[lit-ideas] Re: The Consequences of Sarajevo, or Biting the Farm

We recently had a thread about the assassination of Franz Ferdinand (not the pop group). I have found another source on the consequences of this assassination, Anders Henriksson, "Non Campus Mentis," which demonstrates clearly the many perils of history lecture rooms. Here is the First World War as misheard by people in the back row, and then recorded in exam blue books:
World War I broke out around 1912-1914. The deception of countries to have war and those who didn't want one led the countries of Europe and the world to an unthinkable war which became thinkable. Germany was on one side of France and Russia was on the other. The Germans used the "Schleppen Plan" to surprise France by attacking through Bulgaria, which is not far from Paris. General von Falkenhayn, of course, was right: the French would breed themselves to death in order to retake Verdun. Many, however, died ineffectively. Austria fought the Snerbs. The Allies versed the Turks. The British used mostly Aztec troops to fight at Gallipoli. Italy joined the Allies and this was useful because of their common border with Australia. The Easter Indiscretion could be considered an expression of Irish feelings toward the war. Florence of Arabia fought over the dessert. At a certain point the British government began to grow weary of women's role in the war. Military technology progressed with ideas such as guns which would shoot generally straight. At war people get killed, and then they aren't people anymore, but friends. After fighting in the trenches, the soldiers became close, no matter what their social standards. Men on both sides would have gotten to know each other much better if they didn't have to wear uniforms. When peace broke out the men excitedly relieved themselves wherever they were. Many of the war's casualties later came home to drain their familys. More than nine million young men had been led down the garden path to bite the farm. Actually more people died from Spanish Fly than from the war itself. It is hard to believe that all who took part in the war were first cousins, but stranger things have happened. I guess.
Many copies of the book are available from Abebooks, at one dollar plus shipping.
To keep you from feeling too smug, there is an anti-hubris quiz at the end of the book, "So you think you're so smart." Many of the facts demanded, I don't keep in my head. Which, like many tests, proves little. 

I have abandoned tests.

David Ritchie,
Portland, Oregon

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