[haiku] Re: Res: New Haiku flier - Draft 1 for review
- From: Ryan Leavengood <leavengood@xxxxxxxxx>
- To: haiku@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Sat, 30 Jan 2010 17:20:43 -0500
On Fri, Jan 29, 2010 at 10:22 PM, Jorge G. Mare <koki@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
> Howdy,
>
> Draft 2 of new flier now available for review:
>
> http://haikuzone.net/files/temp/2009-02-29_haiku-flyer_2010_letter_draft-2.png
As everyone has commented, the flier looks great, so good job on the update.
> Please review draft 2 and see if you find any problems and/or stuff that you
> would like to see changed/removed/added. Now, a couple of observations...
I think "Focus on personal computing" might sound better as "Focused
on personal computing". I think the first version is grammatically
correct (focus as a noun), I think the past tense verb focused is
better, as it matches some of the other points.
Another little niggle is that you no longer need to provide
attribution to the "Elephant Dreams" movie in the small print since
Stippi's screenshot does not use it. We may or may not need to provide
attribution for the video shown in the new screenshot though, maybe
Stippi could advise. I also think the screenshot shown in perspective
like in the first draft looks better.
--
Regards,
Ryan
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