[guide.chat] : CHURCH BULLETIN - BLOOPERS
- From: "Keith Wines" <keith.wines@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: "guide chat" <guide.chat@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Sun, 2 May 2010 22:40:24 +0100
-----Original Message-----
From: Rose my Somerset Sight visitor,
Sent On: 02/04/2010
Subject: CHURCH BULLETIN - BLOOPERS
Subject: CHURCH BULLETIN - BLOOPERS
CHURCH BULLETIN - BLOOPERS
They're Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins!
Thank God for church ladies with typewriters.
These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins
or were announced in church services:
(Here we go!)
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the
Water..' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a
chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring
your husbands.
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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our
community. Smile at someone who is hard to love.
Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much
about you.
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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church
help.
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Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this
way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
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For those of you who have children and don't
know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the
choir. They need all the help they can get.
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on
October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening
in the church hall. Music will follow.
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon
topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due
to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older
ones.
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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and
other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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Please place your donation in the envelope
along with the deceased person you want remembered.
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The church will host an evening of fine dining,
super entertainment and gracious hostility.
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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and
medication to follow.
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing
of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn
singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared
to sin.
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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday
morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after
the B. S. Is done.
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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of
the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake
breakfast next Sunday.
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet
Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
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The eighth-graders will be presenting
Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is
invited to attend this tragedy.
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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First
Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
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And the best for last:
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's
new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours
Other related posts:
- » [guide.chat] : CHURCH BULLETIN - BLOOPERS - Keith Wines
