[guide.chat]
- From: "Harold Kitching" <harold.kitching01@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: "Pam Camidge" <pam.camidge@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>, "Forum chats guade forum" <guide.chat@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>, "Charlotte K" <ck_19@xxxxxxxx>
- Date: Mon, 2 Jan 2012 16:34:06 -0000
Read to the end . . . a new twist
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce .
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse
more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in
the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he
thought it was time to present the present .
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass
drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how
to row .
13) They were too close to the door to close
it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does
are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a
sewer line..
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught
his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed
a tear.
19) I had to subject the subject to a series of
tests.
20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate
friend?
Let's face it - English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in
pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in
France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are
meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find
that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is
neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers
don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth
is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one
moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make
amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of
all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers
praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for
the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a
recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet
that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the
same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the
unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down,
in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off
by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers,
and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a
race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when
the lights are out, they are invisible.
PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick' ?
You lovers of the English language might enjoy
this .
There is a two-letter word that perhaps has
more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is 'UP.'
It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the
sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we
wake UP ?
At a meeting, why does a topic come UP ?
Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP
for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report ?
We call UP our friends.
And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP
the silver; we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen.
We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the
old car.
At other times the little word has real special
meaning.
People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets,
work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.
To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed
UP is special.
A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped
UP.
We open UP a store in the morning but we close
it UP at night.
We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP !
To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of
UP, look the word UP in the dictionary.
In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost
1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions.
If you are UP to it, you might try building UP
a list of the many ways UP is used.
It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you
don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.
When it threatens to rain, we say it is
clouding UP .
When the sun comes out we say it is clearing
UP...
When it rains, it wets the earth and often
messes things UP.
When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP.
One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP,
for now my time is UP, so........it is time to shut UP!
Now it's UP to you what you do with this email.
You will
Other related posts:
