[guide.chat] { received with many thanks to Judith A.}: FWD: Sipping Vodka!
- From: Keith Wines <muckyduck2@xxxxxxxxx>
- To: "guide chat" <guide.chat@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Mon, 5 Sep 2011 17:56:02 +0100
: FWD: Sipping Vodka
SIPPING VODKA
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.
After mass he asked the monsignors how he had done.
The monsignor replied,"When I am worried about getting nervouson the
pulpit,I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass.
If I start to get nervous, I take a sip"
So next Sunday he took the monsignors advice. At the beginning of the
sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm.
Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following note on
the door:
1. sip the vodka, dont gulp.
2. There are 10 commandments,not 12
3. There are12 disciples not 10.
4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5. Jacob wagerd his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7. The Father Son and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy,Junior
and the Spook.
8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.
9. When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, dont
say he was stoned off his ass.
10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T".
11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and
eat it for it is my body."He did not say "Eat me".
12. The Virgin Mary is not called "mary with the Cherry,"
13. The recommended grace before a meal is not :Rub-A-Dub thanks for
the grub, yeah God.
14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peters. not
a peter pulling contest at St. Taffys.
The origination of this letter is unknown.
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