<USS Banshee> "Reassurances"

  • From: "Sarah Stewart" <cyanahkaelyre@xxxxxxxxxxx>
  • To: <ussbanshee@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • Date: Thu, 8 May 2003 16:01:39 -0700


by Lieutenant Sara Crusher

and Lieutenant JG Cyanah Kaelyre


The corridors of the Banshee were quiet and empty, her crew busy with
either shore leave or making sure every inch of the ship was ready for
Morrigan's return. The only movement in the halls of deck two was
provided by the two redheads that were walking toward the officer's
section after escorting Ms. Morrigan to her quarters to pack. Sara
hadn't said much of anything since leaving the surface, mainly because
she wasn't sure what to say.  

Morri had asked her to take her mother back to Ireland, which she was
looking forward to, but she also requested that she would ask Cyanah to
stay with her while she recovered. Sara wasn't sure how she felt about
going without Cyanah - or was it that she didn't know how she felt about
leaving Cyanah with Morrigan?

Sara's mind was so jumbled that she nearly walked past her quarters.
Cyanah, who had a hold of Sara's hand, had to tug on her arm a bit to
get her to stop. Sara smiled at her and shook all the thoughts from her
mind, if only for a moment, and followed Cyanah into the cabin. 

Once the door closed behind them, Cyanah turned to face Sara. Trailing a
finger down her cheek, she asked, "Love, I can tell that something's
wrong... need to talk?" She led Sara over to couch before she could
reply, then fetched them both a cup of chamomile tea from the
replicator. "Now, don't bother trying to tell me that everything is
fine. I can feel your apprehension. Tell me about it."

Not wanting to seem overly pathetic by telling Cyanah that she didn't
want to ask her to stay with Morrigan, Sara decided to play off the trip
as being what was worrying her. "I'm worried about what I'll find in
Ireland. I know that for the past few weeks all I've wanted was to know
what happened, but now that I have a chance to finally do it." Sara
shrugged and took a sip of her tea. "I guess I'd just rather not be
doing it alone is all."   

"Why would you have to do it alone? I'm perfectly willing to go along
with you, if you want me to come." Cyanah could sense that something
else was amiss, as Sara's apprehension hadn't faded once they'd started

"Oh I do want you to come! It's just that." Sara looked into her tea cup
as if she'd find the words floating in the warm liquid. She was being
silly and she knew it, yet deep down she had this dull ache. Her mind
flashed back to the conversation she and Cyanah had had a few months ago
and Sara sighed. She leaned forward and put her tea on the table before
sitting back against the pillows on the couch. "She wants you to stay
with her."   

Cyanah raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Well... I didn't see that
coming. Hmm." Cyanah leaned back into the cushions of Sara's couch and
took a long sip of the tea. "I can understand why you were feeling
apprehensive, at least."

"You do?" Sara asked as she turned her head to look at Cyanah. Was she
that transparent or did Cyanah just know her that well?  

Cyanah looked back at Sara over the rim of her teacup. "Mmmhmm. You're
afraid of losing me to Morrigan, and afraid of facing your past in
Ireland without me."

Sara just nodded. She wasn't sure what to say since she wasn't expecting
to hear that, even though Cyanah had hit it right on the head. She was
afraid of losing her and of facing whatever it was that she had done.
Sara felt as if she were being selfish or childish about this. It's not
like she hadn't been warned, it's not like she hadn't willing went into
this knowing that there was something not yet defined between Cyanah and
Morrigan, but it was still how she felt.  

"I know we've talked about it before, but yes, I am afraid of losing you
to her even more then I am of what I'm going to find in Kerry," Sara
said, as she reached out and started to play with the ends of Cyanah's

"Sara..." she began, putting her teacup down on the coffee table, "after
all of these months together that we've had, our Imzadi bond, the good
times, and the tough times, do you think I would throw that all away for
something unknown?"

"No," she said softly as she turned her head. Sara stared at the ceiling
and chewed on her bottom lip. "I guess I'm just worried that maybe the
unknown isn't so bad. I mean, look at us, I jumped into the unknown and
found something wonderful; what if you do the same thing with Morri?"

"Even if I did, there would be no way I'd throw away what you and I
have. That would be like throwing away a beautiful work of art." She
took Sara's hands in her own and squeezed them, closing her eyes and
reaching out to Sara over their link. "And I know you can tell that I'm
telling the truth."

Sara also closed her eyes as she felt Cyanah's thoughts and emotions
touch hers. She did know that every word Cyanah had said was genuine.
Her apprehension slowly began to fade away as she squeezed Cyanah's
hands back, but it didn't completely leave. "I feel as if I'm being
selfish and I know I shouldn't be." Sara opened her eyes and looked at
Cyanah with a soft smile. "I promise one of these days I will get it
through my thick head that I don't have to be." 

"Well, y'know... I kinda like it when you're selfish," Cyanah replied
with a playful wink.

Sara's smile brightened as she blushed a little pink. "Oh really?" She
moved closer to Cyanah on the couch. "Good to know," she added before
leaning in and softly kissing Cyanah. 

An hour or two later, they lay entwined on Sara's bed, basking in each
other's presence. Cyanah languidly played with Sara's hair, the warm
afterglow of lovemaking affecting her mind like a sauna's relaxing
steam. "I'd hate to have to be apart from you for any length of time
without that as a parting gift." Her voice was soft and her speech

"Mmmhmm," Sara agreed happily, "I just hope it's not too long, I don't
think I like the idea of sleeping without you next to me," Sara said as
she cuddled closer to Cyanah. She knew she needed to pack, but the last
thing she wanted to do at that moment was leave. So she lay there, lost
in the emotions that flowed between them. A few more minutes, she
thought to herself, won't hurt. Nobody's in a rush, right?

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