[triadtechtalk] Re: OT Friday

  • From: "cabehogan" <cabehogan@xxxxxxxxxxx>
  • To: <triadtechtalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • Date: Fri, 20 Sep 2002 06:19:55 -0500

Yup, that's me and bears repeatin', a Yankee scholar and a Southern
gentleman, which translated means a northern born child wot dun been down
south fer a loooooong spell!


>  Only a true Southerner knows....
> *Only a true Southerner knows the difference between a
> hissie fit and a conniption and that you don't "have"
> them, but "pitch" them.
> * Nobody but a true Southerner knows how many fish,
> collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc. make
> up a mess.
> * A true Southerner can show or point out to you the
> general direction of "yonder."
> * A true Southerner knows exactly how long "directly"
> is - as in "Going to town, be back directly."
> * Even true Southern babies know that "Gimme some
> sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet
> substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the
> middle of the table.
> * All true Southerners know exactly when "by and by"
> is. They might not use the term, but they know the
> concept well.
> * True Southerners know instinctively that the best
> gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a
> plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold
> potato salad. (If the trouble is a real crisis, they
> also know to add a large banana puddin'.)
> * True Southerners grow up knowing the difference
> between "right near" and "a right far piece." They know
> that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
> * True Southerners both know and understand the
> differences between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po'
> white trash.
> * No true Southerner would ever assume that the car
> with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make
> a turn.
> * True Southerners know that "fixin" can be used both
> as a noun, verb and adverb.
> * True Southerners make friends standing in lines. We
> don't do "queues," we do "lines." We stand IN them, not
> ON them. And when we're in line, we talk to everybody.
> Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will
> discover they're related, if only by marriage.
> * True Southerners never refer to one person as "y'all."
> * True Southerners know grits come from corn and how to
> eat them.
> * Every true Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs,
> bacon, grits and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that
> redeye gravy is also a breakfast food; that fried green
> tomatoes are not breakfast food.
> * Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet
> tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it - we do
> not like our tea unsweetened; "sweet milk" means you
> don't want buttermilk.
> * And a true Southerner knows you don't scream
> obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 on the
> freeway - you say, "Bless her heart" and go your way.

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