[HFbeacons] FW: [10Mprop] Funny Read from Dec.1970 73 Mag.
- From: Jay Jensen <ve3sws@xxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: <hfbeacons@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Mon, 31 Oct 2011 21:11:17 +0000
Sorry - This other story was supposed to go to both groups. Anyway - funny
stuff and here it is...
> If you liked that one Chris, you’re sure to get a charge out of this one by
> W5VSR in 1978. I think it is one of my favourite stories! :
>
> 73
> Jay –VE3SWS
>
> SO YOU WANT TO BE A LID!
>
> Lid...a term used in amateur radio to denote a poor operator; one who is
> inept at the practice of the art.
>
> A monumental problem facing amateur radio today is the alarming amount of
> poor operators filling the air waves. It is the opinion of many that one of
> the reasons for this is the fact that many of the new operators really have
> not been advised about proper operating procedures. Too many of the "amateur
> radio classes" produced today spend very little, if any, time correcting
> operating procedures. Their major thrust is to teach the code, cram the
> theory, and fill out a 610 form!
>
> It is easy to be a lid, it must be, there are so many of them. If you are
> already a lid, read on. you may find some new "lid-isms." If you are not yet
> a full-fledged lid, you may learn some new material for your next
> transmissions.
>
> Probably the most popular is "QRZ the frequency." Nobody can be quite sure
> what the exact meaning of this is. The ARRL Handbook lists QRZ as a CW
> "shorthand" signal meaning "Who is calling me?" On phone it may mean
> something else, although I can't imagine a frequency calling someone! I even
> heard a W5 utter "QRZ the channel!" Now this guy is a chief lid. The
> frequency was silent for a while (Probably as most good operators were in a
> state of shock) and then a signal from afar responded, "This is the channel
> and I wasn't calling you!"
>
> I think "QRZ the channel" and "QRZ the frequency" are real winners. Use them
> a lot. You'll chase the good, experienced hams out of their gourds.
>
> Actually, the use of "Q" signals on phone is in itself a true "lid-ism." The
> "Q" signals were devised by high speed CW operators as a form of "shorthand"
> in order to speed up their transmissions. What use they have on phone is
> questionable, as in many cases you can say the actual meaning just as fast.
> In many cases they cause more confusion than if you would have said the
> actual meaning. Then you get the real lid who comes off with "QRM-Mary or
> QRN-Nancy?" Good heavens, why didn't he just say he had interference?
>
> Now, you must be ready with this one at a moment's notice: "HI." Never, ever,
> laugh if you find something funny. Say "HI" or even better "HI-HI." It
> doesn't really take the place of laughter, but it tells the other operators
> that you know how to laugh on CW.
>
> Another one. Always give your callsign phonetically when operating on phone,
> especially when conditions are good and signals are clear. It's another small
> way to take up valuable air time without really adding any intelligence to a
> conversation. To cut a fine line, it is not legal to identify your station by
> saying "Whiskey Five Victor Sierra Romeo." If your call is issued W5VSR, the
> identification is "This is W5VSR." If copy is difficult and for
> clarification, then, "This is W5VSR. Whiskey Five Victor Sierra Romeo." So
> continue your lid-ism and show how clever you can be with ridiculous
> phonetics. A good friend of mine is W5BS; he has a lot of self-restraint!!
>
> Are you interested in DX? Put these on your DX lid list, "CQ Dog X-Ray." jazz
> it up a little by saying, impressively "CQ Dog X-Ray, beaming Asia." Not only
> does that improve your antenna's directionality, but it lets everyone hearing
> you think you have a beam, whether you do or not.
>
> The number one, all time lid award of the century goes to those great DX
> operators who listen down on one frequency in the foreign part of the band
> and transmit up in the American phone band without ever listening on the
> transmitting frequency to see if it was clear. Of course, you must use two
> processors, in tandem, mike gain wide open, and drive your three 8877 final
> tubes with an SB-220 while bellering forth, "CQ Dog X-Ray" for five
> continuous minutes, before listening. This is the way to attract lots of
> attention. Lots of it!
>
> Next on the list is the subject of "Break." I do believe that we inherited
> that one from the CBers. Just find a comfortable roundtable in progress, and
> say "Break" or better "Break-Break" or best "Breaker-Breaker." Don't give any
> calls; neither the station you hear nor your own. Don't listeh for a few
> minutes first to find out if you can hear all of the stations in the
> roundtable. Just break in and disrupt everything. If that doesn't work, start
> tuning up your rig on that frequency. After all, aren't the frequencies there
> for all to enjoy?
>
> Here are some quickies: Say "Go" or "Come back" or "C'mon, Good Buddy,"
> instead of "Over" if you think you must say anything at all to let the other
> operator know you are ready to listen to him. Don't forget the all time
> Broderick Crawford "10-4" or better "That's a big 10-4."
>
> It is a shame the F.C.C. no longer requires us to indicate portable
> operation. They have taken away another opportunity for the lid-ism---"This
> is Whiskey Five Very Strong Radio, Port Five." I just typed this on my port
> typewriter!
>
> RESULTS GUARANTEED!!
> Did you ever hear a phone operator who sounds like he's operating from a
> dungeon? Maybe he is, but even without a dungeon you can get the same effect
> by turning up your mike gain and holding your Golden Eagle D-104 at least one
> foot, better at two, from your face. Never close talk a mike. Disc Jockeys
> never do and they are "cool." When you are on the air, you are "cool" too, so
> you do the same. Communications microphones are designed to be close talked.
> Keep that mike gain at a minimum level. That way you won't be transmitting
> the voices of your wife and kids screaming five rooms away. Of course, to be
> a super lid in the audio department, do use a "power mike" driving a
> processor. Everybody knows that the engineers who designed your transmitter
> purposely made it short on mike gain.
>
> Lastly, when giving your name, refer to it as your "Handle." It's folksy. And
> be sure to say, "The handle here is Beaver." That's liddier than just plain,
> "My name is Beaver." It also helps to punctuate your remarks with "By golly"
> whenever possible and remember whenever in a large roundtable, especially on
> a VHF repeater, give each and every call sign in the group complete with
> phonetics when IDing. Also don't forget to add "For ID" after your callsign.
>
> There are many other ways to be a lid, but I feel confident that if more
> operators were to take a look at this disaster from the lighter side, perhaps
> we'll all see just how ridiculous most of the phone operation on the ham
> bands is today. Phone conversation should really not take on a much different
> atmosphere from talking to your friends on the telephone. Do you say "Over"
> or "Break" or the worst "Come back" when you are on the telephone? Well then,
> why do so many do it on the amateur bands? All of that is ever so redundant
> on a repeater system where most have "End-of-transmission" beep tones; and of
> course, there is usually a squelch burst ahead of that, so you actually ended
> up with a fellow ending his sentence with "Come back".... followed by a
> squelch burst followed by the repeater's beep and in many cases the repeater
> carrier dropping. You have just four indications that it's your turn! QSL?
>
> Let's all pay more attention to this problem and see if we can help "Clean
> up" our operations and put amateur radio operations back up to the more
> professional nature that it enjoyed before many poor habits of the CB band
> crept up on us.
>
> This article appeared in the September, 1978, Ham Radio Horizons, entitled
> "So You Want To Be a Lid!," by A.J. "Buddy" Massa, W5VSR.
>
>
> From: 10mprop@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx [mailto:10mprop@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of
> Chris - KC0TKS
> Sent: October 31, 2011 3:13 PM
> To: 10mprop@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
> Subject: Re: [10Mprop] Funny Read from Dec.1970 73 Mag.
>
> Great story, Jay!
>
> I have met a few hams along the way that this story pinpoints. Some recently!
>
>
>
> Chris - KC0TKS
>
> On 10/31/2011 11:06 AM, Jay Jensen wrote:
>
> HAMSarea
> FuNnYBuNcH
> of PEoPle!
> Al Brogdon, K3KMO
> RFD 1 Box 390A
> State College PA 16801
>
> December 1970 - 73 Magazine
>
> Hams are a funny bunch of people.
>
> They will work for days with their
> beam antenna orientation to make sure it is
> pointed to within one-half degree of the
> indicated direction - never considering the
> fact that the beamwidth of t he antenna is
> 40 degrees.
>
> They will overload their transmitters by
> factors of 50% or more, and milk that last
> watt out of it - when it takes a power
> increase of four times to make one S-unit
> difference .
>
> They will stay out of a ham club and
> complain until the cows come home about
> how poorly it is run . But they never want
> to join and work to straighten out the
> club's problems.
>
> They will spend five hours and more a
> day building and installing ham equipment,
> telling the wife all the while that they just
> don't have time to put a new line cord on
> her iron .
>
> Some of them will crank their final
> amplifiers up a little and run 3 kW PEP,
> never thinking about the fact that they
> would have to run more than 5 kW to
> make a significant difference in signal
> strength above 2 kW PEP. A few of these
> hams have time to think this over during
> their license suspension period .
>
> They will spend hours every day talking
> with people all over the world, but never
> say hello to their next door neighbor.
>
> They will tell their wives they can't
> afford a new chair for the living room
> while they are writing out the order for a
> new $700 mobile installation .
>
> They will buy surplus equipment to save
> money , and then spend an amount of
> money on it's conversion that would have
> bought good commercial gear that would
> have done the same job better.
>
> They will set up stations with which
> they could communicate their ideas, but
> they will give a signal report , a brief
> weather report , a description of their
> station, and run out of things to talk
> about.
>
> They will spend an entire 48-hour
> contest period at the rig, leaving it only to
> catch short naps and take care of necessary
> bodily functions, but during the week they
> can' t spare 10 minutes of their time to play
> with their kids.
>
> They will buy complex and expensive
> electronic keyers so the extra dots and
> dashes their sloppy keying causes will be
> well-formed and correctly spaced.
>
> They use Q signals on voice , and then
> have to use phonetics to get the letters
> across, since voice is better suited for
> communicating words than for transmitting
> individual letters.
>
> They will apply for every ham award
> they can qualify fo r to document their
> accomplishments, when many of the certificates
> are for a level of accomplishment
> roughly equivalent to being able to cross
> the street without getting run over.
>
> They will load half a ton of amateur
> gear and antennas into the car and take off
> for Field Day, but then have to suspend
> operation halfway through the contest
> be cause the didn't bring a spare fuse .
>
> They will take great pride in being a
> ham radio operator, and tell all their
> nonham friends of the many accomplishments
> of ham operators, and of the
> advances in the state of the art brought
> about by hams, when they themselves
> haven' t been on the air in three years.
> But one of the funniest things of all
> about hams is the typically human shortsightedness
> of most hams . They see all the
> faults of their fellow hams, and they are
> quick to criticize, but they are not aware
> of their own shortcomings. Aren't you glad
> that you and I aren't that way?
>
>
>
> . .. K3KMO •
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