<USS Banshee> "Courageous Confession"

  • From: "Sarah Stewart" <cyanahkaelyre@xxxxxxxxxxx>
  • To: <ussbanshee@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • Date: Thu, 23 Oct 2003 19:08:30 -0700

"Courageous Confession"

by Lieutenant Sara Crusher

and Lieutenant JG Cyanah Kaelyre


Dinner had been rather quiet. Quieter than normal, in fact, and unusually
one sided. Sara's thoughts seemed to be elsewhere as she tried to keep up
with the conversation. She'd managed to talk about the new nurse, and about
her brother getting back to Earth safely, but for the most part it was a few
words here and there.  

As she cleared the table, she listened to Cyanah talk about the trip to
Delos, seemingly unable to stop smiling as she did. It had been a long time
since Sara had heard that tone in Cyanah's voice, and she would have been
content to just stand there and listen to her, even if she hadn't been
trying to keep up her nerve all evening.  

            After the table was clear, the two women sat down on the couch,
with Cyanah laying her head on Sara's shoulder. A few minutes of comfortable
silence later, Cyanah realized that she'd been doing most of the talking all
evening, monopolizing the conversation with all the things she wanted to
show Sara on Delos. "Oh, love, I just realized that I haven't shut up all
evening," she said, lifting her head to look Sara in the eyes. "What's on
your mind? I'll be quiet."

"I like hearing about all your plans for our trip," Sara said with a smile
as she weaved her fingers though the ends of Cyanah's hair. Cyanah's
question still lingered between them. What was on her mind? The answer was
obvious since she'd been thinking about ways to bring up the topic ever
since she told Cyanah she wanted to talk to her that afternoon. Sara, who
was never good at getting right to the point, closed her eyes a moment and
then smiled again when Cyanah put her head back on her shoulder. "Cy," she
finally said quietly, "Do you ever wonder about us?" 

Cyanah really hadn't done much thinking on the subject lately. She was
content in the relationship and felt secure with Sara. "What's to wonder
about, love? Everything seems wonderful to me."

Sara nodded her head. Things were wonderful between them. She wasn't
exaggerating when she told Joe she'd never been happier with her life
before, which is why she'd been thinking more about what's to come next for
them. Sara shrugged a little. "I guess I've just be spending too much time
daydreaming lately."

"Daydreaming? About what?" Sara obviously had something important on her
mind, and now that she was aware of it, Cyanah could feel trepidation from
her over their bond.

"This and that," Sara said as she wrapped a strand of Cyanah's hair around
her finger. Then she started chewing on her bottom lip before adding, "You
and me, mostly." 

"What about you and me? You know you can tell me anything, dear." She
reached out with her mind and reassuringly brushed Sara's.

Closing her eyes and sighing a little, Sara took the moment to enjoy feeling
Cyanah's presence in her mind. Along with the reassurance, Sara could also
feel something else, a strong sense of contentment and security. Now it was
time for her to start debating with herself, continue with where the
conversation was going or start backing out before she blows everything

The stillness between them had finally caught up to her and Sara decided to
lighten the mood and play off the conversation. She chuckled a bit. "Just
silly fantasies about where we might be year from now, or five."

Cyanah could tell that Sara was trying to paint her serious desires as silly
fantasies, for fear of having them dismissed as stupid. In reality, Cyanah
would never do that, but instead proceeded to get Sara to confess. "Tell me
your fantasies, then, no matter how silly you might consider them to be."

At first a wickedly mischievous grin crossed her face, but then Sara decided
that she was the one that had opened this can of worms, and that she'd
better stay on track. Those fantasies would just have to wait for a
conversation of their own. "They're just, I don't know, how things might be
if we, you know, took the next step." 

Cyanah furrowed her brow in thought. In Delosian terms, that really had no
meaning for her at this point in a relationship. "The next step? Just to
make sure we're not on opposite sides of a cultural divide, what do you
consider that to be?"

Sara opened and closed her mouth several times trying to say what she was
trying to get at. Then she sighed again, only deeper then she had all
evening. Time to get to the point, she told herself. "Cy," she said again
softly, "would you ever, I don't know, consider. us getting. married?"

Cyanah blinked once in surprise, having never thought about the idea before.
Delosian  courtships went on for years before an engagement would take
place, and given their long lifespan, the society as a whole tended to move
slowly. That wouldn't be fair to Sara, and now that she thought about it,
she could see why shorter-lived races would want to get on with marriage.
After a few moments of shock and thought, Cyanah finally answered, "Yes! Of
course!" and threw her arms around Sara.

Her arms held tightly to Cyanah as her mind still processed what they'd both
just said. Sara blinked several times as the last thirty seconds replayed in
her mind. Had she just?... Did Cy just?... Were they?... "Did you just say
you'd marry me?"

"Of course I did, love!" Cyanah kissed Sara full on the lips for a long
moment, then figured that Sara would need a moment to breathe, so she leaned
back and smiled.

Sara wasn't quite sure what to do next. She sat there looking at Cyanah
smiling at her and knowing that she was smiling back just as brightly. In a
split second she'd gotten more then she'd ever expected to get when told
Cyanah she'd wanted to talk. She hadn't gotten the, "Sure, I'd think about
it," that she was expecting; she'd gotten the full, "yes!" 

Her mind raced for words, actions, something to do besides sit there smiling
and blinking. Then it hit it almost as hard as Cyanah's answer. Sara bolted
from the couch and headed for the bedroom but turned in the doorway. "Don't
move. I have something for you." Then she disappeared though the door.

Sitting on the couch looking at the doorway where Sara was a second ago,
Cyanah let her mind wander for a few moments to her family's reaction to all
of this. Sure, she was young by Delosian standards to marry, but from
everything she'd sent home about how wonderful Sara was, there could be no
way they'd object. She waited, listening to rummaging sounds coming from the
bedroom, and thought.

Sara sat on the edge of the bed with her hands wrapped around something as
stared out the window above the bed. She wasn't sure what she was waiting
for, but it was a few seconds longer before she walked back into the living
room and sat next to Cyanah. "I was going to give this to you as a gift once
we got to Delos, but I think this is the kind of moment it was meant for."
Sara bit her bottom lip hard as she extended her hand, a small box resting
in her palm.

Watching Cyanah open the box caused Sara to stop breathing. She bit harder
on her lip as she saw her looking down at the brightest blue sapphire ever
to be set into platinum. It wasn't until Sara saw Cyanah's eyes outsparkle
the small diamonds that where also set into the elegant Edwardian-style
ring, that Sara finally took another breath. She smiled faintly before
saying, almost in a whisper, "It was my grandmother's."

The sparkle in Cyanah's eyes was from tears of joy; nevertheless, she felt
that she could never accept such a precious heirloom. "No, I can't." were
the first words she'd managed to speak since opening the ring. "It's too
much, and was your grandmother's." She looked at Sara, unable to say
anything else as a wayward tear found its way down her cheek.

"It was given to me by my grandmother and now I want you to have it." Sara
reached out and brushed the tear from Cyanah's cheek. Then she smiled as she
took the ring from the box and held it in one hand, and Cyanah's hand in the
other. "It's been sitting in a safe in St. Petersburg waiting for me to
claim it since my twenty-first birthday, so when I finally called my
grandmother and asked her to send it to me, she asked why I was asking for
it. I told her that I planned on giving it to you.  

"That's when she told me the first time the ring was given it was given
between lovers, and then wished us as happy a life as her great-grandparents
had lived. So see, it's alright for you to take it, Cy. It's not only a gift
'cause I happen to love you, but also a blessing in a way."

Cyanah nodded and smiled through her tears as Sara placed the ring on her
finger. "It's the most beautiful ring I've ever seen, Sara," she said, her
voice still broken. "And it means more than anything I've ever had. thank

The tears fell freely from Sara's eyes as well as looked from the ring to
Cyanah's face, then to her eyes. "You're welcome," was the only thing she
could think of saying before leaning in and softly kissing Cyanah. The kiss
grew more intense as the moments passed, and before long, the celebration of
their engagement moved from the couch into the bedroom.

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