* Join us in a rousing cheer for the debut of Benjamin C. Thornton at The Big Jewel! Thrill to his very first article! Gaze in stupefied amazement at his ironic use of irony! And thanks for giving The Big Jewel your undivided attention! The Death of Irony By Benjamin C. Thornton The body of Michael Robert Irony was discovered yesterday morning in a deep ditch near the intersection of Main and Fate Streets, bringing an end to the massive search and rescue effort that had taken place over the last 36 hours. Investigators believe that Irony was struck by an ambulance while jogging. A preliminary report released by the county medical examiner suggests that Irony survived the initial accident for perhaps as long as a full day while officials and volunteers scoured the area where his remains were eventually discovered. The tracks of one bloodhound used in the search were discovered to have led to within six feet of the body before veering off, apparently in pursuit of a passing squirrel. Click here for the full article: http://www.thebigjewel.com/thedeathofirony/