[triadtechtalk] OT Friday
- From: avbsantos@xxxxxxxxxxxx
- To: triadtechtalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Fri, 20 Sep 2002 01:09:23 -0700 (PDT)
Only a true Southerner knows....
*Only a true Southerner knows the difference between a
hissie fit and a conniption and that you don't "have"
them, but "pitch" them.
* Nobody but a true Southerner knows how many fish,
collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc. make
up a mess.
* A true Southerner can show or point out to you the
general direction of "yonder."
* A true Southerner knows exactly how long "directly"
is - as in "Going to town, be back directly."
* Even true Southern babies know that "Gimme some
sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet
substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the
middle of the table.
* All true Southerners know exactly when "by and by"
is. They might not use the term, but they know the
concept well.
* True Southerners know instinctively that the best
gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a
plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold
potato salad. (If the trouble is a real crisis, they
also know to add a large banana puddin'.)
* True Southerners grow up knowing the difference
between "right near" and "a right far piece." They know
that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
* True Southerners both know and understand the
differences between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po'
white trash.
* No true Southerner would ever assume that the car
with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make
a turn.
* True Southerners know that "fixin" can be used both
as a noun, verb and adverb.
* True Southerners make friends standing in lines. We
don't do "queues," we do "lines." We stand IN them, not
ON them. And when we're in line, we talk to everybody.
Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will
discover they're related, if only by marriage.
* True Southerners never refer to one person as "y'all."
* True Southerners know grits come from corn and how to
eat them.
* Every true Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs,
bacon, grits and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that
redeye gravy is also a breakfast food; that fried green
tomatoes are not breakfast food.
* Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet
tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it - we do
not like our tea unsweetened; "sweet milk" means you
don't want buttermilk.
* And a true Southerner knows you don't scream
obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 on the
freeway - you say, "Bless her heart" and go your way.
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