[THIN] Re: OT: Wednesday humor -- Management Training
- From: Tom Howarth <tom.howarth@xxxxxxxxx>
- To: thin@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Wed, 15 Jun 2005 14:51:07 +0100
Now that is a good one,
On 15/06/05, Henske, Jennifer <Jennifer.Henske@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
> On oldie but a goodie....
>
> MAJOR U.S. RESEARCH UNIVERSITY DISCOVERS NEW ELEMENT!!
> The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by
> investigators at a major U.S. research university. The element,
> tentatively named Administratium, has no protons or electrons and thus
> has an atomic number of 0. However, it does have 1 neutron, 125
> assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons, and 111 assistant vice neutrons.
> This gives it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held
> together by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like
> particles called morons. It is also surrounded by vast quantities of
> lepton-like particles called peons.
>
> Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert. However, it can be
> detected chemically as it impedes every reaction it comes in contact
> with. According to the discoverers, a minute amount of Administratium
> causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would
> have normally occurred in less than one second. Administratium has a
> normal half-life of approximately three years, at which time it does not
> decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which assistant
> neutrons, vice neutrons, and assistant vice neutrons exchange places.
>
> Some studies have shown that the atomic mass actually increases over
> time, since with each reorganization some of the morons become neutrons.
> This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to
> speculate that perhaps Administratium is spontaneously formed whenever
> morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. The hypothetical
> quantity is referred to as "critical morass".
>
> Research at other laboratories indicates that Administratium occurs
> naturally in the atmosphere. It tends to concentrate at certain points
> such as government agencies, large corporations, and universities. If
> can usually be found in the newest, best appointed, and best maintained
> buildings.
>
> Scientists point out that Administratium is known to be toxic at any
> level of concentration and can easily destroy any productive reaction
> where it is allowed to accumulate. Attempts are being made to determine
> how Administratium can be controlled to prevent irreversible damage, but
> results to date are not promising.
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Tom Howarth [mailto:tom.howarth@xxxxxxxxx]
> Sent: Wednesday, June 15, 2005 8:03 AM
> To: thin@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
> Subject: [THIN] Re: OT: Wednesday humor -- Management Training
>
> If it is bad management joke day, have this Dilertesque one
>
> A man in a hot air balloon realised he was lost. He reduced altitude and
> spotted a man below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me,
> can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him half an hour ago,
> but I don't know where I am."
> The man below replied, "You are in a hot air balloon hovering
> approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 42
> degrees north latitude and between 58 and 60 degrees west longitude."
> "You must be an engineer," said the balloonist.
> "I am," replied the man, "but how did you know?"
> "Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically
> correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the
> fact is I am still lost."
> The man below responded, "You must be a manager."
> "I am," replied the balloonist, "how did you know?"
> "Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are
> going.
> You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me
> to solve your problem. The fact is you are exactly in the same position
> you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault."
>
> On 15/06/05, Paul Stansel <Paul.Stansel@xxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
> > Boooo hissss!
> >
> > My favorite:
> >
> > The Lone Ranger and Tonto just crossed Death Valley. They're hot,
> > they're tired, and they both want a beer. So they hitch Silver up
> > outside the saloon and walk inside to have a drink.
> >
> > After a couple minutes a man walks in and says "Who owns that silver
> > horse out there?"
> >
> > The Lone Ranger says, "I do, why?
> >
> > The man says, "That horse looks like it's about to have heat stroke.
> > You'd better cool it off."
> >
> > The Lone Ranger looks at Tonto and says, "Tonto, be a sport and go
> > cool Silver off. Try running in circles to create a breeze or
> > something while I finish my beer." Tonto gives the Lone Ranger a
> dirty look, then goes outside.
> >
> > A few more minutes go by, and another man walks in and asks, "Hey, who
>
> > owns that silver horse out there?"
> >
> > The Lone Ranger looks up from his second beer and says, "I do, why?"
> >
> > The guy says, "I think you left your Injun running."
> >
> > Ba dump bump!
> >
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: Tim Mangan [mailto:tmangan@xxxxxxxxxxxx]
> > Sent: Wednesday, June 15, 2005 8:39 AM
> > To: thin@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
> > Subject: [THIN] OT: Wednesday humor -- Management Training
> >
> > An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand pulling a male
>
> > buffalo with the other and says to the waiter, "Want coffee."
> >
> > The waiter says, "Sure chief, coming right up."
> >
> > He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee. After drinking the coffee
> > down in one gulp, the Indian turns and blasts the buffalo with the
> > shotgun, then just walks out.
> >
> > The next morning the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand
> > pulling another male buffalo with the other. He walks up to the
> > counter and says to the waiter, "Want coffee."
> >
> > The waiter says, "Whoa, there! We're still cleaning up your mess
> > from yesterday. What the heck was all that about, anyway?"
> >
> > The Indian smiles and proudly says, "Training for upper management
> position.
> > Come in, drink coffee, shoot the bull, leave mess for others to clean
> > up, disappear for rest of day."
> >
> > Author Unknown
> >
> > Timothy Mangan
> >
> > Founder, TMurgent Technologies
> >
> > tmangan@xxxxxxxxxxxx (+1) 781.492.0403
> >
> >
>
> --
> Tom at home
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--
Tom at home
********************************************************
This Weeks Sponsor: eg Innovations, Inc.
Enabling Proactive Infrastructure Triage eG Innovations, Inc. is the leading
provider of real-time monitoring and proactive triage solutions
for IT Infrastructures.
http://www.eginnovations.com/egcitrix.htm
**********************************************************
Useful Thin Client Computing Links are available at:
http://thin.net/links.cfm
ThinWiki community - Excellent SBC Search Capabilities!
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