[authorme] PUBLISHING NEW WRITERS NEWSLETTER, NOVEMBER, 2001
- From: "Bruce L. Cook, www.author-me.com" <cookcomm@xxxxxxx>
- To: <authorme@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Sun, 28 Oct 2001 22:21:21 -0600
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In this issue...
AVOID CREATIVE DIALOGUE TAG SYNDROME, by Sandy Tritt
SPECIAL ON MANUSCRIPT CRITIQUES, by Sandy Tritt
FINDING TIME TO WRITE, by Jack Noel
Visit our Home Page. It changes often. www.AuthorMe.com!
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AVOID CREATIVE DIALOGUE TAG SYNDROME, by Sandy Tritt
"Just be like that," she pouted.
"Oh, come on," he groaned. "Not this again."
"You don't love me," she replied.
"Right," he snarled. "That's why I bought you an eight hundred
dollar diamond."
"Here," she sobbed. "Just take it back. Take it."
Okay, what's wrong with our sample above (other than being
melodramatic)?
It's an ailment I like to call "Creative Dialogue Tag Syndrome" --
the writer relies on creative tags (pouted, groaned, replied, snarled,
sobbed) so the reader will know how to interpret their dialogue. What's
wrong with this? Let me count the things:
The reader must interpret the tag and evaluate if the dialogue
agrees with the tag. At best, it disrupts the flow. At worst, the reader
decides the two are contradictory and the writer loses credibility.
It is telling the reader how the words are said, instead of
showing.
If the dialogue is well-written and the accompanying action is
well-chosen, it is redundant.
It is annoying.
Consider, instead:
Shelly's lower lip quivered. "Just be like that."
Mike rolled his eyes. "Oh, come on," he said. "Not this again."
"You don't love me."
"Right," he said. "That's why I bought you an eight hundred dollar
diamond."
"Here." She pulled off the ring and shoved it under his nose. "Just
take it back," she said, her voice breaking. "Take it."
Okay, so nothing's going to help our melodrama too much, but let's
still examine the techniques used. We scrapped every creative dialogue
tag. Every one. We replaced each with one of four techniques:
No tag at all. This allows the power of the words to stand
alone. As long as we know who's speaking, no law says we must use a tag.
Action. "Shelly's lower lip quivered" replaces "she pouted."
It's more specific, it allows us to visualize Shelly, and it's showing,
not telling.
The prosaic "said." Yes, "said" is boring. It's overused. In
fact, it is so boring and overused that it's invisible. Just like "the"
and "a" and "his" and other parts of speech that are used several times
on each page, "said" slides right past the reader and allows him to
concentrate on what's important: the action and the dialogue.
A combination of "said" and action. This is particularly
effective when interrupting dialogue, as in the last sentence of the
after example above.
While we are on the topic of dialogue tags, lets also talk about
correct punctuation. If a tag is used (preferably "said," but an
occasional "asked" or "repeated" is permitted), a comma separates the
dialogue from the tag (see examples in sentences 2 and 4 of the above
example). If action only (no tag at all, as in the first sentence in the
example) is used, it is considered a separate and complete sentence and
should be punctuated as such. If it is necessary to interrupt a dialogue
sentence, as in the last sentence in the above example, use the tag and
action, thus allowing a comma instead of a period.
Note: "I love you," she smiled, is never correct. "Smiled" cannot be a
tag; it is an action. Therefore, it can be written in one of two ways:
"I love you," she said and smiled. - or - "I love you." She smiled.
If your dialogue contains a question, such as: "Who are you?" he
asked, it is not necessary to punctuate with a question mark and use
"asked" as a tag. This is personal choice and personally, I usually use
the tag.
Dialogue is one of the most important tools a writer has to convey
character and to build plot. Using it effectively means tagging it
effectively. Read the before and after examples given here aloud. Hear
the difference. Hear the redundancy. Hear the invisibility of the
hardworking "said."
It will be the best friend you ever had.
(c) copyright 1999 by Sandy Tritt. All rights reserved, except for those
listed here. May be reproduced for educational purposes (such as for
writer's workshops), as long as this copyright notice and the url:
http://tritt.wirefire.com are distributed with the pages. For use in
conferences or other uses not mentioned here, please contact Sandy Tritt
at tritt@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx for permission and additional resources at no
or limited charge.
Keep writing!
Sandy Tritt
tritt@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sandy's website:
http://tritt.wirefire.com
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FINDING TIME TO WRITE, by Jack R. Noel
Surveys of published writers have revealed that most of those
who reach success in publishing do so only after years of effort. The
years before success finally arrives are often spent trying to support
ourselves and our families while working in non-writing jobs.
Generally, this means that we have to somehow fit reading and writing
into our daily lives and that can be challenging.
I believe there are methods one can use to ensure that we succeed
in writing to whatever degree we want. I will offer some of these
here. Please don?t think my humorous approach means that I?m not
serious about offering real help. I?m deadly serious because I?ve had
to face this struggle myself. I just don?t want to whine about it.
First is the Flaubert Method: Have a disease which prevents your
holding a job but does not completely disable or kill you. Spend the
latter part of your life in a single room with sealed windows, a single
door, and rarely admit visitors. This creates a kind of sensory
deprivation which will enable you to remember in excruciating detail
every person and event that occurred before your confinement.
It also gives you time for reading the work of others. Write all
that down, adding enough imaginative plot to make it into novels. It
helps if you can write your first book and get it banned in your own and
several other countries. This is free advertising.
This sounds funny but versions of it actually exist and it
actually works.
I don?t have a disabling disease, I have a sleep disorder: Delayed
Sleep Phase Syndrome. I cannot sleep before 2:30 AM and yet always
awake at 9:30 AM. This guarantees that I won?t be showing up at the
workplace anywhere near 8:00 AM.
For years, I?ve worked afternoon jobs. This gives me the first
four or five hours of the day to devote to my writing. Writing as soon
as I awake has released my full creative potential, which before had
been effectively blocked by the rush to work and on the job pressures.
I can now write a 3,000 word short story in eight hours. I have
written a 90,000 word novel in thirty-two days. Just try telling me I?m
crazy.
Second is the Stephen King Method: Go for the jobs which are
unpleasant and which offer no prestige and inadequate income. Mr. King
reports in his recent memoir that his early jobs after college were (A)
working in an industrial laundry where he loaded sheets and table cloths
?seething with maggots? into giant washing machines, (B) working as a
back country English teacher while living and writing in a doublewide
mobile home.
We?re talking really miserable and even desperate jobs, the kind
that'll make writing in closets while you?re dopey with fatigue seem
like a dream job. This will also humble you by giving you a firsthand
taste of the economic class system in the United States. It will enable
you to write stories about those who are poor and different from the
mainstream population. You will write about people like the girl you
knew in high school who wore the same clothes throughout the school
year. Your desperation will inspire you to recreate that girl with
powers that she will use to wreak fiery vengeance upon those classmates
who tormented her. You will send out your manuscript and not hear
anything for several months. Then your publisher will call and inform
you that you are so rich that your knees buckle and you?ll sink to the
cracked and peeling linoleum.
The H.P. Lovecraft Method: This is a variation on Flaubert?s
method. H. P. Lovecraft was not a robust and outgoing type. He is
best known for his florid-lurid tales of ultra-dimensional gods like
Cthulu who menaced mankind from the other side of Space. He published
a couple dozen of these books, but that wasn?t his primary output as a
writer. His social life was conducted via letter writing. He
constantly wrote letters to friends and acquaintances. He died young,
but in his brief lifespan he managed to write something like 120,000
personal letters.
Actually, I have little idea of how Howard found the time for all
that writing, plus adequate reading. The point here is that he did find
it and, with it, he found not only success as a writer but lasting fame
and notoriety.
The Genius Method: This may be the easiest path of all. Simply
be born with a humongous intellect. You will inevitably be channeled
through a first-rate education and go on to be something like a college
professor or lawyer. You will be able to read at double the rate of
ordinary mortals. And your urge to write will impel you to write book
after book, and many will have popular appeal.
Examples of this include men like the late Isaac Asimov, who
wrote over five hundred books and science fiction novels. His IQ was
200+. Asimov began as a Biology professor. But lawyer John Grisham
certainly qualifies too. Anyone who can get through law school and
achieve success in Law is no dummy. Together, Grisham and Asimov
illustrate another prime directive to writers: Write what you know and
what you love.
Put simply, the answer to the question of how to fit writing into
your busy life is this: You will find the time. Everyone who?s ever
felt the constant nagging, hopeful impulse to write has found the time
to do it. Everyone who's found relief, hope or insight from reading has
found the time to read. The truth is, we?re addicted. We can?t stay
away from the pen and paper or keyboard and word processor for any
length of time. Stephen King wrote, ?Art is the servant of life...?
I add that we are the servants to our Art. Forever and ever, amen.
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SPECIAL ON MANUSCRIPT CRITIQUES
SPECIAL THIS MONTH... First ten pages free, and, for a limited time,
all additional pages at 50% off the regular rate of $2.00 per page.
Just mention Publishing New Writers Newsletter (November, 2001).
Critiques by Sandy Tritt...
Unlike most editors, I consider my role to be a mentor or a coach.
Instead of just telling you what is wrong, I explain how to correct the
problem, and I work with you to teach you how to write effective prose.
More than 50% of my business is repeat business, and I relish
establishing long-term relationships with other writers.=20
Treat you with respect and compassion. All criticism will be of the
"constructive" sort. My purpose is to improve your writing, not to
destroy your confidence.
Mark your manuscript, correcting grammatical and spelling errors
and
suggesting alternative wording where appropriate, line-by-line.=20
Highlight areas that are especially well-written, so you will know where
your strengths are.
Where appropriate, offer suggestions for plot development,
character
development or other areas that could be strengthened.
Return a two-to-four page written analysis of your work. This will
include evaluation of: plot, setting, characterization, dialogue,
special effects (flash forwards, flashbacks, etc.), voice, point of view
and any other areas particular to your work.
If appropriate, recommend reading or resources to strengthen your
areas
of weakness.
Answer any questions you may have via email.
Provide my telephone number for a personal follow-up, if you
desire.
For Sandy's success stories, see
http://tritt.wirefire.com/Manuscript_Critique.html
Write Sandy at tritt@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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WRITERLY WEBSITES
Inspiration for Writers:
http://tritt.wirefire.com/home.html
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If [you] can continue to send me more useful information of any sort
pertaining to writing it would be greatly appreciated. Your March
newsletter has already been of a good deal of help to me.
Thank you,
Dave Fox
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. .
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Publishing New Writers, November, 2001 (no. 211)
Editor Bruce L. Cook, P.O. Box 451, Dundee, IL 60118 USA. Fax (847)
428-8974.
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