An Intimate Moment By: Ensign Sara Crusher and Ensign Anthony D'Vorak Anthony walked around sickbay a very somber fellow. His eyes kept wandering to Sara. She lied on the bio bed so still and so weak. Her heart had already stopped once, which in turn made Anthony’s stop as well. He watched as her chest rose and fell very slowly. He glanced at her monitors and could see how each breath was a struggle for her. This in a way made Anthony fell a bit better cause he knew this meant she was fighting. He walked up and brushed a strand of her long red hair from her face. He stood next to her wondering what she was thinking, what she was feeling, if she knew that they were there. Though the evening she had had someone with her at all times. Josh hovered, Cyanah sat and talked to her, Terje explained a new enzyme treatment that they would be using soon to treat a number of different illness, and Anthony, Anthony was just there. He wondered if she could hear the thoughts or sense the emotions of her friends. Anthony was working late and didn’t want to leave Sara till Terje got back from dinner so he decided to look for some new articles to read. He walked into Terje's office to look at some of the pads for the new one on "Klingon Aquatic Mammals" when by accident he stumbled upon something with the title "Dear Mother" With Sara‘s name under it. Anthony picked it up with a great deal of hesitation. He stood and looked at the PADD for a long time as he held it in hand. He decided to attempt to access the locked padd. Lucky for Anthony, Sara was predictable, she used the same code she uses for just about anything else. Her Ant Bev's birthday. Anthony quickly punched in 10132324 accessing the letter with no trouble and was absolutely astonished by what he read. Dear Mother, If your reading this, then I have died. I know this is going to be hard on you, and I am so sorry. I want you to know that I died doing what I loved. Being a doctor, an officer, a friend. Please don’t be sad for long Mother. I had a good life, and please know that I am not afraid of dying. I’m not going to lie to you. I wish I wasn’t. I wish I had more time to do things that I have only dreamed of doing. But it was my time. I want you to know that I am right now with people who love me. Anthony is here and so is Josh. Dr. Terje has worked so hard to find a cure, but I was so sick for so long. He’s helped me to be as comfortable as passable and he was a great man to learn from. There are so many things I want to say to so many people, Mother. But I only have time to write one letter. And I know what ever I ask of you, you will do. So here it goes. Please give Anthony the wooden box that I have under my bed. When they clean out my quarters they will send it to you. Unless you come to the Banshee for my... Wow didn’t think I would have to say this word for a long time... My funeral. Oh how I hate the idea of being shot into space. So cold, so alone, that’s what scares me. Anthony sat down in Terje's chair and absorbed the letter. "I wonder what’s in that wooden box she wants her mom to give me" he said to himself. He had absolutely no idea what it could be. He wasn't surprised that at the time when Sara would be near death, the person she most wanted to send a letter to would be her mother. The emotions she must have been feeling at the time torn his soul in two, but he couldn’t stop now. Anthony read further. Any way Mother back to Anthony. He has been my best friend for so long. I know you two have crossed swords but I do believe that he and I share a part of the other’s soul. That’s why I know that this will devastate him, and I am really afraid of what he might do. Please look after him Mother, I have become his only family. He’s going to blame himself for not curing me. He’s going to say it’s all his fault and then blame Josh for the rest. Make sure he knows I love him, and that it’s not his or Josh’s fault. "Why would she be worried about what I'd do?" Anthony sat in the chair glaring at the PADD. Then he thought of where he had been only a few hours before. His head dropped as he realized she was right to be worried about what he would do. "She’s in there fighting for her life and all I could think about a few hours ago was smashing Josh’s skull in." He said out loud he shook his head in disapproval of his actions. He had let his anger get the best of him and he hated that. He stared at the wall for several minutes before his thoughts started wrapping around something else he had read. He thought about her out there in that bed. "If she dies it WILL be my fault. I should have been more careful, I should have worked harder and faster! I should have been the one on that damned away team! I will never be able to live with myself if she doesn’t pull out of this." Anthony looked back down at the letter. Josh. So many possibilities there, wasted, gone before we had a chance to do anything. And no I don’t mean just that either. Anthony could not help but stop and smile at her sense of humor. It was one of the things he loved the most about her. Again he looked back at the letter, not really wanting to read the next part. But for some reason he felt he had too. Mother, do you remember telling me as a little girl how I would feel as if my world was in a massive wind storm when I fell in love. I think that’s how I feel. I’m not sure though. It’s so weird the emotions. His and mine. I want you to give him my gold ring, the one from Betazed. And before you start huffing and puffing, Grandmother said to give it to the young man who would steal my heart. And he almost had it. He will also blame himself. If he’s made it and I haven’t, it’s going to take him down. He doesn’t handle lose very well. He still struggles with his father’s death. He still holds on to so much anger and this will only add to it. I’m worried about him. Anthony’s eyes widened "Fell in love??" "Stole her heart" He realized that he shouldn’t worry about these things but he couldn’t help it. The feelings he felt for Sara were stronger than anything, reading this nearly broke his heart. But something deep in side him told him to reread a part of the letter from before. He smiled at the line written so beautifully in her hand writing. "He and I share a part of each other’s soul." A single tear fell from his eye, he brushed it away as he looked around to make sure no on was watching. He then turned back to her thoughts. Tell Mattie that I love him and that he was the best big brother. He was so proud the day I graduated from the Academy. He told everyone we passed that I was his baby sister. Give Mattie my pip and my class ring. Tell Daddy that he was the first man I ever loved, give him the crystal I keep under my pillow. Tell him that it will watch over him for me. My tap shoes and my antique medical bag go to Aunt Bev. Let her be there for you as I know you will be for her. And tell her that I said thank you for being, well thank her for allowing me to be her shadow. She’ll understand. As for the rest of my stuff I have a will made out. It’s in my personal files under Crusher File 67382. He read through the parts about her family. He knew how much they meant to her, especially her Aunt Bev. Her aunt was her #1 inspiration, not only in being a doctor but in being a person. She held her Aunt’s strength and ability to handle this kind of life with all of it’s rewards and it’s down falls as a goal, an anchor which she uses to survive. I haven’t forgotten you, Mother. There is a small sliver box in my hope chest in my room. That is for you. I don’t need to explain because when you see it, you will understand. I do want to say one thing though. I want you to know how proud I am to be your daughter. I don’t think I have ever said that before. And I want to thank you for the sacrifices you made for me. Do you know what I miss the most in all the world. Walking with you in the rose garden, so that is where I’ll be. When you think of me, think of me there. When ever you need to talk, I’ll be there. When ever you need to feel my love, that’s were it will be. It was no surprise to him that her mother was foremost on her mind. He had seen them together. He had seen first hand the love, the caring, the concern, the anger, the fights. He had heard the words she wished she had never said in the heat of the moment and he had seen the embrace when she went home a week later. He knew first hand of the passion and emotion these two women were capable of. Anthony never got along well with Sara's mother but she saw his promise as a young doctor and an officer and she pushed him to become better. I have to go now Mother. I am so tired I need to sleep now. I love you Mother, always and forever. Your Daughter. Sara Anthony wiped away the tears from his eyes. He realized how close he is to losing her, and how fragile life is. He was going to attempt to own every moment from this day forth. Anthony was startled when a nurse entered the office. "Anthony, We have a small boy with a broken arm in the next room, I thought you might like to take a look at it." He looked up at her and nodded his head. "I'll be right there" He said. He re-sealed the letter, set it down where he found it, and went out to see the little boy. He looked over at Sara as he walked passed her. "It’s time to wake up Tribble you’ve had enough beauty sleep." He thought to himself, just in case she could hear him.