blind_html [Fwd: definitions]
- From: Nimer <nimerjaber1@xxxxxxxxx>
- To: blind_html@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Fri, 05 Dec 2008 12:47:13 -0700
Nimer M. Jaber
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-------- Original Message --------
Subject: definitions
Date: Fri, 5 Dec 2008 07:59:14 -0800
From: Alan Paganelli <alanandsuzanne@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Reply-To: Blind-chit-chat@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
To: Alan J. Paganelli <alzan@xxxxxxxxxx>
definitions
Acute Alcoholic: An attractive drunk.
Adolescence: The age between puberty and adultery.
Adultery: When a husband is too good to be true.
Alcoholic: A person you don't like who drinks as much as you do.
Alimony: The high cost of leaving.
Artificial Insemination: Copulation without representation.
Automated: A couple making love in a car.
Avalanche: A mountain getting its rocks off.
Bar Stool: What Daniel Boone stepped in.
Brothel: Home is where the tart is.
Calculated Risk: A computer date with a girl who doesn't take the pill.
Castration: A eunuch experience.
Censor: One who sticks his no's into other peoples business.
Cherry Cobbler: A virgin shoemaker.
Chivalry: A man's inclination to save a woman from everyone but himself.
Clear conscience: Poor memory.
Cobra: Bra worn by Siamese twins.
Compulsive Gambler: A guy who wouuld rather lay a bet.
Condominium: A condom for midgets.
Contrceptive: A labor saving device to be worn on every conceivable
occasion.
Conversation Piece: A girl who likes to talk in bed.
Death: Natures way of telling us to slow down
Debate: What lures de fishes.
Divorce Court: A hall of blame.
Egotist: A guy who suffers from I strain.
Entrance Exam: Precoital check-up.
Executive suite: A sugar daddy.
Exhibitionist: A person who discards three aces in strip poker.
Exotic Dancer: A girl who brings home the bacon a strip at a time.
False Pregnancy: Laboring under a misconception.
Feast of the Vestal Virgins: Cherries jubilee.
Football Game: A sport where a spectator takes four quarters to finish a
fifth.
Genius: A nudist with a memory for faces.
Gigolo: A fee-male.
Glass: Chinese marijuana.
Gold Digger: A girl who breaks dates by going out with them
Hangover: The wrath of grapes.
Happily Married Couple: Husband out with another mans wife.
Henpecked Husband: One who is afraid to tell his pregnant wife that he is
sterile.
Home Cooking: The place many a man thinks his wife is.
Homosexual: A man's man.
Horizon: A call girl hopping out of bed.
Hungarian: A very well-endowed man from Gary, Indiana.
Impotence: Emission impossible.
Incest: A sport the whole family can enjoy.
Jamaica: Question usually asked of a fraternity man when he returns from a
date.
Jury: A group of twelve people selected to decide which side has the best
attorney.
Legal Secretary: Any girl over eighteen.
Lesbian Cocktail Lounge: A her-she bar.
Liquor Store: A stupor market.
Locomotive: A crazy reason for doing anything.
Love Letter: A noose paper.
Lovers Leap: The distance between two twin beds.
Madam: Someone for whom the belles toil.
Man Hater: A girl who makes love with her eyes closed because she can't
stand to see a guy having a good time.
Marriage: The evil aye.
Maternity Dressmaker: A mother frocker.
Mermaid: A bottomless girl in a topless suit.
Meteorologist: A man who can look into a girls eyes and predict whether.
Minute-Man: A guy who double parks in front of the whore house.
Mistress: Halfway between a mister and a mattress.
Motel: A love-inn.
Mourner: Same as a 'nooner'-only sooner.
Nice Girl: One who whispers sweet nothing-doings in your ear.
Nudism: Exposure with composure.
Nudist Camp: A place where the peeling is mutual.
Nudist Colony: A place where men and women air their differences.
Nymphomania: A disease where the patient enjoys being bedridden.
Optimist: A husband who goes down to the marriage license bureau to see if
his has expired.
Oral Contraceptive: The word "no".
Orgasm: The gland finale.
Oriental Grocery Clerk: A Chinese checker.
Pajamas: Item of clothing laid by the bed in case of fire.
Paranoid: A couple interrupted by a cop in lover's lane.
Peeping Tom: A window fan.
Penicillin: What to give a man who has everything.
Regards,
Alan
Please click on: http://www.home.earthlink.net/~alanandsuzanne/
<http://www.home.earthlink.net/%7Ealanandsuzanne/>.
There, you'll find files of my arrangements and performances played on
the Yamaha Tyros keyboard. I often add files so check back regularly!
The albums in Technics format formerly on my website are still
available upon request.
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