[etni] Re: Free Comic Sketch for English teachers as Purim Looms _ HELP
- From: Kátia Martins Pereira <katiamp@xxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: <barisil@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>, <etni@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Thu, 10 Mar 2005 16:48:39 -0300
**** ETNI on the web http://www.etni.org.il http://www.etni.org ****
> Hi, All!
>
> I liked it very much. I missed many parts cause I speak only English and
> Portuguese, though. Could anyone be very kind and translate it to English?
>
> Thank you!!!!!!!!!
>
> Kátia Martins Pereira
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Barry Silverberg and family" <barisil@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
> To: <etni@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
> Sent: Wednesday, March 09, 2005 6:29 PM
> Subject: [etni] Free Comic Sketch for English teachers as Purim Looms
>
>
> **** ETNI on the web http://www.etni.org.il http://www.etni.org ****
>
> Hi.
> "Mi sheniknass Addar, Mar Been Bisimcha"
>
> loosely translated,
> As the month of Adar commences, Rowan Atkinson Gets his yayas off.
>
> Many of you share with me the predicament of having to produce something
> funny for the school for Purim.
> This is particularly tricky, as anything funny you know in English, like
> Who's on First or Monty Python's "The Argument"
> and let's not even start with Woody Allen -- the English is way above the
> heads of most of the student's bodies. Body.
>
> Here is a little something I pulled out for our ill fated English day the
> other day. It's dumb, lowbrow, but we did it to a potentially hostile
> audience of junior high, unrehearsed and having to repeat the lines twice
to
> get them right; but it worked as comic theatre.
>
> The topic was travel to other contries but it can be easily adapted if you
> want to prepare a short Purim Spiel with some English for your class or
> school.
>
> This sketch is freeware, but you could come over and give me a hug.
>
>
>
> SCENE: AIRPORT TERMINAL: "AIR CANADA : WE SPEAK ENGLISH"
>
>
>
> (we must all bring suitcases and if possible toy weapons. Ham it up and
> overdress. The lines must be delivered slowly with a lot of eye movement
,
> gestures and foolish expressions. Pretend you're the Canadian Gashash ha
> hiver)
>
>
>
> ISRAELI TOURIST 1 (henceforth referred to as TOUR: pushy, impatient,
> vulgar, typical, similiterate) : Anee rotseh litayell be Hool. Ten Li
> Cartis.
>
>
>
> ATTENDANT: (ATT Stuffy, overly polite, with formal dress, tie etc).
WHAT?
>
>
>
> TOUR: CAR TIS, cartis, hool, hool first class!
>
>
>
> ATT: Ahh! you r name is Hoolio! Hoolio Iglesias?
>
>
>
> TOUR: Hool Hool Hool!
>
>
>
> ATT: (perturbed ) This is not a school. This is airport
> (waves arms) Canada!
>
>
>
> TOUR : (slowly as if to idiot) I
>
>
>
> ATT: YOU
>
>
>
> TOUR Want to
>
>
>
> ATT: (sincerely trying) want to... .... three four?
>
>
>
> TOUR: NO NO NO! (thinks and says slowly) I want to go to Canada.
>
>
>
> ATT : (delighted at the English) Ahh! To Canada! Yes, sir,
> Yes sir!
>
>
>
> TOUR: LO korim le Yasser, y'dbaa, my name is YOSSI.
>
>
>
> ATT: ( Writes) Mr Yossi Dibba. Well, sir: Passport please:
>
>
>
> TOUR: Mah zeh, Pass- pott? (asks audience, someone tells him) Ahh ,
> Darkon! Yes, I am!.
>
>
>
> ATT: don't say Yes I am, say, YES I DO
>
>
>
> TOUR: YES I DO?
>
>
>
> ATT: YES I DO!
>
>
>
> TOUR: ET HA KIR BA BAYYIT YESAYYDO! ANEE ROTSEH CANADA!!!!!!!!!
>
>
>
> ATT: OK, OK (GIVES OR STAMPS TICKET, LOOKS IN BAG, PULLS OUT A KNIFE)
>
>
>
>
>
> ATT: WHAT'S THIS?
>
>
>
> TOUR: WHAT 'S THIS? WHATS THIS? THIS IS UMBRELLA! LA SHELLEG!
UMBRELLA:
> (mimes using it as umbrella)
>
>
>
> ATT: OK! NEXT PLEASE!
>
>
>
>
>
> Second Tourist (T-2 played byCarnit, who blew all the funny lines):
Shalom!
> Anee rotsa litayl be hool. Az, bevakasha ten li –
>
>
>
> ATT (cutting in) Yes, Madam!
>
>
>
> T-2: (annoyed) amarti, TEN LI
>
>
>
> ATT: Yes, Madam.
>
>
>
> T-2 Eyzeh Yes!! E efshar lisayyem Mishpat. Anee rak ommmeret TEN LI
>
>
>
> ATT: Yes Madam… That' s my name. Ten Li. My father is Tailandee. How
> do you do.
>
>
>
> T-2 (confused) I do how how. (regaining confidence) How how, now
> now. Give me now a ticket, Kartees to HODOO.
>
>
>
> ATT: Ho Do? Ho Do, you do (proud of himself)
>
>
>
> T-2: No, No, Hodoo, Hodoo: Is Big tsipor; Gobble Gobble! (pulls out
> naknik package from bag and points.)
>
>
>
> ATT: AAAHHH! Yes. OK, one ticket to Turkey; Passport please
> (stamps and gives ticket)
>
>
>
> T-2 Hodoo Lashem Ke Tov.
>
>
>
> ATT: Do you have anything dangerous in your bag? WHAT'S THIS?
>
> (PULS OUT a bound pair of GIANT FIREWORKS)
>
>
>
> T-2: (HOLDS IT LIKE TORA:, PRETENDS TO READ: )Vayedaber Monshe el benei
> yisrael:
>
>
>
> ATT OK! NEXT
>
>
>
> Third tourist : T3) played by Gittit
>
>
>
> T3: Give me a ticket for Hool: Italy, Spain, Barcelona,
Marradonna,
> m Manchester United Stares, Chad, Chad hasheni, Argentina.
>
>
>
> ATT: ABBLA ud ESpaniol;
>
>
>
> Gittit: ABBLA eema shelcha! Maher, Aval!
>
>
>
> ATT: Yes, of course. Passport (stamps it) Do you have anything
> dangerous?
>
>
>
> WHAT IS THIS! ( a gun or an axe)
>
>
>
> T3: This is to bursh my hair (or some similar lame excuse)
>
>
>
> OK! Next!
>
>
>
> Enter ( somebody very innocent who knows English and is obviously
harmless;
> I brought my youngest daughterMiriam, who is always willing to appear on
> stage, specially over from elementary school)
>
>
>
> (says in Perfect English), I would like to travel to another
> country, Like England or Canada.
>
>
>
> ATT: What? I don't understand you. Here is a ticket to IRAQ.
>
>
>
> Do you have anything dangerous in your bags?
>
>
>
> Miriam: YOU Can look.
>
>
>
> ATT : What's this! Pulls out a teddy bear or doll ! Police! Take
her
> away! (police carry her offf):
>
>
>
> The End!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
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