[guide.chat] how to successfully participate in an email group.

From: "Si Watson" <mrsvilla@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
To: "guide chat" <guide.chat@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Date: Sat, 9 Jul 2011 20:05:28 +0100
 how to successfully participate in an email group.
Joining and then participating to an Internet mailing list can be a
daunting task, but it does not need to be. Firstly, your introduction.
My favourite approach, upon joining a group, is this one:

Greetings, wonderful people,

I joined this group a few days ago and, after reading your posts, I
came to the conclusion that you are the wittiest, most knowledgeable
group of people I have ever come across. I look forward to reading more
from all of you and make my humble contribution.

However, this is what I actually mean:

Yo, morons,

I joined this group a few days ago and, after reading your posts, I
came to the conclusion that you are the most witless, clueless, yet
inexplicably opinionated, group of people I have ever come across. I
shall pretend to pay attention to your pathetic messages all the while
imparting my wit and wisdom to all of you retards.

However, introduction notwithstanding, here are a few hints & tips for
how to effectively participate to a group (not in any order):

* Important rule: Participation to a mailing list is all about the
number of messages, not about quality or content.

* Reply to all messages, quoting them in their entirety (only feckless
wimps snip and trim posts), just to add a participative "Me too!" of "I
like it!" or just a simple LOL. Polite disagreements like, "It sucks!"
are also perfectly acceptable.

* Forward anything that comes into your inbox, preferably hoaxes, Urban
Legends, and pseudo-inspirational stories.

* Post chain letters regularly.

* Post requests to sign petition, but only if they are about issues
nobody heard of.

* Forward old jokes, totally oblivious to the fact that 1) on the
Internet, everybody has already seen them, 2) they are not germane to
the list you have just joined, and they may be indeed offensive to the
listmembers.

* POST IN ALL CAPS. PEOPLE LOVE TO RECEIVE LENGTHY MESSAGES IN ALL CAPS
BECAUSE THEY ARE EASIER TO READ.

* Ingore gremmar sintax puntuaction adn spelink and peeple will
admiring you imenseli.

* Always abbreviate. Why type "for you" when you can type 4U, or
"before" when you can type B4?

* Send esotero-cryptic messages that make sense only to yourself.

* Work with the scientifically-proven fact that most people are
masochists and simply love to be insulted and vilified. Listmembers
will love you for your insults and ask for more.

* If people do not talk to you, accuse them of being unappreciative
morons and threaten to leave the list unless they respond to your
messages.

Listmembers will beg you to stay and, realizing that you are the most
loved member of the list, you can make yourself comfortable by doing
all of the above over and over with joyous abandon.


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[guide.chat] how to successfully participate in an email group.

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