blind_html [Fwd: definitions]

  • From: Nimer <nimerjaber1@xxxxxxxxx>
  • To: blind_html@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • Date: Fri, 05 Dec 2008 12:47:13 -0700


Nimer M. Jaber

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-------- Original Message --------
Subject:        definitions
Date:   Fri, 5 Dec 2008 07:59:14 -0800
From:   Alan Paganelli <alanandsuzanne@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Reply-To:       Blind-chit-chat@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
To:     Alan J. Paganelli <alzan@xxxxxxxxxx>



definitions

Acute Alcoholic:  An attractive drunk.
Adolescence:  The age between puberty and adultery.
Adultery:  When a husband is too good to be true.
Alcoholic:  A person you don't like who drinks as much as you do.
Alimony:  The high cost of leaving.
Artificial Insemination:  Copulation without representation.
Automated:  A couple making love in a car.
Avalanche:  A mountain getting its rocks off.
Bar Stool:  What Daniel Boone stepped in.
Brothel:  Home is where the tart is.
Calculated Risk:  A computer date with a girl who doesn't take the pill.
Castration:  A eunuch experience.
Censor:   One who sticks his no's into other peoples business.
Cherry Cobbler:  A virgin shoemaker.
Chivalry:  A man's inclination to save a woman from everyone but himself.
Clear conscience:  Poor memory.
Cobra:  Bra worn by Siamese twins.
Compulsive Gambler:  A guy who wouuld rather lay a bet.
Condominium:  A condom for midgets.
Contrceptive: A labor saving device to be worn on every conceivable occasion.
Conversation Piece:  A girl who likes to talk in bed.
Death:  Natures way of telling us to slow down
Debate:  What lures de fishes.
Divorce Court:  A hall of blame.
Egotist:  A guy who suffers from I strain.
Entrance Exam:  Precoital check-up.
Executive suite:  A sugar daddy.
Exhibitionist:  A person who discards three aces in strip poker.
Exotic Dancer:  A girl who brings home the bacon a strip at a time.
False Pregnancy:  Laboring under a misconception.
Feast of the Vestal Virgins:  Cherries jubilee.
Football Game:  A sport where a spectator takes four quarters to finish a
fifth.
Genius:  A nudist with a memory for faces.
Gigolo:  A fee-male.
Glass:  Chinese marijuana.
Gold Digger:  A girl who breaks dates by going out with them
Hangover:  The wrath of grapes.
Happily Married Couple:  Husband out with another mans wife.
Henpecked Husband:  One who is afraid to tell his pregnant wife that he is
sterile.
Home Cooking:  The place many a man thinks his wife is.
Homosexual:  A man's man.
Horizon:  A call girl hopping out of bed.
Hungarian:  A very well-endowed man from Gary, Indiana.
Impotence:  Emission impossible.
Incest:  A sport the whole family can enjoy.
Jamaica:  Question usually asked of a fraternity man when he returns from a
date.
Jury:  A group of twelve people selected to decide which side has the best
attorney.
Legal Secretary:  Any girl over eighteen.
Lesbian Cocktail Lounge:  A her-she bar.
Liquor Store:  A stupor market.
Locomotive: A crazy reason for doing anything.
Love Letter:  A noose paper.
Lovers Leap:  The distance between two twin beds.
Madam:  Someone for whom the belles toil.
Man Hater:  A girl who makes love with her eyes closed because she can't
stand to see a guy having a good time.
Marriage:  The evil aye.
Maternity Dressmaker:  A mother frocker.
Mermaid:  A bottomless girl in a topless suit.
Meteorologist:  A man who can look into a girls eyes and predict whether.
Minute-Man:  A guy who double parks in front of the whore house.
Mistress:  Halfway between a mister and a mattress.
Motel:  A love-inn.
Mourner:  Same as a 'nooner'-only sooner.
Nice Girl:  One who whispers sweet nothing-doings in your ear.
Nudism:  Exposure with composure.
Nudist Camp:  A place where the peeling is mutual.
Nudist Colony:  A place where men and women air their differences.
Nymphomania:  A disease where the patient enjoys being bedridden.
Optimist:  A husband who goes down to the marriage license bureau to see if
his has expired.
Oral Contraceptive:  The word "no".
Orgasm:  The gland finale.
Oriental Grocery Clerk:  A Chinese checker.
Pajamas:  Item of clothing laid by the bed in case of fire.
Paranoid:  A couple interrupted by a cop in lover's lane.
Peeping Tom:  A window fan.
Penicillin:  What to give a man who has everything.


Regards,
Alan

Please click on: http://www.home.earthlink.net/~alanandsuzanne/ <http://www.home.earthlink.net/%7Ealanandsuzanne/>.
There, you'll find files of my arrangements and performances played on
the Yamaha Tyros keyboard.  I often add files so check back regularly!
The albums in Technics  format formerly on my website are still
available upon request.
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