[guide.chat] FW: Think you're having a bad day?

From: "Roland Wilson" <liguna@xxxxxxxxxxxx>
To: <guide.chat@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Date: Fri, 18 Nov 2011 15:12:28 -0000

-----Original Message-----Subject: FW: Think you're having a bad day?

From: alan.walsh@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: Think you're having a bad day?
Date: Thu, 17 Nov 2011 15:04:58 +0000





  
  
    
      
      
       
        
      
      
      
      
      
      
      
      
      
      
      
      
      
      
      
      
      
      
      
        
        
          
            
            
            
             
            
            
            
             
            
            Think you are 
            having a bad 
            day? 

Fire 
            authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section of 
            forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The 
            deceased male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba 
            tanks on his back, flippers, and face mask.

A postmortem test 
            revealed that the man died not from burns, but from massive 
internal 
            injuries. Dental records provided a positive identification. 
            Investigators then set about to determine how a fully clothed diver 
            ended up in the middle of a forest fire. 
It was revealed that on 
            the day of the fire, the man went diving off the coast, some 20 
            miles from the forest. The fire fighters, seeking to control the 
            fire as quickly as possible, had called in a fleet of helicopters 
            with very large dip buckets. Water was dipped from the ocean and 
            emptied at the site of the forest fire. 
You guessed it. One 
            minute our diver was making like Flipper in the Pacific, the next, 
            he was doing the breast stroke in a fire dip bucket 300 feet in the 
            air. 

Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed. but 
            keep reading.... 

Still think 
            you 're having a bad 
            day? 

A man 
            was working on his motorcycle on the patio, his wife nearby in the 
            kitchen. While racing the engine, the motorcycle accidentally 
            slipped into gear. The man, still holding onto the handlebars, was 
            dragged along as it burst through the glass patio doors. 
His 
            wife, hearing the crash, ran in the room to find her husband cut 
and 
            bleeding, the motorcycle, and the shattered patio door. She called 
            for an ambulance and, because the house sat on a fairly large hill, 
            went down the several flights of stairs to meet the paramedics and 
            escort them to her husband. 
While the attendants were loading 
            her husband, the wife managed to right the motorcycle and push it 
            outside. She also quickly blotted up the spilled gasoline with some 
            paper towels and tossed them into the toilet. 
After being 
            treated and released, the man returned home, looked at the 
shattered 
            patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He went into the 
            bathroom and consoled himself with a cigarette while attending to 
            his business. 
About to stand, he flipped the butt between his 
            legs. 
The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion 
            and her husband screaming. Finding him lying on the bathroom floor 
            with his trousers blown away and burns on his buttocks, legs and 
            groin, she once again phoned for an ambulance. The same paramedic 
            crew was dispatched. 
As the paramedics carried the man down the 
            stairs to the ambulance they asked the wife how he had come to burn 
            himself. She told them. They started laughing so hard, one slipped, 
            the stretcher dumping the husband out. He fell down the remaining 
            stairs, breaking his arm. 

Still having 
            a bad 
            day?Just 
            remember, it could be 
            worse... 
The average 
            cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in 
            Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most 
            expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild 
            amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full 
            view, a killer whale ate them both. 

Still think 
            you 
            are having a bad 
            day? 
A 
            woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking 
            frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire 
            running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to 
            jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy 
            plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places. Up to that moment, 
he 
            had been happily listening to his Walkman. 

STILL think 
            you're having a bad 
            day? 
Two 
            animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending 
            pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn , Germany .. 
Suddenly, all two 
            thousand pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, 
            stampeding madly. The two hapless protesters were trampled to 
death. 
            

What?! STILL 
            having a bad 
            day?? 

Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a 
            letter bomb. It came back with 'return to sender' stamped on it. 
            Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to 
            bits. 
            
There now, 
            feelin g better?
[guide.chat] FW: Think you're having a bad day?

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