<USS Banshee> An Imtimat Moment

  • From: EnsnSaraCrusher@xxxxxxx
  • To: ussbanshee@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • Date: Wed, 26 Jun 2002 17:55:09 EDT

An Intimate Moment 
By: Ensign Sara Crusher and Ensign Anthony D'Vorak

Anthony walked around sickbay a very somber fellow. His eyes kept wandering 
to Sara. She lied on the bio bed so still and so weak. Her heart had already 
stopped once, which in turn made Anthony’s stop as well. He watched as her 
chest rose and fell very slowly. He glanced at her monitors and could see how 
each breath was a struggle for her. This in a way made Anthony fell a bit 
better cause he knew this meant she was fighting.   He walked up and brushed 
a strand of her long red hair from her face. He stood next to her wondering 
what she was thinking, what she was feeling, if she knew that they were 
there. Though the evening she had had someone with her at all times. Josh 
hovered, Cyanah sat and talked to her, Terje explained a new enzyme treatment 
that they would be using soon to treat a number of different illness, and 
Anthony, Anthony was just there. He wondered if she could hear the thoughts 
or sense the emotions of her friends.  Anthony was working late and didn’t 
want to leave Sara till Terje got back from dinner so he decided to look for 
some new articles to read. 

He walked into Terje's office to look at some of the pads for the new  one on 
"Klingon Aquatic Mammals" when by accident he stumbled upon something with 
the title "Dear Mother" With Sara‘s name under it. Anthony picked it up with 
a great deal of hesitation. He stood and looked at the PADD for a long time 
as he held it in hand. He decided to attempt to access the locked padd. Lucky 
for Anthony, Sara was predictable, she used the same code she uses for just 
about anything else. Her Ant Bev's birthday. Anthony quickly punched in 
10132324 accessing the letter with no trouble and was absolutely astonished 
by what he read.

Dear Mother, 

If your reading this, then I have died. I know this is going to be hard on 
you, and I am so sorry. I want you to know that I died doing what I loved. 
Being a doctor, an officer, a friend. Please don’t be sad for long Mother. I 
had a good life, and please know that I am not afraid of dying. I’m not going 
to lie to you. I wish I wasn’t. I wish I had more time to do things that I 
have only dreamed of doing. But it was my time. I want you  to know that I am 
right now with people who love me. Anthony is here and so is Josh. Dr. Terje 
has worked so hard to find a cure, but I was so sick for so long. He’s helped 
me to be as comfortable as passable and he was a great man to learn from. 

There are so many things I want to say to so many people, Mother. But I only 
have time to write one letter. And I know what ever I ask of you, you will 
do. So here it goes. Please give Anthony the wooden box that I have under my 
bed. When they clean out my quarters they will send it to you. Unless you 
come to the Banshee for my... Wow didn’t think I would have to say this word 
for a long time... My funeral. Oh how I hate the idea of being shot into 
space. So cold, so alone, that’s what scares me. 

Anthony sat down in Terje's chair and absorbed the letter. "I wonder what’s 
in that wooden box she wants her mom to give me" he said to himself. He had 
absolutely no idea what it could be. He wasn't surprised that at the time 
when Sara would be near death, the person she most wanted to send a letter to 
would be her mother. The emotions she must have been feeling at the time torn 
his soul in two, but he couldn’t stop now. Anthony read further. 

Any way Mother back to Anthony. He has been my best friend for so long. I 
know you two have crossed swords but I do believe that he and I share a part 
of the other’s soul. That’s why I know that this will devastate him, and I 
am really afraid of what he might do. Please look after him Mother, I have 
become his only family. He’s going to blame himself for not curing me. He’s 
going to say it’s all his fault and then blame Josh for the rest. Make sure 
he knows I love him, and that it’s not his or Josh’s fault. 

"Why would she be worried about what I'd do?" Anthony sat in the chair 
glaring at the PADD. Then he thought of where he had been only a few hours 
before. His head dropped as he realized she was right to be worried about 
what he would do. "She’s in there fighting for her life and all I could think 
about a few hours ago was smashing Josh’s skull in." He said out loud he 
shook his head in disapproval of his actions. He had let his anger get the 
best of him and he hated that. He stared at the wall for several minutes 
before his thoughts started wrapping around something else he had read. He 
thought about her out there in that bed. "If she dies it WILL be my fault. I 
should have been more careful, I should have worked harder and faster! I 
should have been the one on that damned away team! I will never be able to 
live with myself if she doesn’t pull out of this." Anthony looked back down 
at the letter. 

Josh. So many possibilities there, wasted, gone before we had a chance to do 
anything. And no I don’t mean just that either. 

Anthony could not help but stop and smile at her sense of humor. It was one 
of the things he loved the most about her. Again he looked back at the 
letter, not really wanting to read the next part. But for some reason he felt 
he had too. 

 Mother, do you remember telling me as a little  girl how I would feel as if 
my world was in a massive wind storm when I fell in love. I think that’s how 
I feel. I’m not sure though. It’s so weird the emotions. His and mine. I 
want you to give him my gold ring, the one from Betazed. And before you start 
huffing and puffing, Grandmother said to give it to the young man who would 
steal my heart. And he almost had it. He will also blame himself. If he’s 
made it and I haven’t, it’s going to take him down. He doesn’t handle 
very well. He still struggles with his father’s death. He still holds on to 
so much anger and this will only add to it. I’m worried about him. 

Anthony’s eyes widened "Fell in love??" "Stole her heart" He realized that he 
shouldn’t worry about these things but he couldn’t help it. The feelings he 
felt for Sara were stronger than anything, reading this nearly broke his 
heart. But something deep in side him told him to reread a part of the letter 
from before. He smiled at the line written so beautifully in her hand 
writing. "He and I share a part of each other’s soul." A single tear fell 
from his eye, he brushed it away as he looked around to make sure no on was 
watching. He then turned back to her thoughts. 

Tell Mattie that I love him and that he was the best big brother. He was so 
proud the day I graduated from the Academy. He told everyone we passed that I 
was his baby sister. Give Mattie my pip and my class ring. Tell Daddy that he 
was the first man I ever loved, give him the crystal I keep under my pillow. 
Tell him that it will watch over him for me. My tap shoes and my antique  
medical  bag go to Aunt Bev. Let her be there for you as I know  you will  be 
for her. And tell her that I said thank you for being,  well thank her for 
allowing me to be her shadow. She’ll understand.  As for the rest of my stuff 
I have a will made out. It’s in my personal files under Crusher File 67382. 

He read through the parts about her family. He knew how much they meant to 
her, especially her Aunt Bev. Her aunt was her #1 inspiration, not only in 
being a doctor but in being a person. She held her Aunt’s strength and 
ability to handle this kind of life with all of it’s rewards and it’s down 
falls as a goal, an anchor which she uses to survive. 

I haven’t forgotten you, Mother. There is a small sliver box in my hope chest 
in my room. That is for you. I don’t need to explain because when you see it, 
you will understand. I do want to say one thing though. I want you to know 
how proud I am to be your daughter. I don’t think I have ever said that 
before. And I want to thank you for the sacrifices you made for me. Do you 
know what I miss the most in all the world. Walking with you in the rose 
garden, so that is where I’ll be. When you think of me, think of me there. 
When ever you need to talk, I’ll be there. When ever you need to feel my 
love, that’s were it will be. 

It was no surprise to him that her mother was foremost on her mind. He had 
seen them together. He had seen first hand the love, the caring, the concern, 
the anger, the fights. He had heard the words she wished she had never said 
in the heat of the moment and he had seen the embrace when she went home a 
week later. He knew first hand of the passion and emotion these two women 
were capable of. Anthony never got along well with Sara's mother but she saw 
his promise as a young doctor and an officer and she pushed him to become 

I have to go now Mother. I am so tired I need to sleep now. I love you 
Mother, always and forever.

Your Daughter.

Anthony wiped away the tears from his eyes. He realized how close he is to 
losing her, and how fragile life is. He was going to attempt to own every 
moment from this day forth. Anthony was startled when a nurse entered the 
office. "Anthony, We have a small boy with a broken arm in the next room, I 
thought you might like to take a look at it." He looked up at her and nodded 
his head. "I'll be right there" He said. He re-sealed the letter, set it down 
where he found it, and went out to see the little boy. He looked over at Sara 
as he walked passed her. "It’s time to wake up Tribble you’ve had enough 
beauty sleep." He thought to himself, just in case she could hear him. 

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