[lit-ideas] Re: Institial Remark No.4

  • From: Eric Yost <mr.eric.yost@xxxxxxxxx>
  • To: lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • Date: Tue, 22 Jul 2008 16:35:41 -0400

>>Or a book listing persons to be killed or tortured?

That would be more like a list. As in _The Mikado_:


As some day it may happen that a victim must be found,
     I've got a little list--I've got a little list
Of society offenders who might well be underground,
     And who never would be missed--who never would be missed!
There's the pestilential nuisances who write for autographs--
All people who have flabby hands and irritating laughs--
All children who are up in dates, and floor you with 'em flat--
All persons who in shaking hands, shake hands with you like _that_--
And all third persons who on spoiling tete-a-tetes insist--
     They'd none of 'em be missed--they'd none of 'em be missed!

CHORUS.   He's got 'em on the list--he's got 'em on the list;
               And they'll none of 'em be missed--they'll none of
                    'em be missed.

There's the banjo serenader, and the others of his race,
     And the piano-organist--I've got him on the list!
And the people who eat peppermint and puff it in your face,
     They never would be missed--they never would be missed!
Then the idiot who praises, with enthusiastic tone,
All centuries but this, and every country but his own;
And the lady from the provinces, who dresses like a guy,
And who "doesn't think she waltzes, but would rather like to
     try";
And that singular anomaly, the lady novelist--
     I don't think she'd be missed--I'm sure she'd not he missed!

CHORUS.   He's got her on the list--he's got her on the list;
               And I don't think she'll be missed--I'm sure
                    she'll not be missed!

And that Nisi Prius nuisance, who just now is rather rife,
     The Judicial humorist--I've got him on the list!
All funny fellows, comic men, and clowns of private life--
     They'd none of 'em be missed--they'd none of 'em be missed.
And apologetic statesmen of a compromising kind,
Such as--What d'ye call him--Thing'em-bob, and
     likewise--Never-mind,
And 'St--'st--'st--and What's-his-name, and also You-know-who--
The task of filling up the blanks I'd rather leave to you.
But it really doesn't matter whom you put upon the list,
     For they'd none of 'em be missed--they'd none of 'em be
          missed!

CHORUS.   You may put 'em on the list--you may put 'em on the list;
               And they'll none of 'em be missed--they'll none of
                    'em be missed!

                -- W. S. Gilbert
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