List members:
I need you to hear me out please with what I am saying. Don't just delete this mail, as most likely this is probably what you've been expecting and wanting to hear, for quite some time, so just hear me out please, and let me have it.
The past few weeks have been very stressful for me. Again, hear me out please, don't bird out just from that initial comment and think here we go again. Hear me out please.
My uncle was just diagnosed with cancer, which has really put me in a state of bitterness, plus I am going through a divorce, plus other things which I won't go into. The point is. I have been incorrectly conducting my anger. A lot of it has reflectively come back on all of you all. I've said some very harsh, and very rude things lately both on, and off list, to a lot of list members. I am not gonna reveal names here. That's not important. The fact is: I have mistreated quite a lot of you. And like it or not, I know through reliable means, that a lot of you are quite hurt, and quite upset with me. Let me start by saying, you have every single right to be. Lately I have not been myself. I've cut people down, I've blaintantly cussed people out, I've clamed to be a Christian, yet then I sit here and use GD off list with a member who's name won't be revealed, you know who you are though. Look. I just wanna say how truely sorry I am. I've really been acting like a compulsive, neurotic jerk. I'm not happy at all with how I have been treating a lot of you. I know that my apology may be accepted by some, and by others possibly not. I cannot force you to accept it. I also need you to realize I'm not using the above issues as a cruch of excuse for me to get away with what I've done. I understand fully that my anger is something as well as my bluntness, that I need very severely to work on. I assure all of you that I am going to from this day forward try a lot harder. I don't break promises, and what I say here, about me trying harder is a true solumn committed promise. I am on my honor. I would like each and every one of you to hold me to this. If we all could stand around in a circle I'd take all you all's hands and shake on it with every one of you. That is how serious I am.
I do not swear, as my beliefs of morality will not allow me to do so, however, I give you the strongest promise below a swear that I can. Folks, I really truely am sorry for how I've been acting. None of you all deserved it. Not even the few people who off list've made some comments about me. Yeah, I didn't appreciate 'em, but, you know what, that is no excuse. I chose, in my own actions, to react as I did. only I! can control what I do. Keith cannot control me, Mike cannot control me, David Poeman cannot control me, no one can. It is up to me, and to me alone to decide how, and if, I am gonna react to certain things. I think in light of me being so irritated at some things that on list have happened, plus all the stress I've been under. The better thing I should have probably done, would have been to have waited until I could calm down and relax and most importantly, have thought more rationally and more lovingly, and not had such a mind of haste, and bitterness. So, just as a few of you off list have apologised to me for hurting me, thank you by the way, I guess it's now my turn to say I'm sorry. And, believe you me, I truely am. I haven't been myself lately. I never should have taken this out on any of you all. and, I certainly! should not have posted, no matter how serious it was, about needing someone to talk to from Canada, and made it look like it was life or death. Yeah, it was serious, but not that serious. No wonder so many people get turned away from my friendship. I have got to learn to straighten up my act. And from today on forward that is exactly what I'm gonna do. If I start flying off the handle, I want you all to convict me of it right away, and bring it to my attention. Don't let me get away with it.
I finally say, unless I am starting a new thread, and have a genuine question, I didn't say a comment related to a post, I said, strictly a general question, about a post, or a whole new question altogether, I won't be writing this list, for a while. Again, the only exception to this, is if I truely have something of benefit to say. And I promise you, Keith, and all others: I will! let this list run more freely, and more drama free.
For example: Let's say someone rights and says: in mail, if I hit vo+J from the message table, I hear html content but nothing reads, why is this. I would consider a post that would fall in this exception to be, I may write back and say, o, you need to hit vo A after you hit vo J to jump. This will do a say all, and will then read the content. This isn't necessary if the message wasn't encoded in html though to begin with. 

What I will not! do, is right and say:

um, that is kind a simple.  Duh?  all you do is... what ever.
I will leave all definsive comments out, no matter how mad I am. On or off list. If I absolutely cannot refrane from saying something nasty or rude, then, I'll just refrane the entire post until I can calm down. You have my word. If you all even request it of Keith, I don't wanna put to much trouble on him, but if it is not too much trouble. I'd even be willing to be placed on moderation status for a while where my messages have to be approved first. I have absolutely no objection to that at all. In fact, I almost wonder if that may help matters a bit.
Again. I'm willing to do anything to make this up to you all. I messed up, and I take the complete responsibility of it upon my shoulders. The burden is mine. Please forgive me.
Thank you for reading and I sincerely hope that all you all have an absolutely magnificent day. 

cordially,



Chris Gilland.



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