Thank you all for sharing! Much of what you are sharing & asking are
things I have pondered as well. So many thoughts have been running through
my head as I have read your emails...
Pam, I identify with the struggle & the question! I don't have a
completely good answer yet... I am personally wrestling with some of the
things that are important to me but Craig isn't as excited about them as I
am. So...how should I handle them? How can I pursue them or should I not?
Is this part of losing myself in following Christ as a married woman? Or
should I work on incorporating these things into my life again & into
marriage in some way? (But right now I barely have the capacity anyway!)
Carrie, what you said about rest & seasons of life is so good. Much can be
said on these topics! I am slowly learning to rest on God daily - what
good works does He have for me today? When does He have rest for me & what
really needs to be done & what can wait.
Here is one example where these struggles & truths collide in my life right
now: if I cannot be available to my (now extended) family in ways that I
used to be (due to now having a family of my own), can I entrust them to
God's care in my absence? Can I learn to rest in His sovereign grace for
me & them? ...and also learn to replace my presence with them with more
prayer for them.
I was listening to another Titus 2 sermonette... and Nancy made a good
point - to do what is fitting for gospel living according to Titus 2, we
don't need a list of things to work on, the passage says we need Jesus.
This life & way of living flows from the grace of God.
Glad for this! #breathe :)
On Thu, Sep 27, 2018, 7:08 AM Carrie Hub <carriehub060300@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Will continue to pray for you and for Chris, Liz, as you seek to raiseOn Sep 27, 2018 7:08 AM, "Carrie Hub" <carriehub060300@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Ivan. Parenting is so hard! It stretches us at every level and leaves us so
dependent. Praying for wisdom, strength, patience, and endurance as you run
this part of the race.
Along these lines of rest, I have been convicted lately about having a
spirit of Sabbath and taking time to rest. I don't think that I've been
good about laying down what is on my list to take time to rest and admit
that it is God and not me who will accomplish what He wants accomplish. I
don't think we were made to run full-out all the time. Pam, the link you
shared a while back from TGC spoke of times of Sabbath for time in the
Word. That was helpful to me to start getting a grip on Sabbath. I still
don't understand what it all should look like, but I keep reading stuff and
watching in Scripture for references to the type of rest spoken of in the
Pentateuch. There were years of Sabbath, too, which I find interesting. All
these times when you had to take your hands off the controls and trust God
. . .
On Wed, Sep 26, 2018 at 4:51 PM Elizabeth Lovelace <
dmarc-noreply@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
I tend to agree with the "me" time, or finding yourself again, or
whatever you want to call it. It might be limited, but I do think it's
healthy to follow interests when we have time. I know it doesn't apply to
everyone, but for me it's also meant doing things with Alex that we both
enjoy.
I have my photography and have started taking painting/art classes (same
teacher as Alex's Saturday art classes).
Even getting exercise could fall in the "me time" category. I think it
falls under taking time to rest, unwind, and relax. Sometimes it can be
reading a book, going for a walk, doing a hobby we enjoy, or getting
together with friends.
It can look different for everyone.
Speaking of this, my "me" time has greatly decreased suddenly. We decided
to pull Ivan out of school. There were behavioral issues last year, but we
were told it was worse this year. The school told us to find a shadow or he
couldn't go to school. While they were willing to help us find one and
adjust finances to make it happen, we also kept hearing from them that he
was frustrated a lot and unhappy. The lack of verbal communication is a
large source of frustration for him and the school, and he also is a very
strong, physical kid whose first impulse is to push and hit when unhappy
(add to this that the Montessori classroom has kids younger and older than
him all together, so there was the potential for him to seriously hurt
someone). By pulling him out we also have more time at home for speech
exercises, and more time to find him other therapies that could help. He
wouldn't start kindergarten for another two years, so we have some time...
Hoping and praying we can help him move forward here in Oaxaca. If not,
we'll have to figure out the next best option (could mean moving back to
the US.) [image: Emoji]
On Wednesday, September 26, 2018, 12:30:03 PM CDT, Carrie Hub <
carriehub060300@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:
I totally understand what you are saying about "loosing yourself" when
you have a kid. So much has to be shelved. It has been encouraging to me to
see other women who's children are older that are doing a myriad of things.
Recently, I have enjoyed watching the Lindsey's from Northland touring
Great Britain for their 50th anniversary. It reminds me that these days are
not all our days and helps me to pour into the kids what they need now.
Speaking of . . . have to go read.
On Wed, Sep 26, 2018 at 11:35 AM Pamela Smith <
dmarc-noreply@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
It has bothered me a little in the past that we have little in common
outside of faith/ministry and mutual children. He bikes long distances 4
times a week and loves it. He enjoys woodworking and can do electrical
work, and those both scare me. Recently I realized that I have given up a
lot that is "me" for motherhood and through being a supportive wife, and I
think I'm slowly getting that back. I don't know if that makes sense, but I
felt lost for awhile as a person. It's really important to have my identity
rooted in Christ and know that His plan isn't mine, but I need to rest in
it. But, also I need to be who God created me to be and not push aside
gifts and talents He's given, but use them for His glory.
I told Geoff about the session, and he agreed we didn't have much in
common, but it didn't really bother him. He said we're both crafty and if I
have an idea, then he does it, so we're a team. :)
What are your thoughts on "self-care?" I get the saying "we can't pour
from an empty vessel," but at times it feels as if its on the selfish side.
How do you all view that concept?
On Tuesday, September 25, 2018, 1:09:48 PM CDT, Renee O'Leske <
larsen.renee@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Thanks, Sister! :)
On Mon, Sep 24, 2018 at 4:14 PM Carrie Hub <carriehub060300@xxxxxxxxx>
wrote:
Renee, being a good wife and a good mom at the same time is tough! Both
pull so much and honestly need so much depending on the time period. It's
stretching trying to figure it all out. I have found that just admitting
that I'm trying and that I haven't forgotten has helped. :) And as the wee
ones get not so wee and you get to SLEEP again, it can get better. I think
it also helps to know what makes your spouse feel most loved so that you
spend your energy there and not on a lot of stuff that he doesn't care
about. I'm still working on this one. Trying to keep what he cares about on
the list and not shoved in the corner.
I don't think anyone ever fully "figures it out." We just keep
persevering together. Cheering each other on. Comforting and reminding when
we blow it to apologize and than get back out there and try again.
Keep up the good fight, sister!
Carrie
On Mon, Sep 24, 2018 at 9:24 AM Renee O'Leske <larsen.renee@xxxxxxxxx>
wrote:
Thank you all for sharing! Really appreciate it! I appreciate the
encouragement to rest in God and to learn how to love better. I need it.
:)
Liz, I agree with you. I have to rest in God being my everything. Craig
and I will not be all things to each other. We are different. Right now,
with having a little one, watching shows at night once she is down is our
together time. It's kinda fun & nice for this season. I am thankful for
this time we can enjoy together!
Carrie and Bonnie, thank you for sharing your personal thoughts in this
area of loving your husband well. I know there are times when my "list of
responsibilities" as a mother or wife can easily trump just being his
friend... and the same for Kayla. I can be so focused on all these things
I need to do to care for both of them (maybe because it is endless and I am
not the fastest person on the earth, so I am never really "caught up" with
all my work) that I don't pay attention to them in the moment - to listen
to them or just hang out with them and just love them and meet whatever
needs I can in that moment. Anyway, that's where I am at right now... I
appreciate what was said about it being a continual learning process. :)
Thanks, friends!
-Renee
On Thu, Sep 20, 2018 at 8:51 AM James Brabson <thebrabsonfamily@xxxxxxxxx>
wrote:
Pressed send by mistake. James also uses hunting to help deal with the
stress of being a pastor and, like you said Carrie, I can get frustrated
because things at the house "need" to get done and he is out hunting.
James is not a tv watcher, but we have started going to bed earlier and
watching a tv show. Finding something that he is interested in has been a
struggle though :).
Bonnie
On September 20, 2018, at 9:43 AM, James Brabson <
thebrabsonfamily@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Carrie,
I totally get what you are saying. James is big into outdoor stuff too
and sports. I am not! Even eating deer meet or turkey I don't like. I have
learned to cook the meat so the taste is not as strong. I have to be
careful that I show an interest in his hobbies. Like being excited when he
brings a deer or turkey home even though it grosses me out :).
On September 20, 2018, at 8:40 AM, Carrie Hub <carriehub060300@xxxxxxxxx>
wrote:
Definitely true, Liz.
I think this hit harder because Brian and I have gotten to the point that
we don't have much that we can afford to do that we like to do together,
and he keeps inviting me to be involved with him in his outdoor stuff. I
used to get really frustrated with him and how much time he put into it,
but I am starting to understand the stress level that he is under at work
and his need to just be really far away from that world and recoop. He just
wants me there in the recouping process which is nice.
On Mon, Sep 17, 2018 at 4:19 PM Elizabeth Lovelace <
dmarc-noreply@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Chris and I watch shows and movies together. And every four years, the
World Cup. :) At some point in our marriage, I realized that we can't be
everything to each other, which was a healthy realization. He has interests
that I'll never get into, as do I. And that's ok.
On Monday, September 17, 2018, 3:46:30 PM CDT, Carrie Hub <
carriehub060300@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:
So good, Renee! Thank you for sharing!
Kind of convicting about the football thing. Brian's loves are hunting
and fishing and working wood. Not stuff I am thrilled about. Looks like I
need to start learning though.
On Fri, Sep 14, 2018 at 3:23 PM James Brabson <thebrabsonfamily@xxxxxxxxx>
wrote:
Looking forward to listening to it. For me personally I know it is
something I am always working on.
On September 14, 2018, at 2:58 PM, Renee O'Leske <larsen.renee@xxxxxxxxx>
wrote:
I have to share. Been meditating a little on Titus and realizing my need
to grow in grace so I can love my husband and daughter well... and God
brought this good teaching across my path.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p0xbWkRaHqY&t=56s
I tend to agree with the "me" time, or finding yourself again, or whatever
you want to call it. It might be limited, but I do think it's healthy to
follow interests when we have time. I know it doesn't apply to everyone,
but for me it's also meant doing things with Alex that we both enjoy.
I have my photography and have started taking painting/art classes (same
teacher as Alex's Saturday art classes).
Even getting exercise could fall in the "me time" category. I think it
falls under taking time to rest, unwind, and relax. Sometimes it can be
reading a book, going for a walk, doing a hobby we enjoy, or getting
together with friends.
It can look different for everyone.
Speaking of this, my "me" time has greatly decreased suddenly. We decided
to pull Ivan out of school. There were behavioral issues last year, but we
were told it was worse this year. The school told us to find a shadow or he
couldn't go to school. While they were willing to help us find one and
adjust finances to make it happen, we also kept hearing from them that he
was frustrated a lot and unhappy. The lack of verbal communication is a
large source of frustration for him and the school, and he also is a very
strong, physical kid whose first impulse is to push and hit when unhappy
(add to this that the Montessori classroom has kids younger and older than
him all together, so there was the potential for him to seriously hurt
someone). By pulling him out we also have more time at home for speech
exercises, and more time to find him other therapies that could help. He
wouldn't start kindergarten for another two years, so we have some time...
Hoping and praying we can help him move forward here in Oaxaca. If not,
we'll have to figure out the next best option (could mean moving back to
the US.) [image: Emoji]
On Wednesday, September 26, 2018, 12:30:03 PM CDT, Carrie Hub <
carriehub060300@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:
I totally understand what you are saying about "loosing yourself" when you
have a kid. So much has to be shelved. It has been encouraging to me to see
other women who's children are older that are doing a myriad of things.
Recently, I have enjoyed watching the Lindsey's from Northland touring
Great Britain for their 50th anniversary. It reminds me that these days are
not all our days and helps me to pour into the kids what they need now.
Speaking of . . . have to go read.
On Wed, Sep 26, 2018 at 11:35 AM Pamela Smith <dmarc-noreply@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
wrote:
It has bothered me a little in the past that we have little in common
outside of faith/ministry and mutual children. He bikes long distances 4
times a week and loves it. He enjoys woodworking and can do electrical
work, and those both scare me. Recently I realized that I have given up a
lot that is "me" for motherhood and through being a supportive wife, and I
think I'm slowly getting that back. I don't know if that makes sense, but I
felt lost for awhile as a person. It's really important to have my identity
rooted in Christ and know that His plan isn't mine, but I need to rest in
it. But, also I need to be who God created me to be and not push aside
gifts and talents He's given, but use them for His glory.
I told Geoff about the session, and he agreed we didn't have much in
common, but it didn't really bother him. He said we're both crafty and if I
have an idea, then he does it, so we're a team. :)
What are your thoughts on "self-care?" I get the saying "we can't pour
from an empty vessel," but at times it feels as if its on the selfish side.
How do you all view that concept?
On Tuesday, September 25, 2018, 1:09:48 PM CDT, Renee O'Leske <
larsen.renee@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Thanks, Sister! :)
On Mon, Sep 24, 2018 at 4:14 PM Carrie Hub <carriehub060300@xxxxxxxxx>
wrote:
Renee, being a good wife and a good mom at the same time is tough! Both
pull so much and honestly need so much depending on the time period. It's
stretching trying to figure it all out. I have found that just admitting
that I'm trying and that I haven't forgotten has helped. :) And as the wee
ones get not so wee and you get to SLEEP again, it can get better. I think
it also helps to know what makes your spouse feel most loved so that you
spend your energy there and not on a lot of stuff that he doesn't care
about. I'm still working on this one. Trying to keep what he cares about on
the list and not shoved in the corner.
I don't think anyone ever fully "figures it out." We just keep persevering
together. Cheering each other on. Comforting and reminding when we blow it
to apologize and than get back out there and try again.
Keep up the good fight, sister!
Carrie
On Mon, Sep 24, 2018 at 9:24 AM Renee O'Leske <larsen.renee@xxxxxxxxx>
wrote:
Thank you all for sharing! Really appreciate it! I appreciate the
encouragement to rest in God and to learn how to love better. I need it.
:)
Liz, I agree with you. I have to rest in God being my everything. Craig
and I will not be all things to each other. We are different. Right now,
with having a little one, watching shows at night once she is down is our
together time. It's kinda fun & nice for this season. I am thankful for
this time we can enjoy together!
Carrie and Bonnie, thank you for sharing your personal thoughts in this
area of loving your husband well. I know there are times when my "list of
responsibilities" as a mother or wife can easily trump just being his
friend... and the same for Kayla. I can be so focused on all these things
I need to do to care for both of them (maybe because it is endless and I am
not the fastest person on the earth, so I am never really "caught up" with
all my work) that I don't pay attention to them in the moment - to listen
to them or just hang out with them and just love them and meet whatever
needs I can in that moment. Anyway, that's where I am at right now... I
appreciate what was said about it being a continual learning process. :)
Thanks, friends!
-Renee
On Thu, Sep 20, 2018 at 8:51 AM James Brabson <thebrabsonfamily@xxxxxxxxx>
wrote:
Pressed send by mistake. James also uses hunting to help deal with the
stress of being a pastor and, like you said Carrie, I can get frustrated
because things at the house "need" to get done and he is out hunting.
James is not a tv watcher, but we have started going to bed earlier and
watching a tv show. Finding something that he is interested in has been a
struggle though :).
Bonnie
On September 20, 2018, at 9:43 AM, James Brabson <
thebrabsonfamily@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Carrie,
I totally get what you are saying. James is big into outdoor stuff too and
sports. I am not! Even eating deer meet or turkey I don't like. I have
learned to cook the meat so the taste is not as strong. I have to be
careful that I show an interest in his hobbies. Like being excited when he
brings a deer or turkey home even though it grosses me out :).
On September 20, 2018, at 8:40 AM, Carrie Hub <carriehub060300@xxxxxxxxx>
wrote:
Definitely true, Liz.
I think this hit harder because Brian and I have gotten to the point that
we don't have much that we can afford to do that we like to do together,
and he keeps inviting me to be involved with him in his outdoor stuff. I
used to get really frustrated with him and how much time he put into it,
but I am starting to understand the stress level that he is under at work
and his need to just be really far away from that world and recoop. He just
wants me there in the recouping process which is nice.
On Mon, Sep 17, 2018 at 4:19 PM Elizabeth Lovelace <
dmarc-noreply@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Chris and I watch shows and movies together. And every four years, the
World Cup. :) At some point in our marriage, I realized that we can't be
everything to each other, which was a healthy realization. He has interests
that I'll never get into, as do I. And that's ok.
On Monday, September 17, 2018, 3:46:30 PM CDT, Carrie Hub <
carriehub060300@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:
So good, Renee! Thank you for sharing!
Kind of convicting about the football thing. Brian's loves are hunting and
fishing and working wood. Not stuff I am thrilled about. Looks like I need
to start learning though.
On Fri, Sep 14, 2018 at 3:23 PM James Brabson <thebrabsonfamily@xxxxxxxxx>
wrote:
Looking forward to listening to it. For me personally I know it is
something I am always working on.
On September 14, 2018, at 2:58 PM, Renee O'Leske <larsen.renee@xxxxxxxxx>
wrote:
I have to share. Been meditating a little on Titus and realizing my need
to grow in grace so I can love my husband and daughter well... and God
brought this good teaching across my path.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p0xbWkRaHqY&t=56s
