* Ernst Albrecht spins a fine tale this week on The Big Jewel. We hope the beginning of your Spring was a little less eventful than this. Thanks for reading and have a great week. One Spring Day By Ernst Albrecht I was floundering in the wake of an apocalyptic bender last Tuesday morning when the intolerable mewlings of my dog, King Midas, awakened me. Due to an oversight on my part, he'd been locked out of the house for several weeks and was desperate to get back in. I touched a match to the pilot light in my head and groped my way to the front door, pausing only once for an unpleasant but very necessary side trip to the washroom. I was going to throw a paperweight at the dog, but when I opened the door my senses left me. Midas held in his mouth the limp body of a tiny old man. He was bluish white, with a hopelessly bald head and a long, jaggedly trimmed white beard. His eyes were a bottomless black with undulating swirls of iridescent color floating across their surface. They were the eyes of a gnome -- that rare breed of diminutive hobos who sleep in abandoned cars and subsist entirely on peyote buttons. He was dressed in a snappy purple suit with silver trim. He wore a wide, diamond-encrusted belt from which hung a beautifully wrought silver dagger of Sumerian or possibly Bolivian design. To find out the fate of the tiny old man please visit: http://www.thebigjewel.com/onespringday/ --- To subscribe/unsubscribe from The Big Jewel please Check The O.R. If you like it so far, drop us a line at list@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx with your request.