[lit-ideas] Call me a coward
- From: Eternitytime1@xxxxxxx
- To: lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Sat, 9 Oct 2004 01:49:58 EDT
Hi,
Okay. I won't call Canada a third world country (even if our president
basically said so) if you will be gracious (more than I am to myself) and not
call me a coward.
Here I was...after the debate...reading emails and even responded to one!
(you read it--you saw it, right??) THEN. The phone rang.
Now, bless you (I mean that in every Universal way I can, btw), you have
humoured me while I freaked out over my family's freaking out because I simply
asked that they provide documentation for what they said. (which, btw, none of
them ever did. <sad sigh> [I mean, you would have THOUGHT that they would
have understood the importance after having had me in their lives all this
time..I must be an awful example...<sigh>)
So. I admit it. I DID send not one, but TWO groveling sorts of emails to
the whole bunch of them about three weeks ago. NOT groveling in terms of what
I said/wrote (I cannot compromise Truth that way <sigh> though goodness
knows I'd like to pull a Bush and do that...) but in terms of saying that I
was
sorry that I had gotten them all upset. (can you tell that I'm still a bit
cross with myself for having done that? Those in my regular life were--and
they don't even necessarily agree with my point of view--but they have that
'fairness' piece in them...and I stinking <g> made them read every single
piece
of email I had gotten...)
Anyway. My mother FINALLy called me this week. (thanks, only, to the 95
year old aging activist that we both know and adore. I have NO idea what she
said to my mother, but I DO know she said something because of what mother
said.) Anyway, I at least had a mother again. (I still probably don't have a
father <g> except that it is okay because he is kind of the old gruff type,
anyway...and not sure how much is still left...) Then, one of the other
siblings called earlier this week--freaked me out and I almost didn't answer.
It
was a 'nice' call--we danced around anything of importance (except kids) and,
basically, I was told that 'they missed my emails'. (I had stopped emailing
ANYTHING to ANYONE...and remember--I'm the 'happy soul who keeps them all in
tune and on key...)
Almost as soon as I finished sympathizing with Erin about the catastrophe of
her cell phone, the phone rang. (and, as one whose cell phone has also gotten
wet and damaged, do NOT tell me it is not a catastrophe. Or the people at
Verizon. THEY know what a catastrophe it was <g>)
It was one of the NSA siblings. Talk about worried. And, yes...I was told
"Well, I decided to call you, but thought I would wait until the debate was
over. Did you watch it?" "Yes," I slowly and carefully stated.
Ended up we talked about 'stylistic' aspects, etc. as I really didn't want
to go into anything else. It just is not worth it.
But, the one statement which does stand out was this one: "I knew where
they both stood on defense, but not on anything else."
And, I DO know that the whole belief in "science" is critical to that
tribe--esp the whole stem cell research issue (we're talking about Grave's
disease
for a 18 year old which was recently diagnosed and which has created some
problems not to mention the diabetes which was a child-onset situation...)
But, I did not want to go there. I avoided it and we talked about holidays
and who was going to be with who and etc.
Just call me a coward. It was just too weird and even though I understand
my role in all of their lives, I really do not like it very much. So, even
though I know (because I know the whole bunch of them...) that I was supposed
to pick up on several of the tidbits tossed out to me, I refused to even go
there.
It did surprise me, though...esp that their whole family would watch it.
(son home from college visiting girlfriend, too...all of them...probably a bit
different from how Sparky and I watched it <g>. I ended up NOT going to my
friends who invited me to watch it with them...it was really nice to actually
be HOME for a change...)
Really, in a way, that makes me feel that even though I was told that (in
their opinion) "Bush won and it was a far more interesting debate because they
were so better matched and the format was so much better"--John Kerry's
presentation made a whole group of people think.
Life is so much more than we think...(I'll get there someday in terms of
explaining it <g>...and no, not in a 'totally' New Age-y sort of way--my
theory
which I have been [slowly and very very gradually] working on is that what
has been said through the ages by Wise Ones are the same things said by the
New
Age-y types--but in a more 'modern or simply' way of speaking/writing and I
am wanting to show the correlations and all. (probably someone already has
<sigh>))
But, I chose the coward's direction this time. Don't know if that is 'good'
or 'bad' but it definitely simply 'is'.
Hoping all are well,
Marlena in Missouri
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