[thebigjewel] Urgent Memo To All Employees!!! - January 1, 2003

  • From: "The Big Jewel" <list@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • To: thebigjewel@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • Date: Wed, 1 Jan 2003 10:09:21 -0700 (MST)

* Big Jewel regular Neil Pasricha tugs at your heart strings this week 
with an affectionate, sentimental look at s subject you can't help but 
love: corporate efficiency. So stop wasting company time and read it NOW! 


Urgent Memo To All Employees!!!
By Neil Pasricha

To: All Employees, Bolt & Westinghouse 

Greetings workers, 

Last month Bolt & Westinghouse hired Tim Egan, a renowned company 
efficiency expert from Q Inc., to evaluate our business and recommend us 
some efficiency tips. Last night in our monthly executive meeting Tim 
presented the results of his analysis, which included ten time-saving tips 
for improving the work efficiency at Bolt & Westinghouse. We have decided 
to fully implement all ten of these tips TODAY. We have no time to waste, 
friends. After reading this email, please print it out and read it again. 
After you are done, please read it again. After you are done, please read 
it once more, tear it into shreds, and then swallow it. Welcome! We are a 
new, revitalized company today! The following changes take effect in 
twenty minutes: 

Change 1 
To save the time of writing out "Bolt & Westinghouse" or saying "Bolt & 
Westinghouse" the name Bolt & Westinghouse is changed to simply B. This is 
the last time you will ever hear the name Bolt & Westinghouse: Bolt & 

For the last nine changes please visit:

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