[lit-ideas] Re: News of the Weird
- From: david ritchie <ritchierd@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Thu, 3 Nov 2005 10:09:40 -0800
At least two people commenting on last week's poem accused me of
being weird. This may be true, but as the poem's subject--DADA--
highlighted, the world is often better at this than ever I could be.
Some examples:
Item: the snake biter
I found this week a copy of Harper's from September 2004. In the
front section is a report titled, "In Cold Blood." It begins, "On 05
23 2004, at approximately 1945 hours, I responded to 3207 Strauss
Street in reference to an animal complaint. Dispatch advised that a
white female, Cynthia Christensen, had just bitten the head off of
complainant Jennie Smith's pet snake." It's a weird start. Then you
learn that the perp is in a wheelchair. And then, my favorite bit,
the excuses. "I then made contact with Cynthia Christensen. At
first she stated she was holding the snake and held it to her moth
and the snake bit her on the lip and she threw it on the ground.
Then the dog that was in the yard came over and bit the snake's head
off. She then changed her story, stating she held the snake to her
mouth and the snake bit her lip and was holding on to her lip, and
this is why she stated she was going to bite the snake's head off.
She then pulled the snake from her lip, throwing it to the ground,
and the dog bit the snake's head off. Finally, she stated she was
holding the snake to her mouth and the snake bit her a little, so she
bit it back."
Item: a Honda commercial
http://multimedia.honda-eu.com/newcars/300k_player.swf
Item: an instructional day spent sitting in a gym doing absolutely
nothing, a John Cage experience, without the silence.
http://www.mariettatimes.com/news/story/new21_112200582458.asp
Item: concrete nutritional information and compelling, tangible visions
From two documents:
*BFA student, Mike Costello works from concrete nutritional information
in order to create abstract sculptural representations of specific
foods
*Has the President articulated a compelling, tangible and shared
vision for the College?
Not Satisfactory
Meets Expectation
Exemplary Job
Don't Know
Item Scots Deny Stitch Up
http://news.scotsman.com/index.cfm?id=2185972005
McLetchie resigns, Murdo Fraser steps aside, allows Miss Anabel
Goldie to take the chair. She denies there has been a stitch up.
I'm sure that both of Scotland's Conservative voters will be
thrilled. Did I mention that I'd been listening to Alexander McCall
Smith's, "44 Scotland Street"? He's funny on the subject of the
South Edinburgh Conservative Party ball, an affair to which only six
people come. Large ballroom in posh hotel, six people eating,
arranged at two separate tables, a four and a two. They award
themselves all the tombola prizes, but the hostess can't restrain
herself and so fiddles the draw, stitches it up, so that she wins the
dinner with an aristocrat.
David Ritchie
Portland, Oregon
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