[guide.chat] In Reply To: [guide.chat] Forwarded Email: SENIOR SEX STORIES.

From: "Keith Wines" <keith.wines@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
To: "guide chat" <guide.chat@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Date: Sat, 15 Aug 2009 13:32:43 +0100
Hi Hazel and Kim many thanks for brightening up a day of doom and all that is 
going on at the present time in the chat line and this particular funny one is 
very very good ,I really enjoyed it ,well done from me   Keith 





-----Original Message-----
From: Hazel & Kim Darvell - Email Address: darvell206@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sent On: 15/08/2009 11:45
Sent To: guide chat - Email Address: guide.chat@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [guide.chat] Forwarded Email: SENIOR SEX STORIES.

-----Original Message-----
From: Kath Lordan - Email Address: kathlordan@xxxxxxxxx
Sent On: 14/08/2009 21:35
Sent To: Hazel & Kim Darvell - Email Address: darvell206@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: SENIOR SEX STORIES.

   SOCIAL SECURITY SEX   
  Two men were talking.  'So, how's your sex life?' 
  'Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex.' 
  'Social Security sex?'  
  'Yeah, you know; I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!'  
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

LOUD SEX  A wife went in to see a therapist and said,
  'I've got a big problem, doctor. 
  Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes,
  he lets out this ear splitting yell.' 
  'My dear,' the  shrink said, 'that's completely natural.
  I don't see what the problem is.' 

  'The problem is,' she complained, 'it wakes me up!' 
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

QUIET SEX Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his 
wife 
  during a recent lovemaking session,
  'How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?' 

  She glanced at him and replied, 'You're never home!'  
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

     CONFOUNDED SEX  A man was in a terrible accident, and his 'manhood' was 
mangled and torn from his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine 
could give him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the 
surgery since it was considered cosmetic. 
  The doctor said the cost would be $3,500 for 'small,
  $6,500 for 'medium,  and $14,000 for 'large.' 

  The man was sure he would want a medium or large, but the doctor urged him 
  to talk it over with his wife before he made any decision.
  The man called his wife on the phone and explained their options.
  The doctor came back into the room, and found the man looking dejected.  

  'Well, what have the two of you decided?' asked the doctor. 

  'She'd rather remodel the kitchen.'  
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

        WEDDING ANNIVERSARY SEX 
  A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their
  40th wedding anniversary  The husband yelled, 'When you die, I'm getting
  you a headstone that reads:
  'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever'.'  
  'Yeah,' she  replies, 'when you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads:
  'Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.' '  
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  WOMEN'S HUMOROUS SEX   

  My husband came home with a tube of K Y jelly and said,
  'This will make you happy tonight.' 

  He was right.  When he went out of the bedroom,
  I squirted it all over the doorknobs. 
  He couldn't get back in.  
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  ELDERLY SEX  

  One night, an 87 year-old wo man came home from Bingo and found
   her 92 year-old husband in bed with another woman.
  She became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony
  of their 20th floor, assisted living apartment, killing him instantly. 
  Brought before the court on the charge of murder,
  the judge asked her if she had anything to say in her defense.
  She began coolly, 'Yes, your honor.  I figured that at 92, if he could have 
sex...
   he could also fly.' 
------------------------------------------------------------------------------


 
 
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[guide.chat] In Reply To: [guide.chat] Forwarded Email: SENIOR SEX STORIES.

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