<USS Banshee> The Wrong Tree
- From: Cannon Everett <youwerealmostkind@xxxxxxxxx>
- To: ussbanshee@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Sat, 27 Mar 2004 11:24:42 -0800 (PST)
The Wrong Tree
by Ensign Cannon Everett
&
Lieutenant SG Sara Kaelyre
Cannon sauntered down the hallway, whistling and adding the occasional skip to
his step, the invisible-to-all-else Randy walking beside him. He was annoyed,
to say the least. The cowboy was wasting time. "Cannon," and he put his head in
his right hand. "This is useless. The Revorena, Cannon! Have you forgotten?!"
"Rev 'er Engines? No, Ah haven't forgotten, Randy!" Cannon said, smiling and
laughing, pushing Randy's shoulder slightly. "Have you seen Cy? Oh mah
goodness, man, she's gorgeous! Ah honestly have ne'er seen a more boot-i-full
creature in all mah time a bein' alive. Ah'm serious! Now hush up. This is her
room!" Randy vanished as Cannon rang the chime.
Sara looked up from the PADD she was reading and looked oddly at the door. "Who
on earth?" She placed the PADD on the table and sighed as she walked over to
the door. She knew it wouldn't be Cyanah since she wouldn't ring her own chime,
and she hoped it wasn't Telsia. She didn't give the girl time off to keep
fussing over her.
When the doors parted Sara blinked in surprise. Everett was the last person
she'd expect to see at Cy's door.
"May I help you Ensign?" She asked as professionally as she could.
"Well Ah was directed to come see Miss Cy at her quarters so Ah mosied on over
here, hoping' I could possibly woo her into dinner tonight, perhaps a starlit
dance, you know the whole kit 'n kaboodle! So ya seen 'er?"
It took Sara a few minutes to decode what the young ensign had said and then
blinked a few times. "Wait, you came here to ask Cyanah out on a date?"
He smiled wide and nodded like a child. Rapid and excited.
Sara didn't know if she should smack him or laugh. Surly he had to know by now
that Cyanah was unavailable. "I'm sorry Ensign but perhaps you haven't heard.
Cyanah is engaged to me...to be married." Sara decided to leave out the whole,
plus your a guy thing for now. She'd use that if she needed a sledge hammer to
hit this guy with.
"What are you gettin' at?" he asked, the invisible Randy shaking his head
standing right beside him.
How on Earth did this guy get pass the Academy entrance exams? Sara thought as
she pinched the bridge of her nose. "What I'm getting at, Ensign Everett is
that I really don't think it's a good idea for you to ask MY fiancée out on a
date. She's not available. She's not single. She's getting married. To me.
Soon. Get it?"
"You're saying that she, Cy, a woman, is engaged to you, Sara, another woman?"
This was a puzzler for the coos, question marks of ultimate colors rotating his
skull. Two women? Engaged? This just couldn't be. It couldn't be at all. "Well
then, um, can I take both ya'll out on a date?"
"Normally when a person is engaged to another person that means that they are
pretty much off the dating market. Neither one of us has any interest in seeing
anyone except each other, Ensign, so no you cannot ask us both out on a date."
Sara was trying really hard not to talk to him as if he were a five year old,
but she was starting to think it might be the only way to get him to understand
"Well Ah know that, but you know, that's for normal cases." He started waving
his hands like he knew what he was talking about. "But y'all are both women, so
don't y'all need a little masculinity in there? A little testosterone? Just to
even things out?" Cannon wasn't understanding things as well as he wished he
did. And Randy was just about to bring the hand of god down upon him for being
a slacker. He was supposed to be searching for the damned Revorena, not pining
over a woman who'd never be interested in him if they were the last two beings
in the entire universe...and that's granted he had the looks and the
personality. Okay, looks, he was fine. He was attractive but his stupidity made
him ugly.
Sara was quickly losing both her temper and her patience with this guy. She
quickly counted to fifty and then looked the young ensign in the eye. "No we
don¹t."
"Why not?"
"Oh for crying out loud! You have more important things to do!" Suddenly,
Randy, the being of mysterious origins, made a mistake. He made himself visible
to Cannon...and Sara. He was tall, had dark emerald skin and white eyes, blue
flowing hair upon his head. Randy was not of any known world simply because he
was not of the living world. Nor of the dead world. Randy...was something else.
And here he stood, physically threatening Cannon with his body to desist the
benevolent courting. And he spoke loudly. "You will cease this useless venture
and continue your search for..." And then he turned, and saw Sara looking at
him. "Oh no."
Sara just blinked. Was she seeing things? It had to be the wine, she'd had a
glass of it on an empty stomach, that had to be it. She ignored the person
standing next to Cannon and looked right at the young ensign again.
"Look Ensign, you're barking up the wrong tree here. First off, like I said,
Cyanah and I are together, second, no we don't need a man around the house. So
please just leave us both alone." With that Sara sighed and shook her head and
then retreated back into Cy's quarters.
Cannon knocked on the door with his knuckles "Sara, just somethin' more. One
more thing! Sara!"
"What?!" Sara hissed angrily as she reopened the doors.
Simply, Cannon pointed to Randy and asked, "Do you see this blue guy?"
Sara looked from Cannon to the blue skinned man and then back to Cannon. "No.
Now go away!"
The door hissed before the two of them and Randy quickly made himself invisible
in case anyone else was coming. "That was close," Cannon said.
"You said it. Now can we get back to business?"
"Ah was almost SURE she looked like she had seen a six-foot-smurf on her
doorstep."
"Six-foot-what?"
"Smurf."
"I don't want to know."
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