It has bothered me a little in the past that we have little in common outside
of faith/ministry and mutual children. He bikes long distances 4 times a week
and loves it. He enjoys woodworking and can do electrical work, and those both
scare me. Recently I realized that I have given up a lot that is "me" for
motherhood and through being a supportive wife, and I think I'm slowly getting
that back. I don't know if that makes sense, but I felt lost for awhile as a
person. It's really important to have my identity rooted in Christ and know
that His plan isn't mine, but I need to rest in it. But, also I need to be who
God created me to be and not push aside gifts and talents He's given, but use
them for His glory.
I told Geoff about the session, and he agreed we didn't have much in common,
but it didn't really bother him. He said we're both crafty and if I have an
idea, then he does it, so we're a team. :)
What are your thoughts on "self-care?" I get the saying "we can't pour from an
empty vessel," but at times it feels as if its on the selfish side. How do you
all view that concept?
On Tuesday, September 25, 2018, 1:09:48 PM CDT, Renee O'Leske
<larsen.renee@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Thanks, Sister! :)
On Mon, Sep 24, 2018 at 4:14 PM Carrie Hub <carriehub060300@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Renee, being a good wife and a good mom at the same time is tough! Both pull so
much and honestly need so much depending on the time period. It's stretching
trying to figure it all out. I have found that just admitting that I'm trying
and that I haven't forgotten has helped. :) And as the wee ones get not so wee
and you get to SLEEP again, it can get better. I think it also helps to know
what makes your spouse feel most loved so that you spend your energy there and
not on a lot of stuff that he doesn't care about. I'm still working on this
one. Trying to keep what he cares about on the list and not shoved in the
corner.
I don't think anyone ever fully "figures it out." We just keep persevering
together. Cheering each other on. Comforting and reminding when we blow it to
apologize and than get back out there and try again.
Keep up the good fight, sister!
Carrie
On Mon, Sep 24, 2018 at 9:24 AM Renee O'Leske <larsen.renee@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Thank you all for sharing! Really appreciate it! I appreciate the
encouragement to rest in God and to learn how to love better. I need it. :)
Liz, I agree with you. I have to rest in God being my everything. Craig and I
will not be all things to each other. We are different. Right now, with
having a little one, watching shows at night once she is down is our together
time. It's kinda fun & nice for this season. I am thankful for this time we
can enjoy together!
Carrie and Bonnie, thank you for sharing your personal thoughts in this area of
loving your husband well. I know there are times when my "list of
responsibilities" as a mother or wife can easily trump just being his friend...
and the same for Kayla. I can be so focused on all these things I need to do
to care for both of them (maybe because it is endless and I am not the fastest
person on the earth, so I am never really "caught up" with all my work) that I
don't pay attention to them in the moment - to listen to them or just hang out
with them and just love them and meet whatever needs I can in that moment.
Anyway, that's where I am at right now... I appreciate what was said about it
being a continual learning process. :)
Thanks, friends! -Renee
On Thu, Sep 20, 2018 at 8:51 AM James Brabson <thebrabsonfamily@xxxxxxxxx>
wrote:
Pressed send by mistake. James also uses hunting to help deal with the stress
of being a pastor and, like you said Carrie, I can get frustrated because
things at the house "need" to get done and he is out hunting. James is not a
tv watcher, but we have started going to bed earlier and watching a tv show.
Finding something that he is interested in has been a struggle though :).
Bonnie
On September 20, 2018, at 9:43 AM, James Brabson <thebrabsonfamily@xxxxxxxxx>
wrote:
Carrie,
I totally get what you are saying. James is big into outdoor stuff too and
sports. I am not! Even eating deer meet or turkey I don't like. I have learned
to cook the meat so the taste is not as strong. I have to be careful that I
show an interest in his hobbies. Like being excited when he brings a deer or
turkey home even though it grosses me out :).
On September 20, 2018, at 8:40 AM, Carrie Hub <carriehub060300@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Definitely true, Liz.
I think this hit harder because Brian and I have gotten to the point that we
don't have much that we can afford to do that we like to do together, and he
keeps inviting me to be involved with him in his outdoor stuff. I used to get
really frustrated with him and how much time he put into it, but I am starting
to understand the stress level that he is under at work and his need to just be
really far away from that world and recoop. He just wants me there in the
recouping process which is nice.
On Mon, Sep 17, 2018 at 4:19 PM Elizabeth Lovelace
<dmarc-noreply@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Chris and I watch shows and movies together. And every four years, the World
Cup. :) At some point in our marriage, I realized that we can't be everything
to each other, which was a healthy realization. He has interests that I'll
never get into, as do I. And that's ok.
On Monday, September 17, 2018, 3:46:30 PM CDT, Carrie Hub
<carriehub060300@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:
So good, Renee! Thank you for sharing!
Kind of convicting about the football thing. Brian's loves are hunting and
fishing and working wood. Not stuff I am thrilled about. Looks like I need to
start learning though.
On Fri, Sep 14, 2018 at 3:23 PM James Brabson <thebrabsonfamily@xxxxxxxxx>
wrote:
Looking forward to listening to it. For me personally I know it is something I
am always working on.
On September 14, 2018, at 2:58 PM, Renee O'Leske <larsen.renee@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:
I have to share. Been meditating a little on Titus and realizing my need to
grow in grace so I can love my husband and daughter well... and God brought
this good teaching across my path.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p0xbWkRaHqY&t=56s
