[infoshare] Fwd: Priceless (Not A Mastercard Commercial!)
- From: Ellen Rubin <ellenr5@xxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: infoshare@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Thu, 18 Jun 2009 16:59:59 -0700
I just had to share this with my infoshare techy friends! I am still
LOL!
Ellen
- Customer: "I've been calling
700-1000 for two days and can't ;get through; can you
help?"
- Operator: "Where did you get that
number, sir?"
- Customer: "It's on the door of
your business."
- Operator: "Sir, those are the
hours that we are open."
-
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
- Samsung Electronics
- Caller:
"Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"
- Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't
understand who you are talking about."
- Caller:
"On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly
states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall
socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give
me the number for Jack?"
- Operator: "I think it means
the telephone plug on the wall."
-
----------------------------------------------------------------------
- RAC Motoring Services
- Caller:
"Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am
traveling in Australia ?"
- Operator: "Does the product name
give you a clue?"
-
----------------------------------------------------------------------
- Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while traveling in
Europe )
- "If I register my car in France , and then take it to
England , do I have to change the steering wheel to the
other side of the car?"
-
----------------------------------------------------------------------
- Directory Enquiries
- Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argo Fish
Bar, please"
- Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Are you sure
that the spelling is correct?"
- Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but
the 'B' fell off."
-
----------------------------------------------------------------------
- Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company
in Woven.
- Operator: "Woven? Are
you sure?"
-
Caller:
"Yes. That's what it says on the label -- Woven in
Scotland ."
- ----
------------------------------------------------------------------
- On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from
a phone box told a worried operator: "I haven't got a
pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number
on."
-
----------------------------------------------------------------------
- Tech Support: "I need you to
right-click on the Open Desktop."
-
Customer:
"OK."
- Tech Support: "Did you get a
pop-up menu?"
-
Customer:
"No."
- Tech Support: "OK.
Right-Click again. Do you se e a pop-up menu?"
-
Customer:
"No."
- Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can
you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
-
Customer:
"Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."
-
----------------------------------------------------------------------
- Tech
Support: "OK.
At the bottom left hand side of your screen, can you see the 'OK'
button displayed?"
-
Customer:
"Wow! How can you see my screen from there?"
-
----------------------------------------------------------------------
- Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I
just realized that I need it. So, if I turn my system clock back two
weeks will I get my file back again?"
-
----------------------------------------------------------------------
- This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I
think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This
is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which
was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care
department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired;
however, he/she is currently suing the
- WordPerfect organization for "Termination without
Cause."
- Actual dialogue of a f ormer WordPerfect Customer Support
employee.
- (Now I know why they record these
conversations!):
- Operator:
"Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
-
Caller:
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
- Operator:
"What sort of trouble??"
-
Caller:
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words
went away."
- Operator:
"Went away?"
-
Caller:
"They disappeared."
- Operator:
"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
-
0ACaller:
"Nothing."
- Operator:
"Nothing??"
-
Caller:
"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
- Operator:
"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
-
Caller:
"How do I tell?"
- Operator: "Can
you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen??"
-
Caller:
&
nbsp; "What's a sea-prompt?"
- Operator:
"Never mind, can you move your cursor around the
screen?"
-
Caller:
"There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything
I type."
- Operator:
"Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
-
Caller:
"What's a monitor?"
- Operator:
"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
Does it have a little light that tells you when it's
on??"
-
Caller:
"I don't know."
- Operator:
"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power
cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
-
Caller:
"Yes, I think so."
- Operator:
"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's
plugged into the wall.
-
Caller:
"Yes, it is."
- Operator:
"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there
were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just
one??"
-
Caller:
"No."
- Operator:
"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find
the other cable."
-
Caller:
"Okay, here it is."
- Operator:
"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the
back of your computer."
-
Caller:
"I can't reach."
- Operator:
"OK. Well, can you see if it is??"
-
Caller:
"No."
- Operator:
"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way
over??"
-
Caller:
"Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's
because it's dark."
- Operator:
"Dark??"
-
Caller:
"Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming
in from the window."
-
Operator:
"Well, turn on the office light then."
-
Caller:
"I can't."
-
Operator:20
"No? Why not??"
-
Caller:
"Because there's a power failure."
- Operator:
"A power .... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it
licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing
stuff that your computer came in??"
-
Caller:
"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
- Operator:
"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just
like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you
bought it from."
-
Caller:
"Really? Is it that bad?"
-
Operator:
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
-
Caller:20
"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell
them??"
-
Operator:
"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!!!"
-----Original Message-----
From: RAFDOC@xxxxxxx
To: Calshirley@xxxxxxx; lnrosen@xxxxxxxxxxx
Sent: Tue, Jun 16, 2009 9:27 pm
Subject: Fwd: (no subject)
Another one too good to keep to myself, especially the last
one!
Renée
An Excellent Credit Score is 750.
See Yours in Just 2 Easy Steps!
Attached Message
From: IMCPA@xxxxxxx
To: COOLNANNA1@xxxxxxx; bspitz1@xxxxxxxxxxx; joseph.chase99@xxxxxxxxxxx;
1ajdavis@xxxxxxxxx; PTGrad2001@xxxxxxx; philsjokes@xxxxxxx;
RAFDOC@xxxxxxx; DADFLEISCH@xxxxxxx; lkrawcheck@xxxxxxxxx;
BurntNJane@xxxxxxx; fayembubbe@xxxxxxx; MNNDEF@xxxxxxxxxxx;
n.morrissette@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx; slrose702@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx;
luckycharlie77@xxxxxxxxx; tscaffe@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx;
grnmadarln@xxxxxxxxx
Subject: Re: (no subject)
Date: Tue, 16 Jun 2009 8:31:30 PM Eastern Daylight Time
Subject: FW: THIS IS PRICELESS, ESPECIALLY THE LAST
ONE!
Customer: "I've been calling
700-1000 for two days and can't get through; can you
help?"
Operator: "Where did you get that
number, sir?"
Customer: "It's on the door of your
business."
Operator: "Sir, those are the hours
that we are open."
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Samsung Electronics
Caller:
"Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"
Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't
understand who you are talking about."
Caller:
"On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly
states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall
socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give
me the number for Jack?"
Operator: "I think it means the
telephone plug on the wall."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
RAC Motoring Services
Caller:
"Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am
traveling in Australia ?"
Operator: "Does the product name give
you a clue?"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while traveling in
Europe )
"If I register my car in France , and then take it to England
, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other
side of the car?"
--------
--------------------------------------------------------------
Directory Enquiries
Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argo Fish Bar,
please"
Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Are you sure that
the spelling is correct?"
Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the
'B' fell off."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in
Woven.
Operator: "Woven? Are
you sure?"
Caller:
"Yes. That's what it says on the label -- Woven in
Scotland ."
----
------------------------------------------------------------------
On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from
a phone box told a worried operator: "I haven't got a
pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number
on."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support: "I need you to
right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer:
"OK."
Tech Support: "Did you get a
pop-up menu?"
Customer:
"No."
Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click
again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer:
&
nbsp; "No."
Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you
tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer:
"Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support:
"OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen, can you see
the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer:
"Wow! How can you see my screen from there?"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I
just realized that I need it. So, if I turn my system clock back two
weeks will I get my file back again?"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think
this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is
a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed
from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless
to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she
is currently suing the
WordPerfect organization for "Termination without
Cause."
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support
employee.
(Now I know why they20record these conversations!):
Operator:
"Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
Caller:
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
Operator:
"What sort of trouble??"
Caller:
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words
went away."
Operator:
"Went away?"
Caller:
"They disappeared."
Operator:
"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
0ACaller:
"Nothing."
Operator:
"Nothing??"
Caller:
"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
Operator: "Are
you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
Caller:
"How do I tell?"
Operator: "Can you
see the 'C: prompt' on the screen??"
Caller:
"What's a sea-prompt?"
Operator: ;
"Never mind, can you move your cursor around the
screen?"
Caller:
"There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything
I type."
Operator:
"Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
Caller:
"What's a monitor?"
Operator:
"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
Does it have a little light that tells you when it's
on??"
Caller:
"I don't know."
Operator:
"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power
cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
Caller:
"Yes, I think so."
Operator: "Great.
Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into
the wall.
Caller:
"Yes, it is."
Operator:
"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there
were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just
one??"
Caller:
"No."
Operato r:
"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find
the other cable."
Caller:
"Okay, here it is."
Operator:
"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the
back of your computer."
Caller:
"I can't reach."
Operator:
"OK. Well, can you see if it is??"
Caller:
"No."
Operator:
"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way
over??"
Caller:
"Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's
because it's dark."
Operator:
"Dark??"
Caller:
"Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming
in from the window."
Operator:
"Well, turn on the office light then."
Caller:
"I can't."
Operator:
"No? Why not??"
Caller:=2
0
"Because there's a power failure."
Operator:
"A power .... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it
licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing
stuff that your computer came in??"
Caller:
"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
Operator:
"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just
like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you
bought it from."
Caller:
"Really? Is it that bad?"
Operator:
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
Caller:20
"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell
them??"
Operator:
"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!!!"
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- » [infoshare] Fwd: Priceless (Not A Mastercard Commercial!) - Ellen Rubin
