* Man in good standing Kurt Luchs returns this week with Songs Of The Renaissance, which may or may not be about a dusty collection of old rap hits Kurt found hidden behind some old Monet paintings in his garage. Songs Of The Renaissance By Kurt Luchs The recently revealed Da Vinci notebooks have yielded a wealth of information about life in Renaissance Italy. The Da Vinci in question, of course, is not Leonardo but Ricco, the "Amorous Plumber of Rome," who discovered the cold shower and other milestones in personal hygiene. While most of Ricco's notebooks contain nothing more than girl's addresses and sketches saying "Kilroy Was Here," there are some surprises. He was an avid collector of folk songs and ballads, and filled many pages with lyrics from the popular tunes of his day. Usually they were brief (but not brief enough) and told some sort of story (stop me if you've already heard it). Even now, they sound like hits. The Cheese-Seller's Lament An old cheese-seller limps down a street in Naples crying, "My cheese is good (gouda), will no one buy it? Unhappy am I, for my boots are full of provolone, and there is no room for my tired feet. My cheese is soft to the touch, like a baby's brow, and many fine molds grow quietly upon it. Oh, who will purchase the cow's treasure?" He continues this way for several hours, until he slips on something and cracks his skull on a lamppost. For the full article please visit http://www.thebigjewel.com Thanks for reading, and see you next week. -- To subscribe/unsubscribe from The Big Jewel's Hilarious Weekly Email please record yourself on a Maxell HD-90 audio tape singing a Glass Tiger song of your choice and mail it to us with your request.