The Stillness By Ensign Sara Crusher It was almost completely dark in sick bay. The only light coming from the glow of monitors, consoles and from the hall leading to the small room were the night shift hung out. There was an eerie stillness about the place, so quit and motionless as if it were a large hollow void. It was a stillness that Sara wasn’t use to when it came to the one place she spent most of her time. She sat up on the bio bed that had been programmed to monitor her at all times. She was unable to do much else but sit or lie there because of the restringing field that surround the bed. Doctor Terje had placed it there before he left, he had said it was for her own protection, but she knew it was because it was the only way he was keeping her there. Sara sat there kneading her fingers into her eyes and forehead trying to clear her head of the hyperspray induced fog she was in, and trying to remember what had happened just before she went out. She remembers arguing with Terje about having to stay in sick bay but to no avail. He insisted that for her own safety and well being she stay in sick bay and be watched in case she started to have hallucinations. She was in the middle of telling him that she wasn’t having hallucinations when she saw a Klingon Targ wearing top hat and tails tap dancing in the corner of the room. She wouldn’t have said anything but she was pissed because it was doing a very complex combination that she had been working on for months and still couldn’t get right. "Well I’ll be damned that blasted thing has got it down pat." Sara said out loud. Terje and Anthony both had puzzled looks on their faces. "What are you talking about Tribble?" Asked Anthony as he walked closer to Sara. Sara rolled her eyes as she pointed to nothing, "That blasted targ it’s doing that stupid step I can’t get right." And that was it, after that nothing. She figured that while she was talking to Anthony Terje had walked up behind her and given her a hyperspray to put her to sleep. She hated those kinds of hypersprays; they always made her feel like crap after she woke up. And this time was no different. Sara stretched out her muscles as best she could in the confined area and then looked up at her monitors. Her heart rate was more then a little high and she had a small fever, she tried to have the computer run a new bio scan but Terje had locked her out of the command system. "Damn him." She said as she tapped at the controls on the screen above her head. "Computer access command codes for Dr. Sara Crusher. Run complete bio scan of the patent in this bed." "Request denied. All command functions for Dr. Sara Crusher are temporality restricted." "Ok fine, so I can’t run scans, can I at least have an up date on my condition?" Sara asked rolling her eyes at the computer. The computer beeped and then replied, "Negative, that information is restricted." Sara was starting to get mad, "Can you at least tell me what time it is?" "The time is 2207 hours." Answered the computer. Sara thought for a second, which really made her head hurt. "It was around 1900 hours the last time I asked Terje what time it was. So I have been out for around three hours. Although I must have started to come to at least once because I can remember Terje and Captain Morrigan talking near my bed." Sara paused a moment as she tried to remember, but she wasn’t sure if it was a memory or a dream. "No it wasn’t a dream, I can remember Captain Morrigan looking at me, I sensed how stressed she was and then,,,,, damn it, Terje is worse then Anthony with those damn hypersprays." Sara started rubbing her temples; she was really starting to feel bad. She laid back down on the bio bed, her head feeling as if a warp nacelle had exploded in it. She was motionless for a while till the pain subsided, she was becoming very grateful for all the betazoid mediation tricks her mother had forced her to learn. After the pain had left she stayed flat on the bed, with her hands behind her head. She listened to the beeping of her heart monitor and the sound of her own controlled breathing. There was nothing for her to do but think and to remember. She wondered to herself if all these odd memories and emotions were what people referred to as seeing their lives pass before them. Sara closed her eyes and could see the desert where she grew up after her mother had given up command of her ship, the ocean on Betazed near where her grandparents lived and the way the academy grounds looked her first day as a cadet. She thought about the time she mixed together a compound for her grade school science fair that turned her brother’s skin and hair pink. And about the look on her mother’s face when she got her test scores from her academy entrance exams. She smiled at the memory of literally bumping into Anthony as she ran across the court yard late for a class, and then laughed as she remembered having lunch with him and a bunch of friends before he knew who her mother was. "Are you kidding Lewine,, Professor Salem is a piece of cake compared to the bitch I have for history. Our first day of class and we have to write a fifteen page paper on a member of the NX-01 Enterprise crew." Complained Anthony. Sara looked up trying not to smile, "Who is your professor?" Anthony thought for a moment, "I don’t know, some blond betazed. Custer, Brusher, Luster something ending in usher." Sara smiled only a bit, "Crusher?" She asked. "Yeah that’s it. Stephanie Crusher, use to be a Captain or something." Huffed Anthony as he ate his sandwich. The whole group simply lost it. Anthony just looked at them, "What?" Sara stopped laughing long enough to catch her breath. "Anthony, I know this is our first term were we have had a class together, but do you remember what Commander Carl called me during roll call." Anthony thought it was a really dumb question, but he answered it anyway. "Cadet Sara Crus,,,," He stopped mid word. "No way,, your retaliated to my history teacher. How?" Sara smiled at him, "She was attached to the other end of my umbilical cord." Sara’s mind wrapped it’s self around those academy days, and then around her time at star fleet medical school. She wondered if all her hard work, all her time and energy made any difference at all. Then she started to think about all the people in her life. Her mother, her family, her friends. Anthony was her best friend, they helped each other out all the way threw until they got separated during their internships. She was so happy when she found out that they would be on the Banshee together. And what about all her new friends, Cyanah was someone she really liked. She could see them becoming really close friends. Terje, and C. J and Jace and Burrows she was just string to get to know them. And what about getting to serve with Morrigan and Andros. After fishing her internship the Banshee was at the top of her list of placements and now she was here and it looked as if her time on board would be cut short. And what about,,,. Her thoughts lingered on him for the longest time. Josh, what about Josh. They had just started to build something. She thought about his stunning blue eyes, the way he looked the first time she saw him on the bridge. The feeling in the pit of her stomach when he asked her out, and the rush she felt when her door buzzer sounded his arrival for their date. Sara sat up and let her feet dangle from the edge of the bio bed as she let the emotions she felt for him wash over her. She closed her eyes and wished that when she opened them he would be standing there in front of her, telling her that this whole romulan virus thing was a really bad dream, that she had not heard Terje say that she only had 48 hours to live, and that Josh himself was also affected but showed no signs yet, that she had never seen the look in Anthony’s eyes, or felt the uncertainty that clouded her mind. But when she opened her eyes all she could see was the cold dark nothingness of sick bay. A single tear rolled down Sara’s check as she closed her eyes again, then another as the pain returned. She slowly laid back down, curling herself up on the bed with tears in her eyes. She tried to clear her mind again thinking this time of only getting better. She gradually fell back to sleep, muttering under her breath. "No damn Rommie is getting the best of me."