[THIN] Re: OT: Wednesday Humor
- From: "Chris Lynch" <lynch00@xxxxxxx>
- To: <thin@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Wed, 26 Mar 2003 09:19:57 -0800
=20
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Absolutely hilarious!!!!!
- -----Original Message-----
From: thin-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx [mailto:thin-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx] On =
Behalf Of Jim Kenzig
Sent: Wednesday, March 26, 2003 6:28 AM
To: thin@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [THIN] OT: Wednesday Humor
McDonnell Douglas Warranty Card Info.
This was allegedly posted very briefly on the McDonnell Douglas Website =
by an employee there, who obviously has a sense of humor.
The company, of course, does not have a sense of humor, and made the web =
department take it down immediately (for once, the 'IMPORTANT' note at =
the end is worth a read too)!
- ------------------------------------------------------------------
Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order =
to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out =
the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is =
not required, but the information will help us to develop new products =
that best meet your needs and desires.
1.) [_] Mr.
[_] Mrs.
[_] Ms.
[_] Miss
[_] Lt.
[_] Gen.
[_] Comrade
[_] Classified
[_] Other
First Name:
............................................
Middle Initial:
............................................
Last Name:
............................................
Password:
........................................... (max. 8 char)
Code Name:
...........................................
Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ...........................................
2.) Which model of aircraft did you purchase?
[_] F-14 Tomcat
[_] F-15 Eagle
[_] F-16 Falcon
[_] F-117A Stealth
[_] Classified
3.) Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day):
......../......./......
4.) Serial Number:
........................................
5.) Please indicate where this product was purchased:
[_] Received as gift / aid package
[_] Catalogue / showroom
[_] Independent arms broker
[_] Mail order
[_] Discount store
[_] Government surplus
[_] Classified
6.) Please indicate how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas =
product you have just purchased: [_] Heard loud noise, looked up [_] =
Store display [_] Espionage [_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally =
[_] Political lobbying by manufacturer [_] Was attacked by one
7.) Please indicate the three (3) factors that most influenced your =
decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product: [_] Style / =
appearance [_] Speed / maneuverability [_] Price / value [_] Comfort / =
convenience [_] Kickback / bribe [_] Recommended by salesperson [_] =
McDonnell Douglas reputation [_] Advanced Weapons Systems [_] Back room =
politics [_] Negative experience opposing one in combat
8.) Please indicate the location(s) where this product will be used: [_] =
North America [_] Iraq [_] Iraq [_] Aircraft carrier [_] Iraq [_] Europe =
[_] Iraq [_] Middle East (not Iraq) [_] Iraq [_] Africa [_] Iraq [_] =
Asia / Far East [_] Iraq [_] Misc. Third World countries [_] Iraq [_] =
Classified [_] Iraq
9.) Please indicate the products that you currently own or intend to =
purchase in the near future: [_] Color TV [_] VCR [_] ICBM [_] Killer =
Satellite [_] CD Player [_] Air-to-Air Missiles [_] Space Shuttle [_] =
Home Computer [_] Nuclear Weapon
10.) How would you describe yourself or your organization? (Indicate all =
that apply:) [_] Communist / Socialist [_] Terrorist [_] Crazed [_] =
Neutral [_] Democratic [_] Dictatorship [_] Corrupt [_] Primitive / =
Tribal
11.) How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
[_] Deficit spending
[_] Cash
[_] Suitcases of cocaine
[_] Oil revenues
[_] Personal check
[_] Credit card
[_] Ransom money
[_] Traveler's check
12.) Your occupation:
[_] Homemaker
[_] Sales / marketing
[_] Revolutionary
[_] Clerical
[_] Mercenary
[_] Tyrant
[_] Middle management
[_] Eccentric billionaire
[_] Defense Minister / General
[_] Retired
[_] Student
13.) To help us better understand our customers, please indicate the =
interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy =
participating on a regular basis: [_] Golf [_] Boating / sailing [_] =
Sabotage [_] Running / jogging [_] Propaganda / misinformation [_] =
Destabilization / overthrow [_] Default on loans [_] Gardening [_] =
Crafts [_] Black market / smuggling [_] Collectibles / collections [_] =
Watching sports on TV [_] Wines [_] Interrogation / torture [_] =
Household pets [_] Crushing rebellions [_] Espionage / reconnaissance =
[_] Fashion clothing [_] Border disputes [_] Mutually Assured =
Destruction
Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your =
answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas =
serve you better in the future -- as well as, allowing you to receive =
mailings and special offers from other companies, governments, extremist =
groups, and mysterious consortia. As a bonus for responding to this =
survey, you will be registered to win a brand new F-117A in our Desert =
Thunder Sweepstakes!
Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes?
Please write to: McDonnell DOUGLAS CORPORATION
Marketing Department, Military Aerospace Division
IMPORTANT:
This email is intended for the use of the individual addressee(s) named =
above and may contain information that is confidential privileged or =
unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense =
of humor, or irrational religious beliefs. If you are not the intended =
recipient, any dissemination, distribution or copying of this email is =
not authorized (either explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes an =
irritating social faux pas. Unless the word absquatulation has been =
used, in its correct context somewhere other than in this warning, it =
does not have any legal or grammatical use and may be ignored. No =
animals were harmed in the transmission of this email, although the pit =
bull next door is living on borrowed time, let me tell you.
Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will be gratified =
to learn that there is no hidden message revealed by reading this =
warning backwards, so just ignore that Alert Notice from Microsoft. =
However, by pouring a complete circle of salt around yourself and your =
computer you can ensure that no harm befalls you and your pets.
If you have received this email in error, please add some nutmeg and egg =
whites, whisk, then place in a warm oven for 40 minutes.
Sure, you can TRUST the Government. Ask any Indian.
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