[bookport] Re: bookport Digest V4 #203
- From: DanFlasar@xxxxxxx
- To: bookport@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Sun, 22 Jul 2007 22:18:28 EDT
Hi all,
The reason Harry Potter is discussed on this list is because it is
about a *book* that many, many,
many people on this list want to read. And we want to read the book on
the...wait for it... BookPort!
No device exists in a vacuum. The BookPort enables the blind to read
material that was not previously available in a timely and accessible format.
I
don't know about you, but I'm pretty amazed that I am in the midst of reading
about Fleur's marriage to Bill Weasley, just like so many people around the
world are doing right now.
Isn't it amazing? BookShare offers it right now (!) for free (!), NLS
and no doubt RFB&D will offer it, there are Braille versions and if we want to
shell out the bucks, audio versions available. The Bookport enables us to
participate - in REAL TIME - a cultural phenomena. If we depended on NLS
(and
I take my hat off to them in appreciation and respect) we'd have to wait at
least a month or more.
But, those on the sidelines who wish to stand by and chuckle at the
silliness of it all (entirely justified -but I'll bet I'm having more fun at
the moment) or those so obsessed with the fine points of BookPort usage,
firmware and speculation about BP2 that all else is verboten, I'll provide a
synopsis of the Harry Potter and the Deadly Hallows which *proves* that it is
actually about the BookPort!
So, Harry, Ron and Hermione are in a tight place! Voldemort and his
minions are closing in, circling on Quidditch brooms, popping out of the
fireplace, transforming themselves from fleas into wizards and witches in the
basement, materializing out of the walls! It looks grim!
"Hermione! What spell should we use?", Ron asked anxiously. "Harry's
wand has been absconded by a renegade Chocolate Frog!"
" Blimey", Hermione says, "I had too much butter beer at the wedding! I
can't remember the words to the spell that will stop all this and save us!"
"Wait! I know...!" she exclaimed, digging into her backpack adorned
with magical signs and symbols. She pulls out a small, oblong black object
and
begins punching on little raised, rubbery buttons on it's topside.
"What's that", Harry asked in desperation as he sends a Dementer packing
with a hair dryer?
"It's an amazing Muggle device I used when I was at home. I'm what the
Muggles call 'blind' when I'm not at Hogwarts. My owl can read to me and I
have an invisible guide werewolf", she said, with some satisfaction.
Stunned by her revelation,Ron asks, "Cor, but how will that muggle gizmo
*help* us?"
Dropping her hands to her lap in exasperation, Hermione turns to Ron
to lecture him.
"The BookPort *is* magic, you silly but loveable twit - at least, it's
as close to magic as the Muggles can get! My cat Cruikshanks scanned all
my magic books into a text-readable form and I stored them all on the
BookPort. There, an amazing piece of software (that's what the Muggles call
their
spells) read the words aloud to me in a mechanical voice! it can also store
and play music!".
"Right!", Ron exclaimed, "I've heard of cat scans...".
Hermione shot him a dirty look that softened into one of affection as
though for a beloved dumb pet.
"Anyway, not only are all my magic text books for all our years at
Hogwarts RIGHT HERE IN THE PALM OF MY HAND, I also donwloaded every issue
of
the Daily Prophet, the entire run of WogHarts, the student publication at
school, but I also scanned in a very intellectual Muggle magazine called
'People'", she gushed, dodging a menacing butterfly with 3 inch fangs.
"Spare us the lecture, Hermione", yelled Harry, fighting off a vicious
were-gerbil, "Find the flipping spell!!!"
"Oh, right", she said, punching a few buttons. "I've got it!"
Pulling out her wand, she swept it about her head and uttered the magic
words:
"Terminus Publicatibus Potterus!!" At once, a bright light suffused
the area, blinding and then - a feel of flying. When the light faded, all were
sitting in a grassy field somewhere to the south of the village.
All this had happened quietly. The attacking witches and wizards now
looked rather shabby, and silly, like they were all wearing dollar store
Haloween costumes. The nearest of them looked at Herminione" What did you do
that
for?!!?, he whined.
"Because you have all lbeen a royal pain", said Hermione. "We're just
a bunch of kids trying to learn a decent trade in the magic and sorcery
business but, NOoooooo, you have to drag on your old arguments and feuds,
making
poor Harry's life miserable. So I have used the worst spell of them all - the
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH spell. I have stripped you all of your magical powers and
you are all Muggles now. You will find that your wands no longer work, if
you try to fly on a broomstick you're going to get SUCH a hernia!
"But what will we do now", they all wailed? "All we know is magic and
annoying everyone!"
"Right", Herminone said briskly, "As a muggle-born myself, I know just
what to do..."
So now, across England and coming to America, a new chain of discount
big box stores has arisen, run entirely by ex-wizards and witches. It has
actually done rather well under the direction of their CEO who used to be
quite
infamous in his day. If you stay up late watching tv, you can sometimes see
the original commercials for his stores. He comes out in magical-looking
robes, peers menacingly into the camera and intones: "I am Lord ValueMart ...
He Who Must Not Be Undersold!"
Epilogue:
Sadly, though, Lord ValueMart does not carry the BookPort. For that,
you have to go to the American Printing House for the Blind, whose advanced
wizardry is known and respected far and wide.
See what happens when you don't keep up with things? You could have
missed out on a really cool BookPort story! Hey, it's not too late! Go
download HP and the Deadly Hallows now from Bookshare!
Dan F
************************************** Get a sneak peek of the all-new AOL at
http://discover.aol.com/memed/aolcom30tour
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