<USS Banshee> Insecurities vs. Friendship

  • From: "angelserene@xxxxxxxx" <angelserene@xxxxxxxx>
  • To: ussbanshee@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • Date: Thu, 10 Feb 2005 05:12:09 GMT

Insecurities vs. Friendship
By Lt Commander Sara Kaelyre & Lt Telsia Ehling

Telsia frowned and looked at the ground.  Her not trusting Josh did say a lot 
but she was wondering if it said a lot about herself or a lot about Josh.  ?I?m 
really worried about Josh and I, Sara, what do I do?? She felt desperate and 

Moving out from behind her desk, Sara motioned towards the couch in her office. 
She was in a really odd place at the moment. A friend was opening up to her 
about her relationship, seeking advice and a shoulder to cry on. The problem is 
that her friends was engaged and having problems with one of her Ex?s.  

"I can?t tell you what you should do, Tel. I can tell you that one of the 
things I?ve learned over the past three years with Cyanah is that a strong 
foundation in any relationship can?t just be made of only love, there has to be 
trust as well."

?To be honest, I?m scared to trust,? Tel followed Sara to the couch and sat 
down.  ?What if he leaves me again Sara?  I couldn?t handle that, it nearly 
killed me the first time to watch him go and know I was pregnant with his 
child, I couldn?t bear it if he left again because this time he knows about his 
son and his son knows him.?  Leaning forward, she rested her head in her hands. 
 ?I?m so full of fears and ?what ifs? I feel some days like I just can?t 
function because of them.?

"Wanna know what else I figured out?" Sara asked as she looked over at her 
friend. She got a very slight nod. "You have to have a pretty good level of 
security and trust in yourself before you can have those things with your 
partner, Tel. I had to do a lot of growing up in the beginning before my 
relationship could go away where. I needed to get past at lot of insecurities." 
Sara laughed lightly. "Not that I?m completely without insecurities."  

Telsia laughed lightly along with Sara, everything she was saying was making 
sense.  A lot of insecurities had been built up in Tel, due to her many 
dysfunctional relationships, like the one with her mom, her first one with 
Josh, her husband Eric and now her new relationship with Josh.  It was time for 
Telsia to grow up and she knew that, she could no longer rely on other people 
to handle her insecurities; she needed to do it herself.  ?What your saying 
makes sense, I think I need to do some spring cleaning of the soul and get rid 
of some of these nasty insecurities and bricks.?

Sara nodded. She glad she was helping. She didn?t like seeing her friends 
upset. "You?ll find that once your ok with yourself it?ll be easier to deal 
with things in between you and Josh. Though it?s still going to be difficult. I 
mean I had a hard time going to Cy with some of my resent fears."

?Wait, I need to go to Josh with this stuff?? Tel asked, suddenly feeling some 

"There?s a reason they call it sharing your life with someone." Sara said 
softly. "You should feel comfortable enough to open up to them, but you have to 
be comfortable with yourself first." Sara bit her lip a little as she tried to 
think. "I know that can be a scary thing, Tel, sometimes it takes a little push 
from Cy to get me to open up, but the important thing is that I can. I trust 
her completely with everything I am, and that can be a very hard and variable 

Tel nodded but she was still feeling very unsure about talking to Josh, he 
always seemed so stressed and busy and anytime she tired to talk, it seemed 
like he would brush her off or wouldn?t want to listen. So Telsia had gotten 
into the pattern of keeping things inside.  ?I guess I could try and talk to 
him, I?m just going to try to catch him on a good day but I will make an 

Sara bit her lip a little harder before replying. "Tel. If you wait until you 
find a ?good day? your going to be waiting a while, and that won?t help you 
feel less unhappy."

For a moment, Telsia wondered how Sara got to be so smart but then she nodded 
and knew that she really did just need to listen to her and talk to Josh, that 
would be the only way for her to ever find true happiness.  ?Okay Sara, I?ll 
stop making excuses not to do it and I?ll just do it,? Tel smiled at her 
friend, glad that they had been able to create an open and honest friendship.

"Once you start to feel stronger about yourself, Tel, you?ll see how much 
stronger you can be with the person your planning on spending the fifty plus 
years with." Sara said as she looked at Tel with a warm smile. "Had to learn 
that myself.. Still learning..."

It felt good to know that someone else had been in her place before and was 
still going through it in some form.  ?Thanks for listening and giving me some 
advice Sara, I really needed it.?

Sara smiled. "It?s what friends are for, Tel."

Tel smiled back, ?yeah, I?m still getting used to that idea to,? she laughed 
slightly, ?But I think it?s worth getting used to.?

"It?s most certain worth it." Sara replied. "Why don?t you go a head and head 
out for the night. Go do something for yourself before picking up Cam."

A small, secretive smile played across Tel?s lips as she thought of what she 
would do.  ?Okay, thank you Sara, I promise to come back to work tomorrow very 
refreshed and my normal self.?

Sara laughed. "Good, then maybe we can throw everyone off again by both of us 
coming in in good moods... Goodnight Tel."

Tel left Sara?s office, laughing to herself at Sara?s joke and with the feeling 
that tomorrow would be a better day.

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