[lit-ideas] Ready
- From: Eternitytime1@xxxxxxx
- To: lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Thu, 21 Oct 2004 00:47:21 EDT
Hi,
Okay...I sent out a cry of distress far and wide last night. I thank you
all for listening to me, btw. It helps...
I do so like my seemingly mild-mannered profession. If we don't like guns,
we like knives. We break the stereotypes-though none of us really try to do
so. (well, you have all looked at the lipsticklibrarian website, right? <g>)
We're not writers but we like to play with scenarios. She suggested a
motion detecting light...but, until then, for me to try this. I share with
you
what I got from one of my librarian-type friends. I think it is me:
------------------------------------
O.K. You know me so you've probably guessed it. I say get the shotgun!
I can just picture it...you sitting in the dark in a lawn chair in the
shadows of your house. Wearing black, of course, so you blend in. The
shotgun
resting gently in your arms. The Kerry/Edwards sign sitting just a slight
distance away, highlighted by a moonbeam.
A dark, rumbling truck comes down the street with its lights off, sneaking
slowly closer and closer to your house. You see a spotlight flashing across
the neighbor's yards, pausing on the Bush/Cheney sign and then moving on.
Suddenly, it flashes on your Kerry/Edwards sign! The truck pulls up closer to
your home. The doors fly open and figures emerge.
You can't see them very clearly but they seem to be stooped over, long arms
dangling at their sides, knuckles dragging the ground. You think, "Are these
humans or animals?" You here grunting noises, kind of like speaking. But,
it's hard to tell for sure. They slink across your yard, darting quick
glances over their shoulders. They still haven't spotted you. Slowly they
creep
up to your Kerry/Edwards sign and surround it. Then they seem to struggle and
begin to argue with each other. They're actions are just not making sense
to you and you're very puzzled at their attempts to do...something. You
believe that they're trying to pull the sign up out of the ground but they
don't
seem to be able to do that.
You're finally tired of waiting. You leap from your chair, gun at the ready
and holler "FREEZE!" Just as you do this, your front light comes on bathing
these figures, that had looked more like creatures, in light. Your brave
and loyal son turned on the light for you. Light reveals that they are
humans,
though you're a little unsure how far up the evolutionary chain they've
managed to climb. They scramble towards the truck, pushing and shoving each
other. It seems they're about to get away, when suddenly, they run smack into
the sides of the truck and fall back onto the ground dazed. By this time, Ben
has dialed 911 and you can hear the sirens coming down your street. You
realize that the getaway driver is still in the truck and you order him out.
As
he walks around the truck, he gazes down at his companions, shakes his head,
then slaps the palm of his right hand to his forehead and sighs.
(Remember: The smacking of the palm of the right hand to the forehead is a
sign of a Bushite or one of his handlers)
--------------------------
Feeling better about life and librarians,
Marlena in Missouri
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