<USS Avalon> "The Talk - Part 2" by Ensign Cate

"The Talk - Part 2" 
Written by Ensign Lyryn Cate
 
 
Lyryn was awoken by James quietly shifting his way out of bed.  She pretended 
not to notice, needing the few moments to think.  Last night had not gone at 
all the way she had planned.  But at least they didn't make any really big 
mistakes.
 
James silently padded into the sitting area with a smile in his heart that 
radiated to his face.  She loved him!  Though they had not made love, it had 
been a wonderful night.  He had slept in her bed before after long chats and 
such, but he had never gotten to hold her as if she were his.  It was so hard 
for him all this time.  Lyryn was always the strong one, never the one who 
needed protection or comfort.  He finally had his chance to prove how much he 
cared for her.
 
A message came over the comm link informing James that an escort would be by in 
two hours.  They were to be escorted to another meeting with Admiral Pew.  All 
the anxiety came rushing back to him, but then he took comfort in the fact that 
together, he and Lyryn could face whatever it was they wanted to throw at them.
 
He went back into the bedroom to wake her gently, knowing that she'd want to 
complete her morning workout and meditation before meeting the Admiral.  Lyryn 
was up by the time he returned and he heard her moving about the bathroom.  
That's odd, he thought.  He knew that she never showered until after her 
workout.  James decided to surprise her with breakfast.  Of course it wouldn't 
be the same as preparing it for her, but there was thoughtfulness in calling 
someone and asking for breakfast as well, right?
 
Lyryn spent a very long time showering.  Foregoing her morning rituals, she 
thought hard about how to deal with James.  By the time she was dressed in the 
Fleet fatigues provided, she had come to a decision.  Honesty and directness 
were best.
 
James was setting the table as Lyryn exited the bedroom.
 
"Breakfast will be here in a couple minutes."
 
"I'm really not hungry, but thank you.  We need to talk," she said, taking his 
hand.
 
James experienced that sinking sensation in the pit of his stomach.  This 
couldn't possibly be good.  He allowed her to lead him to the sofa where their 
confrontation had begun the night before.
 
"I'm not good at this.  I've never had any experience.  Honestly, James, I 
don't know what to do.  You are probably the best friend I have.  Actually, I 
know you are - I've just never thought of it in those terms before.  I - James, 
I just don't think that we have the same feelings for each other.  I love you, 
but I'm not in love with you.  I'm all confused and distracted when I'm 
thinking about us and our relationship.  This is a time that I can't afford to 
be confused and distracted.  I want things to be the way they were."
 
James' heart sank.  He stared at her dumbfounded.  He had no idea where to 
begin, but a small part of him had seen this coming.  He had just dared to hope 
so very much.
 
Finally, he mustered the strength to say, "If that's what you want Lyryn, then 
of course."  It was spoken so quietly and so...resolved.
 
Lyryn just looked at him expectantly.  Surely he'd say something more.  
 
He said nothing.
 
"Do you hate me?" she asked.
 
He laughed a pathetic little sigh.  "Of course I don't hate you.  I love you, 
but I can't make you love me or want to be with me.  You're young, you have the 
rest of your life and I understand that you don't need me in your life the way 
that I want to be needed by you."
 
"You are not that much older than I."
 
"Nine years is enough."
 
"And I do want you in my life.  I just don't want...romance or whatever you 
want to call it.  It isn't a personal rejection.  Do you see me looking at 
anyone else?  No.  I just want you in my life the same way it has been.  Okay?"
 
"Of course."  They were interupted by the door chime.  Their breakfast had 
arrived.  No one was hungry.
 
James then showered, shaved, and donned his fatigues.  It was time to go meet 
Admiral Pew.

                
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