<USS Banshee> The Flu! WAS Re: What?

  • From: CptHacker@xxxxxxx
  • To: ussbanshee@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • Date: Fri, 14 Nov 2003 19:40:51 EST

In a message dated 11/13/2003 3:22:28 PM Pacific Standard Time, 
angelserene@xxxxxxxx writes:

> A tear feel down her cheek, she was causing so many problems for Josh; he 
> might be charged and arrested for saving her from Eric.  Now Josh had to deal 
> with having a child and possibly losing his job and to make matters worse, 
> Telsia didn’t know where she fit in, socially or professionally, or what 
> was 
> going to happen to her.  She knew she was an engineer but she wasn’t 
> exactly 
> sure how she fit in down there and the chief hadn’t been much help to her 
> in 
> that way.

Chief of Engineering Samantha Mason got out of bed and did the most Chiefly 
thing she could chiefly do which was to amble to the bathroom in a sickly 
humpish stupor that would make the Hunchback of Notre Dame look like a man of 
and old Victorian English etiquette. Half way there she vomited up oatmeal and 
something green that she didn't remember imbibing all over the carpet. Her 
eyes rolled into the back of her head and she collapsed on the floor. Artemis, 
her pussy, sniffed her vomit and figured that it was digestible and began to 
feast on the glorious meal his owner had upchucked only moments ago -- a gift 
from the heavens! Human food, if only partially digested and covered with a 
sickly acidic and enzymatic substance, but nevertheless it was food and that 
miserable misanthropic blonde haired man (Auth note: Wallace Hutchinson) hadn't 
come and set out a bowl of Kibble and Bits and gotten his balls scratched up 
trying to rub Artemis the wrong way. Oh the chunks of oatmeal! They were 
still warm from incubating in her stomach! The green goop was pure Ambrosia! 
nectar of the gods expelled from the mouth of his human!  Samantha groaned like 
a zombie and waved her feeble hand trying to keep Artemis from eating. It did 
not work.

Hours later Samantha could hear voices hovering over her. 

"Is she going to be alright?" That was Wallace. "I mean she's not going to 
die! She's too beautiful to die!"

"Well, let's see her skin is a pale gray, lips purple," a second voice began, 
presumably a nurse or doctor. "Her eyes look faded. I think some hair fell 
out. She's only taking food through an IV. She's delirious, her fever's on and 
off. We're giving her a regular regiment of antibiotics that we recieved from 
Zimlubari and maybe in a few weeks or so she'll be okay."

"Do you know what caused this? I thought she was getting better? Eww, what's 
all that green stuff in the jar?"

"Eh, it's a Zimlubarian Flu. The green stuff is her disease tainted mucus. 
All the cells are dead and it's a delicacy on Zimlubari with some MSG and sugar 
added. You want to try. MMmmm, it's so tasty. Needs more MSG though."

"But won't you get sick?"

"No, the virus that causes this creates this goop as a biproduct and the 
virus isn't airborne, it's probably from someting she touched or perhaps, but I 
highly doubt this, she may have gotten it from a monkey, which really just 
likely in a million years. Yet, it's actually quite an honor to get the 
Zimlubarian Flu. That and in a week she'll enter phase two of the virus."

"Phase two?"

"Her skin tone will color up again and she'll look healthy. The dizziness 
will stop and she won't be as groggy. She'll start to hallucinate. The virus 
mutates into the stage two Zimlubarian virus which manage to sneak in through 
blood-brain barrier and attach to her hippocampus and pituitary. It'll cause a 
torrent of neural stimulation releasing a flood of hormones throughout her 
body mainly dopamine and serotonin. She'll relive all her past memories and 
it'll serve as a positive reinforcement for her life. Many patients that get 
flu come out with a better outlook and are more confident."

"Ummm...I guess that's cool."

"Then she'll enter the unfortunate stage three."

"What's that?"

"Like I mentioned before about the hormonal release and imbalance. She'll be 
essentially doped up, hyperactive, and completely horny for a few weeks. 
Unfortunately, it's quite a chemical change and you never fully recover from 

"So..." Wallace's voice perked up. "She'll be a...nymphomaniac?"

"Pretty much. It'll alter her chemistry a little bit so she'll be more 
attracted to pheromones and well just about anything. We'll have to isolate her 
the first few weeks of this stage. God have mercy if she gets loose on the 
crew! We may have to supply her with several volunteer males."

"I do it!" 

"...but the major side effect is that she might start killing and 
cannibalizing the males. Oh great! I'll put you down on the list!"


"Yeah, it only happened in one out of ten thousand cases though."

"Hot diggity dog!! My chances improve by ten thousand! WOO WOOO!!! AHHHH!" 

"Mr. Hutchinson did you just have a moment?"

"You can tell?? Oh man, I should have worn underwear this morning."

"I'll...get you a pan."

"Better make it two! I feel a second coming!"

<<to be continued...in the most horrible way possible...>>

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