<USS Banshee> Over the Edge

  • From: EnsnSaraCrusher@xxxxxxx
  • To: ussbanshee@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • Date: Tue, 10 Sep 2002 00:53:35 EDT

"Over the Edge"

By Lieutenant Josh Asper
 & L
ieutenant Sara Crusher 

Josh walked along the drab corridors of the USS Banshee. His time on the 
bridge had been spent well as his shore leave had been cut short by personal 
reasons. As he paced down the hallway on Deck Two, his mind wandered to his 
object of affection. Sara Crusher, whom had recently been promoted, had 
somehow managed to elude him for almost three days. Josh, not the least bit 
suspicious, wanted some time with her and figured he could find her on shift.

He approached sickbay, the cold doors stood before him as if to mock him, but 
to no avail. He stepped through into the brighter room as nurses scurried 
about with their daily duties. He peaked around into the nook and crannies 
trying to find her and finally found her sitting at her desk in her office. 
He rapped a bit on the door frame, not loud, but just enough to pull her 
attention to him.

Sara sat behind her desk with a rather large smile on her face and her hands 
wrapped around a steaming cup of a delightful tea she had most recently 
become very found of. She was just about to look over the medical reports for 
the last couple of days when the soft tapping on the door frame made her look 
up. "Josh!?" 

A smile the size of the Banshee itself spread across his lips as he stepped 
more fully into the office space. He gazed at her red hair, and down to her 
facial features, and realized what he'd been missing the past few days. He 
stepped across to the chair in front of her desk and sat down, meeting her 
gaze over the steaming cup of tea. "Where have you been for the past three 
days? I haven't seen you, or heard from you." It wasn't as if he was upset 
with her, much to the contrary, he was actually glad for the time away from 
her to be able to sort the rest of his mound of emotional problems out.

"I decided not to get lost in work since heavens knows when we'll get another 
shore leave, so I decided to enjoy my self and have some fun." She told him 
as her mind raced. Her heart began to join in the race as she watched him 
smiling at her. Why did that damned alarmed clock have to go off this 
morning, she knew she'd have to face everything the past few days would 
cause, but why so soon. She hoped to get him talking about himself, maybe 
that would give her time to think. "What about you…what did you do?"

"Was on the bridge for the most part, running the routine diagnostics and 
such. Sat alone up there for a while, just thinking about things that aren't 
of any importance." Josh didn't feel at all ready to bring forth his emotions 
of his family to her at this point in their relationship, so he avoided 
thinking about it. "So instead of getting lost in work, what did you end up 
doing? Hopefully it was more entertaining and fun than being on the bridge."

Sara turned a very deep crimson while at the same time she was unable to stop 
the smile that was brightening her face. So far she hadn't lied about 
anything, she had fully enjoyed herself, many, many times over the past few 
days. She wondered how long she could hold out and hoped that the Gods would 
have mercy on her and call one of them away soon. "I spent sometime with 
Cyanah." She told him as she took a long sip of her tea. It seemed to help 
calm her a bit. 

Josh's eyebrow perked, "Shopping? Eating?" Josh stopped in mid-sentence and 
then stared at her; he shifted his gaze from normal to a more threatening 
look. "You tried to pick up on the guys on the station, didn't you?"

With out losing a beat, Sara found herself lost in nervous laughter. A habit 
since childhood, when ever she was scared or nervous she would start laughing 
out of no where. "We did go shopping in fact." She said as she tried to catch 
her breath. "We ate out once or twice…stayed in for the most part." She 
flashed him a smile, "And no, we didn't try to pick up guys."

"Stayed in for the most part? Doing what?" A smile spread across Josh's face. 
"Wait, let me guess. You did your nails, your hair, and tried on clothing, 
didn't you?"

"That's not all women do when they get together Josh." She said suddenly 
taking on a defensive tone of voice. She knew he was only joking but suddenly 
it seemed to take on a new spin for her - as if he were mocking something 
beautiful, and special. But he wasn't, he had no idea what was going on, but 
still. "We were engaged in something deeper then that." She huffed. 

Josh's mind began to race; he had been only joking. "I didn't mean to offend 
you, I was only kidding. And just what do you mean, something deeper?" Josh 
had begun to get kind of suspicious, and his ability to stay calm was running 

Sara took a deep breath and leaned back into her chair. Her mind was so 
flooded with everything she didn't know what to do, or what to say. Should 
she just come out and tell him? She closed her eyes and stopped thinking. 
What was it that Cy told her? Just say it and you'll feel better? She didn't 
want to hide what she shared with Cyanah. And damn it she shouldn’t have to. 
They were apart of each other's lives now, which meant they were entwined 
with the other people in their lives - and those people had to deal with 
them. Sara stood up and walked across the room. She stuck her head out of her 
office and called out to Heather that she was not to be bothered by anyone 
but Lt. Kaelyre, Captain Morrigan and Commander Andros; in that order. She 
then closed her office door and locked it. "Josh, we have to talk."

Josh went stiff, his mind was still racing and he couldn't imagine what was 
coming. "Sure, is everything OK? Nobody in your family died, did they?"

She watched as Josh turned his chair to face her as she stood. She took 
another deep breath and closed her eyes again. The link with Cy was weakening 
from this morning but she could still feel it. "Josh…I'm not sure how to say 
this other then just to say it. There's really no way to sugar coat it." She 
paused a moment to gage his reaction, then she went on. "Something’s happened 
to me over the past few days…something amazing and wonderful." Again she 
waited, "I started a new relationship. With Cyanah."

Josh new quite well the sexual preference of Cyanah Kaelyre, rumors had been 
circling about her and the Captain for some time, but he never threw much of 
his attention to the matter for obvious reasons. He sat there, dumbfounded 
and completely stupefied. "What do you mean, a 'new relationship'?"

A moment ago Sara had longed for her empathic link with Cyanah to have been 
strong so she could feel her support. Now, as she felt Josh's emotions begin 
to raise, she was glad it had weakened over the mere hours they had been 
apart. This wasn't going to be pretty and if she had been able to pick up on 
what was about to go down, she'd be storming Sara's office in about five 
minutes. Sara walked over and sat on the edge of her desk. "Are you aware of 
the Betazed term 'Imzadi'?" She asked her voice calm and strong.

"More or less, what about it?"

Sara sat primly and very clearly and very proudly replied. "Cyanah is MY 

Josh's jaw dropped for he knew what it had meant, "You? And Cyanah? You guys 
had...?" He stood and stared at her, "You cheated on me with her?"

"No!" Sara said as she too stood. "My relationship with Cyanah has nothing to 
do with you." She told him. 

Josh was amazed at her lack of understanding. "You're my girlfriend, correct?"

"Yes." She answered. "But we were never lovers. So how am I cheating on you?"

"YOU SLEPT WITH HER! Just because we were never intimate doesn't mean that I 
didn't want to be! I had every intention of eventually going to that level, 
but now I'm not so sure." Josh's mind went blank as Sara's Betazed history 
hit him. "We humans have a problem with having our loved ones, who are meant 
to love only one person, go gallivant and have sexual relations with other 
people. Regardless of the pairs sexual level."

Sara was starting to get mad. "I fully understand human behavior Joshua! And 
luckily for me, when it comes to the values of these types of relationships, 
it was the one place where I was taught the Betazed way. Yes! I slept with 
Cyanah. Yes! She is my Imzadi! Oh, and by the way, it wasn't just sex…if 
that's what you think, then you do not know the meaning of the word at all! 
But the way I love her has nothing to do with the way I love you."

"OK, enlightened one, enlighten me. Just how do you love me?" Josh was 
getting livid, his hands grabbed the chair and rested there, silently 
clenching it into an almost oblivion. "If you love me so much, how come I'm 
not your Imzadi?"

Sara watched as Josh's knuckles began to turn white. "Because what I feel for 
you is not like what I feel for Cyanah…bonding with someone isn't as simple 
as being with them. Even if we had made love there would have been no 
guarantee that we would have bonded. Many Betazeds go though a number of 
people before they find their Imzadi."

"So, I was just someone you had planned on 'going through'?!" Josh was 
becoming unstable, he was afraid Sara was going to sedate him or something. 
His grip tightened, as if it were physically possible. "Tell me, Sara, what 
exactly do I mean to you, if I mean anything."

Sara took the verbal slap on her character harshly. "First off! No, you were 
not going to be someone I was going to 'go through' cause I never intended to 
sleep with you!" She told him. "And as for how I feel about you…I love you…
why can't you understand that I can love you both with out having to take 
something way from the other!"

"Oh, so our little about-to-die talks about having families and such...you 
never had any intention of pursuing anything like that with me? I fail to see 
how I am of any use to you, I was hoping for a long-term relationship. As far 
as loving us both, that's not how I do things. Call me old-fashioned, but I 
like to know that my wife, or girlfriend, isn't sleeping around!"

Sara slapped Josh across the face hard, nearly knocking him off his feet. 
"How dare you!" Sara was shaking she was so angry so she hit him again. "You 
have no right to judge me when you are unwilling to understand me!"

"Unwilling? No, I understand just fine! You were just using me, you never had 
any plans on pursuing any sort of relationship with me, that's how it is." 
Josh turned on his heel, his right hand dropped from his cheek and he walked 
towards the door. He stopped and looked back at her, "I gave you my heart, 
but since you only wanted it for a transplant, I'm keeping it. Goodbye, 
Sara." Josh stepped through the doorway and walked across sickbay, almost 
knocking over carts of equipment as he went. He hadn't been livid like that 
for some time, but this took the cake. He exited sickbay and headed for the 

"By the Gods your one narrow-minded Jerk Joshua Asper! Get the hell out and 
don't come back!" She shouted after him. Sara leaned against the wall of her 
office, her breathing heavy and her heart pounding from her anger. "Computer 
close and lock office door!" She hissed as she ran her hands through her hair 
in frustration. "AH! What made me think he was big enough to handle this?!" 
She said as she slammed her hands down to her side so hard that she hit the 
wall behind her, badly bruising the sides of her fists. 

Then just as suddenly as the anger had hit, she was in tears. She slowly 
slumped to the floor with out another spoken word. But in her mind, with out 
her really even knowing she was doing it. She called out a name. Cyanah!

"There's coffee in that nebula!" -- Janeway (The Cloud) 

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