[blindza] Jokes

From: "Boshoff, Deon (GP Health)" <Deon.Boshoff@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
To: "blindza@xxxxxxxxxxxxx" <blindza@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Date: Fri, 28 Mar 2014 06:17:55 +0000
1
This elderly couple is watching one of those television preachers on TV one 
night. The preacher faces the camera, and announces, "My friends, I'd like to 
share my healing powers with everyone watching this program. Place one hand on 
top of your TV & the other hand on the part of your body which ails you & I 
will heal you." The old woman has been having terrible stomach problems, so she 
places one hand on the television, and her other hand on her stomach. 
Meanwhile, her husband approaches the television, placing one hand on top of 
the TV and his other hand in his pocket. With a frown his wife says, "Ernest, 
he's talking about healing the sick, not raising the dead.
"2
Boss says to secretary, "We are travelling abroad for the week, so make 
arrangements."

Secretary makes a call to her husband, "My boss and I will be travelling abroad 
for the week, so look after kids."

Husband makes call to secret lover, "My wife is going abroad for the week, so 
let's spend the week together."

Secret lover makes a call to a little boy whom she is giving private lessons, 
"I'm going to be busy throughout the week, so you need not come for classes."

Little boy makes call to his grandfather, "Grandpa, I don't have classes for 
the week, because my teacher is going to be busy. Let's spend the week 
together."

Grandpa makes a call to his Secretary, "I'm afraid we won't be travelling 
again. My grandson and I are going to spend the week together."

Secretary makes a call to her husband, "My boss has some personal matters to 
attend to, so our trip is cancelled."

Husband makes a call to secret lover, "We cannot spend the week together, my 
wife has cancelled her trip."

Secret lover makes a call to little boy, "We will still have classes as usual 
this week."

Little boy makes a call to his grandfather, "Grandpa! I'm sorry we won't be 
able to spend the week together. My teacher called and said that I have to 
attend classes."

Grandpa makes a call to his secretary, "Change of plans! My grandson is no more 
coming. So we are still travelling this week. Make arrangements."

How will the chain be broken?

3
Pinocchio, Snow White and Superman are out for a stroll in town one day.As they 
walk, they come across a sign:"Beauty contest for the most beautiful woman in 
the world.""I'm going to enter" said Snow White.After half an hour she comes 
out and they ask her,"Well, how'd ya do?"First Place," said Snow White.They 
continue walking and they see a sign:"Contest for the strongest man in the 
world.""I'm entering," says Superman.After half an hour he returns and they ask 
him, "How did you make out?""First Place," answers Superman. "Did you ever 
doubt it?"They continue walking when they see a sign:"Contest! Who is the 
greatest liar in the world?"Pinocchio says "This is mine."Half an hour later, 
he returns with tears in his eyes."What happened?" they asked."Who the hell is 
Zuma?!" asked Pinocchio.




Best wishes,
Deon
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[blindza] Jokes

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