<USS Banshee> Lost in the moments

  • From: EnsnSaraCrusher@xxxxxxx
  • To: ussbanshee@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • Date: Fri, 11 Oct 2002 20:10:01 EDT

Lost in the moments
By Lt. Sara Crusher

Sara sat on the bridge in Andors’ normal chair. She sat motionless, her 
breathing was  slow and shallow, and even her blinking seemed to be 
controlled. It was as if her unusual presence on the bridge would throw 
everything into chaos. But as the chief medical officer she had a right to 
sit there, and she wasn’t leaving. She was tired of sitting in her office 
wishing for the slightest word from someone on the status of the away team. 
Not to mention she still wanted to check Morrigan out for herself and she 
wanted to be able to intercept her next check in and demand a few minutes of 
her time to give her a once over. 

The tension on the bridge was staggering, almost as if it was trying to 
strangle the life out of the people who sat at her consoles and stood at her 
stations. Sara surrounded her mind with every mental shield she had to keep 
out the emotions of the people around her. But the looks on their faces, 
their emotions burning in their eyes, she didn’t need to use her abilities to 
read them. They may not have shared her type of concern for Cyanah, but they 
did share in her concerns for their fellow crew mates, her included. It 
helped a bit knowing that they felt just as worried and scared. 

Something wasn’t right down on that large sickening plant that glared 
hatefully at them though the view screen. She could feel it in her stomach, 
but couldn’t explain it even if she wanted to. She couldn’t explain 
at this point. Her mind raced in so many different directions that she was on 
the bridge, but wasn’t on the bridge. 

The fear that engulfed her when Heather told her that a member of the away 
team was missing still lingered in her soul. The thought of "By the Gods 
please not Cyanah." had wrapped around her heart and had been squeezing 
tightly. For those few seconds in sick bay when she didn’t know whether or 
not it was her Imzadi that had disappeared, Sara could feel her life slipping 
away. And then just as her fear had nearly plunged her deep into a vast 
darkness, Heather said that it was the Captain. 

All at once Sara went from a crippling fear that something had happened to 
Cyanah, to a disbelieve able fear that something in fact did happen to the 
Captain. Captain Morrigan was one of those people Sara saw in the same light 
as her Mother, her Grandmother, and her Aunt. She was a woman that Sara 
respected greatly, feared a little less abnormally, and wanted to prove 
herself too and earn her approval from.  She was someone who was strong and 
powerful and nothing would ever happen to her because of who she was. 
Somewhere deep inside Sara despite all her fears she knew nothing would go 
wrong because Captain Rhiannon Morrigan the BBQ Queen was heading this 
mission. But in a blink of an eye something did go wrong. 

Sara’s knees had almost buckled under her when Heather said that the Captain 
was back and her life signs seemed fine. The emotions that crashed though her 
in a matter of minutes where taking their toll on her. And they weren’t done 
yet. As she walked out of sick bay and towards the bridge she felt a sudden 
rush of anger. Why hadn’t J’van been doing his job? Why hadn’t he been 
watching more carefully? But as the turbo lift door closed, incasing her 
within the small pod that would send her zipping through the seams of the 
ship, Sara realized that J’van must have felt like she had when she feared it 
was Cyanah that had been lost. In fact it must have been worse cause he knew 
it was his love that had not showed up. She scolded herself for jumping down J
’van’s throat and decided she’d have to buy him a drink when this was all 
said and done with. 

Sara’s frigid manikin like posture melted away when she heard movement behind 
her. She watched as Josh moved towards the turbo lift after exchanging places 
with Lark. She watched until the same pod that had brought her to the bridge 
swallowed him whole and whisked him away to where ever it was he was going. A 
friend at the academy once told Sara that one of these days there would be a 
burned by Sara Crusher club and she couldn’t help but think that Josh would 
end up being the president. She sighed inwardly so she wouldn’t disturb 
Commander Andros’ brooding and returned her fixed glare on Cardassia. 

It’s strange how mere moments in time can shape a person’s life in so many 
different ways. All it takes is a simple look, a touch, or a kiss, and 
everything changes. It was something as simple as giving crew physicals that 
had lead Sara to meeting a tall handsome young man and an amazingly beautiful 
young woman who would play major roles in her life. An awkward moment in sick 
bay during his physical had lead to Josh asking Sara out to dinner, which 
lead to a relationship, which lead to her breaking his heart. A conversation 
about volley ball had lead Sara and Cyanah to a friendship that blossomed 
into best friends, which lead Cyanah to Sara’s bed side when she was sick and 
then to her bed. A simple but passionate kiss in the middle of Cyanah’s 
quarters had put Sara into an emotional tail spin, but Cyanah’s touch on her 
bear skin pulled her out of it.  In that moment Sara had gone from playing 
someone’s girlfriend to becoming someone’s lover, from being lost in a fog 
of confusion about what being in love really meant, to just being in love. 

It was now those unexpected and uncontrollable moments that passed Sara by as 
the away team spent minute after minute away from the Banshee. That was 
perhaps one reason why everyone was so tense.  Because they knew that 
momentous events were going on down on the planet below, and that should 
something go wrong it could be devastating, and there was nothing that they 
could do to prevent it.  The uncertainty and helplessness was chilling, but 
there was nothing they could do but wait.  So Sara waited, hoped, worried, 
wished, and grew increasingly anxious as each moment slipped by.  There was 
nothing else she could do. 

Once again Sara’s attention was brought back to the Bridge of the Banshee. It 
was Andros. He was coming out of the ready room. When had he left? How long 
had he been gone? How long had she been sitting there? She didn’t know, it 
could have been seconds, minutes or even hours. Everything had given way to 
her thoughts. Sara suddenly felt exhausted, but she knew she would never be 
able to sleep. So she sat there, glaring at Cardassia, cursing it‘s very 
existence, anticipating the moments that would come when everyone was home 
again. A wicked little grin tugged at her lips as she thought about Cyanah’s 
homecoming and she decided that until this was over, that’s what she would 
focus on. 

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