[thebigjewel] The Death Of Irony - May 21, 2003

  • From: "The Big Jewel" <list@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • To: <thebigjewel@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • Date: Wed, 21 May 2003 10:47:16 -0600 (MDT)

* Join us in a rousing cheer for the debut of Benjamin C. Thornton at
The Big Jewel! Thrill to his very first article! Gaze in stupefied
amazement at his ironic use of irony! And thanks for giving The Big
Jewel your undivided attention!

The Death of Irony
By Benjamin C. Thornton

The body of Michael Robert Irony was discovered yesterday morning in
a deep ditch near the intersection of Main and Fate Streets, bringing
an end to the massive search and rescue effort that had taken place
over the last 36 hours. Investigators believe that Irony was struck by an
ambulance while jogging.

A preliminary report released by the county medical examiner
suggests that Irony survived the initial accident for perhaps as long as
a full day while officials and volunteers scoured the area where his
remains were eventually discovered. The tracks of one bloodhound
used in the search were discovered to have led to within six feet of the
body before veering off, apparently in pursuit of a passing squirrel.

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