atw: (Fwd) OT: For Christine
- From: "Naomi Kramer" <nkr@xxxxxxxxx>
- To: austechwriter@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Thu, 12 Aug 2004 15:46:38 +1000
Fifteen Things That Took Me Over 50 Years To Learn
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping
pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason
why the human race has not achieved, and never will
achieve, its full potential, that word would be
"meetings."
3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and
"mental illness."
4. People who want to share their religious views
with you almost never want you to share yours with
them.
5. You should not confuse your career with your
life.
6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get
up and dance.
7. Never lick a steak knife.
8. The most destructive force in the universe is
gossip.
9. You will never find anybody who can give you a
clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight
savings time.
10. You should never say anything to a woman that
even remotely suggests that you think she's
pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging
from her at that moment.
(and of course, then she's technically not
pregnant)
(I thought a tshirt saying 'expectant mum' was an
ok indicator!)
11. There comes a time when you should stop
expecting other people to make a big deal about
your birthday. That time is age eleven.
12. The one thing that unites all human beings,
regardless of age, gender, religion, economic
status or ethnic background, is that, deep
down inside, we ALL believe that we are above
average drivers.
13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the
waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very
important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
14. Your friends love you anyway.
15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember
that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of
professionals built the Titanic.
FINAL Thought for the day:
Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes,
and it's up to women to stomp the crap out of them
until they turn into something acceptable to have
dinner with.
Now.....there, doesn't that just touch your heart?
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