<USS Banshee> "Closure to Crisis"
- From: "Brad Ruder" <GroundZero@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: ussbanshee@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Mon, 14 Oct 2002 18:12:27 -0700
?Closure to Crisis?
by Lieutenant Joshua
& Lieutenant Sara Crusher
Commander Andros had all but outright
ordered Sara to get some rest. So now that's what she was trying to
do, but to no avail. She lied in her bed wide awake, tossing and
turning. No matter what she did she couldn?t fall asleep. The room
was too quiet and too dark she complained, so she turned up the
lights and turned on a music program. But that's not why she
couldn't sleep. She knew that it was because of her nerves and
because this would have been the first time in over a week she'd be
sleeping alone. It seemed silly, but in that short span of time she
had gotten use to having someone next to her; having Cyanah next to
her. She liked the feeling of playing with Cy's hair until she fell
Sara sat up and walked into her bathroom. A few
minutes later a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt had replaced her silk
nightgown. She headed out the door and down the hall. She soon
found herself sitting alone in the Down Under Lounge picking at an
ice cream sundae.
Josh walked out of the turbolift and down
the hallway on deck three. The night had been a little more busy
than usual and his strained eyes and aching legs were the product of
his intense dedication towards finding out who had accessed the files
in the Banshee's main computer core. His gaze shifted from the floor
- which was the only thing that proved soothing to his eyes - to the
clamor up ahead. He stepped into Three Forward and was almost
knocked over when the catastrophic sounds of people shuffling about,
socializing, and having a grand old time hit him like a quantum
Josh stumbled backward and retraced his steps back
down the hallway to the turbolift. "Down Under Lounge." Josh leaned
against the turbolift wall as it zoomed through the bowels of the
ship and finally came to a shuddering halt on his desired deck.
Stepping into the hallway into a quieter atmosphere he set towards
the cleverly hidden and often unused lounge. The doors swished open
and the soft candlelight illuminated the hallway directly outside.
Josh stepped and looked around, his gaze eventually landing on Sara
He resisted the temptation to leave the lounge at
that moment and turned towards her location across the lounge in a
corner. Josh walked casually over to her, but didn't sit. "Is this
Sara looked up at Josh and smiled. "Nope, it's
free." She said softly. She had picked the Down Under Lounge because
she knew it would be empty. She had thought that she had wanted to
be alone, but at that moment she wanted nothing more then for Josh to
sit with her. "Please join me." She offered as she saw him still
standing by the chair.
Josh nodded, "I came down here because
Three Forward was as full as a Ferengi Casino Barge. I needed some
piece and quiet. What's up, why are you in solitude down here?"
Josh shifted into the seat and clasped his hands on the table in
front of him. Sara had something troubling her, his limited
involvement with her empathy made him feel that from the moment that
he sat down. He didn't want to bring it up; it would be better if
she did the honors.
"I couldn't sleep." She told him as she
played with the melting ice cream. "I thought that if I came down
here to get a bit to eat it would help. But it's hasn't." She wasn't
sure how much to tell him. It was after all a bit weird to be talking
to him about things, certain things anyway. Sara sighed deeply and
pushed her bowl away. "Was there any word from the away team before
"Last thing I heard was that they were on their
way to the conference on the planet's surface." Josh looked at the
melted ice cream and remembered their first date. He sighed and
looked into her eyes. "I'm sorry. Is there anything that I can do?"
Josh wasn't in the mood for nostalgia, but he figured that he would
go down that road if he had to.
Sara shook her head. "No.
There's nothing anyone can do. It's been a crazy few weeks and I'm
just crashing from the emotions and everything." She told him. "It's
been a hell of a roller coaster ride." She smiled a bit as she
thought a bit about everything. Even with everything that's
happened, all the changes in her life there was a bright spot to it
all. Too bad she was on the planet. Sara suddenly thought of
something, "Josh, I owe you an apology."
Josh shook his head
before Sara could get anything out. "Sara, you don't owe me an
apology. I blew up and didn't even think about your feelings.
Basically, I was selfish and didn't want to share you. Who would?"
Josh smiled and handed the empty plate to the passing waiter. "If
anyone should be apologizing it is me."
A faint blush colored
Sara's checks as she smiled at him. "I didn't mean to hurt you, Josh.
And I did, and I'm sorry." She began as she turned in her chair to
face him. "I really do care about you but I guess faith had other
plans for us."
Josh looked down as the unbearable force of
realizing that Sara was perpetually out of his reach. He realized
that Sara, with her empathic abilities, would see his grief but he
didn't care. "I guess so. I hope that we can continue to be
friends, at least, I would hate to lose such a valuable and loving
Josh felt unable to do anything but sit there. His
mind simply wandered into the unknown. There was no structure, no
basis, and no path for him to follow. He felt an emptiness that
couldn?t be described in words, actions, or emotions. It had laid
him flat on the ground and he was unsure of how to proceed. For now,
Sara reached out and took Josh's hand. She could
feel how badly he was hurting, but she knew it would be unfair to
string him along. They sat there in silence for a long time, Sara
never taking her hand back. Finally she looked at him. "I love you
Josh and that's not going to change. I want you in my life as long as
you want to be. But it'll be up to you." She told him. "Our
relationship is changing not ending. Or at least that's what I
hope." Sara hoped that at least some of what she was trying to say
was helping and not making things worse.
Josh smiled even
though he felt as if a dagger had been plunged into his stomach,
turned a bit, and then pushed through the other side. "I'll be apart
of it, Sara." Josh was unsure how serious and truthful he was being
for the fact that his feelings for her had been severely tested as of
late. His actions with Heather earlier that day had somewhat
troubled him. "This is going to make me a big brother sort of
figure, isn't it?" Josh smiled and laughed as he tried to ease the
moment with a joke of sorts.
The look in Josh's eyes seemed
familiar to Sara and then when Josh made the joke about being a big
brother type it hit her like a ton of bricks. She had seen the same
look Tony's eyes when they had had a similar conversation. It was
then that Sara realized that any romantic relationship she had had
with Josh was truly over, and she really did belong to only one
person now. "Ya know being my brother isn't such a bad thing, just
ask Matt." She teased trying to lighten the mood.
staring into her eyes Josh became serious. "If you ever need
anything, Sara, you know that you can come to me. I'll be here until
the day that I die to help you." Josh wanted to be apart of Sara's
life, even if was only in a brotherly sort of manner. He smiled as
he pulled his hand back. "I will admit though, I'll miss our dates.
We had some good times."
Sara smiled and nodded. " Yes we did.
That shuttle trip will always be special to me." She said holding
back tears. "And we don't have to stop hanging out, unless you'd
think it was weird."
Josh himself remembered the solar event
that they had witnessed in each other's arms. His mind flashed back
to his father and mother for a second, but he managed to pull it back
to the conversation at hand. "No, we can still hang
"Good." She said with a smile. "Cause I never did get to
kick your butt at kick boxing." She teased. She had caught the sudden
flash of emotion and could tell she didn?t cause it. She wondered if
she should ask, but Josh was never one to talk about his feelings.
Sara waved down the waiter and ordered some tea.
what, Doc, I'll trash you. Don't make me beat a woman, I'm not above
it if you bring it first. Anytime, any place, and any condition,
I'll take you." Josh smiled and ordered a drink.
laughed. "Bring it on Pretty Boy!" The two sat and talked for a while
longer before Sara started yawning. Josh walked her to the turbo
lift and she gave him a kiss on the check before the doors hissed
closed. A few minutes later Sara was crawling back into bed, and
this time she actually feel asleep since at least one of her life
crises was settled.
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