<USS Banshee> "Sunrise at Sunset"
- From: "Sarah Stewart" <cyanahkaelyre@xxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: <ussbanshee@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Tue, 27 May 2003 01:06:25 -0700
"Sunrise at Sunset"
by Lieutenant Sara Crusher
and Lieutenant JG Cyanah Kaelyre
The waves caressed their bare feet as they sat in silence,
staring out at the sunset. Their hands were intertwined, unwilling to
separate despite the troubles their owners endured. One wore a deep
green bikini with a sarong around her hips, her mostly straight fiery
red hair falling to the small of her pale, lightly freckled back. The
other had slightly wavy deep auburn hair that came to a rest just below
her bare shoulders, where the strap of her black bikini cut a stark line
across her fair skin. Though no words passed their lips, their minds
hesitantly flirted over their telepathic link, searching for a clue as
to how the other felt. Time slowly crept by, kept by the metronome of
the waves, until the silence between them could last no longer.
"Sara," the woman in the green bikini began as she realized
where she was, "this. is the same island on Betazed where you told me
that I'm your Imzadi, isn't it?"
Sara had found it difficult to tear herself away from this
place. Away from the place were that first life changing weekend had
ended almost a year ago with Sara giving Cyanah a chameleon rose and
telling her about the ideal of being Imzadi. She sat quietly for a
little while longer as she watched the scenery reverse itself from what
she had seen that morning during her run.
The sun was sinking behind the ocean's horizon, and the twin moons, no
longer shadows, were reclaiming their right to light up the pale sky.
Sara felt her hand being squeezed lightly and she looked down. It amazed
her as to just how perfectly it seemed to fit in the hand that held it.
Finally, Sara looked up at the woman who sat next to her and nodded. "It
is," she said softly.
The waves kept time for another few minutes as Cyanah vainly tried to
discern Sara's emotions, but her lover's mind was closed. Although
Delosians had no natural telepathic or emapthic ability, Cyanah had
improved remarkably at using her mind to communicate with Sara over the
past year, despite the relatively low strength of their Imzadi bond.
Finally, she gave up and said, "Sara, I can't tell what you're
feeling... Please, just tell me." Her eyes found Sara's and locked into
her gaze, begging for answers.
The look in Cyanah's sparkling green eyes made Sara try even harder to
find the words that had eluded her for so many weeks. Her mind felt like
the tide; always coming in and going out of clarity and controlled by a
mysterious force. "I'm not sure what I'm feeling, Cyanah. It changes
from one minute to the next.
Sometimes I understand and I'm fine with it. I know that what happened
with you and Rhi has very little to do with us. All I want is for you to
be happy and I'm more then willing to step aside while Rhi's the one who
can do that for you." Sara paused and then returned her gaze to the
waves. "But then at other times..." Once again, Sara couldn't find a way
to explain.
"You're right about it having very little to do with us, but wrong in
assuming that you have to step aside at all." Cyanah idly squeezed the
warm, wet sand between her toes, watching as water filled in the grooves
that her toes left. "You're also wrong about only wanting me to be
happy, because you obviously want you to be happy, too. And that is
perfectly alright, Sara." She placed a finger on Sara's chin and gently
turned her face so she could look her in the eye again. "Because I want
you to be happy, too."
Sara chewed her lip and kept her gaze fixed on Cyanah, despite the urge
to look away. Her mind raced for words; she wanted to say so much but
nothing seemed quite right. She wanted to express in words what she was
too afraid to allow Cyanah to feel though their bond. She wanted to say
more than just, "You're what makes me happy, Cy, even now with
everything that's happening, all I need to be happy is you."
Cyanah brushed Sara's lips with a light kiss, then looked back into her
eyes as she slowly said, "You have me, Sara. So what's stopping you from
being happy?"
What was stopping her? She thought she had it all worked out this
morning, but sitting here, facing the questions she had been trying to
avoid, she couldn't remember what her heart had told her. Everything she
had worked out in her head and in her heart had been overshadowed by the
damned insecurities, which she just could not shake. Quietly, in a voice
that could barely be heard over the waves, Sara gave in and said, "Rhi
has you too now."
"Does she?" Cyanah caressed Sara's cheek and left another light kiss on
her lips. "Do you not see a difference between the two relationships?"
Sara smiled ever so slightly from Cyanah's touch, nodding at first, but
then shook her head. "You told me once you were closer to me cause we'd
become major parts of each other's lives, but now you've been with her
as well."
"The difference lies in the emotional connections, Sara, not the
physical."
Suddenly things where finally making sense, or at least she hoped they
were; maybe the line between attraction and love wasn't as fine as she
thought. "How are we different to you, Cy?" she asked as she dug her
fingers into the sand.
Cyanah thought for a moment, turning to look at the sun, now just a
sliver above the horizon. Turning back to face Sara, she said, "I think
the most prominent difference is that I hardly know anything about Rhi,
personally. You and I are intimate in many ways: our emotional love for
each other, our Imzadi bond, our physical attraction, our lovemaking,
and our sharing of the little details of our lives. With her, it's just
the physical, and perhaps not even just that." She had to pause again to
figure out how to phrase her next sentence, since she still wasn't quite
perfectly fluent in the Terran language, but scientific jargon came to
the rescue. "I almost believe that I'm a catalyst to help Rhi uncover
her sexuality."
Sara's delicate eyebrow raised as her lip curled into an inquisitive, if
not confused look. "So you were an experiment?" Then she shook her head
as she allowed her mind to open fully once again. "She cares about you,
I can sense that from her, but not like I do." Sara paused as her cheeks
flushed a light pink. "I should have been able to see the difference
there. I shouldn't have allowed myself to get so jaded that I closed you
out."
"I don't think I was an experiment, but more of a transition. I know
that she cares about me, but you and I have something that's much, much
stronger, Sara. I truly do love you, and I can't say that about her."
Cyanah smiled as things finally began to sort themselves out. "I should
have been clearer all along about what my relationship with Rhi is, but
I'm not sure that I knew until just now."
Sara finally smiled as she felt as if she were no longer in a cold fog.
"I'm sorry I shut you out, Cy; I was afraid that if let myself open up I
won't feel the way you love me like I did before." Sara reached out and
caressed the side of Cyanah's face and then ran her hand though her
hair, "I love you, Cyanah, I always will." She smiled again before
leaning in to kiss her.
Cyanah was grateful to be able to feel Sara's mind again, as being
without it made her feel so alone. She eagerly kissed Sara as they lay
back onto the sand together, and then rolled on top of her to deepen the
kiss while entwining her fingers in Sara's hair. Reaching out with her
mind, she sought that connection between them that made their lovemaking
so much more intimate, and was relieved when she found it again. Nothing
was like it had been before; it had all changed, even the connection
between them, but thankfully it was all for the better. Everything was
stronger, and as Sara felt the warmth of the sand pressing into her back
she was most grateful to have the best part of her self back again; the
soft whispers of her Imzadi's mind inside her own.
Looking into beautiful green eyes, Sara held Cyanah's face in her hands
as it hovered above her own. Smiling, she brushed the back of her hand
along Cyanah's cheek. "I've missed you, Imzadi."
Sara's voice in her mind was like a fresh spring breeze in her mind,
refreshing and sweet after a winter of stuffy indoor air. "And I've
missed you. Thank you for coming back to me."
"I always will as long as you let me," Sara replied. "I'm just sorry I
stayed away so long." She ran her hand though Cyanah's hair again
before bringing her closer. Her arms wrapped around Cyanah's body,
holding her as tightly as she could and enjoying the feeling of having
her weight pressing against her own body as they lie together in the
soft white sand. The waves washed over their entwined legs as their
fingers curled around stands of red hair and bikini straps.
The twin moons and brightly shining stars above bathed them in a silvery
light as they each took comfort and pleasure in reconnecting and
rediscovering each other, there on their Imzadi beach.
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