[guide.chat] Male vs. Female at the ATM

From: "Scott C" <castledine10@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
To: <guide.chat@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Date: Sat, 29 Aug 2009 19:00:31 +0100
            MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE  
            A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:

            'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM 
machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their Vehicles.  
Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined 
below when accessing their accounts.  After months of careful research, MALE 
&FEMALE Procedures have been developed.  Please follow the Appropriate steps 
for your gender.' 

             
            MALE PROCEDURE: 
            1. Drive up to the cash machine.
            2. Put down your car window. 
            3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
            4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw. 
            5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
            6. Put window up. 
            7. Drive off. 
            FEMALE PROCEDURE:  

            What is really funny is that most of this part is the Truth!

            1. Drive up to cash machine.
            2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with 
the machine. 
            3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
            4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate 
card. 
            5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
            6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
            7. Open car door to allow easier access due to excessive distance 
of machine from car. 
            8. Insert card. 
            9. Re-insert card the right way. 
            10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the 
inside back page.
            11. Enter PIN. 
            12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
            13. Enter amount of cash required. 
            14. Check makeup in rear view mirror. 
            15. Retrieve cash and receipt. 
            16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside. 
            17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back 
of checkbook.
            18. Re-check makeup. 
            19. Drive forward 2 feet. 
            20. Reverse back to cash machine. 
            21. Retrieve card. 
            22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the 
slot provided! 
            23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
            24. Restart stalled engine and pull off. 
            25. Redial person on cell phone. 
            26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles. 
            27. Release Parking Brake.
            SEND THIS TO A MAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH (and to the ladies who can 
handle it--they need a laugh, too!)
[guide.chat] Male vs. Female at the ATM

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