[thebigjewel] Of Love - February 12, 2003

  • From: "The Big Jewel" <list@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • To: <thebigjewel@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • Date: Wed, 12 Feb 2003 07:14:14 -0700 (MST)

* This week in honor of Valentine's Day we bring you a slice of Francis
Bacon, the great English essayist whose work you may have read at gunpoint
in school. When he wasn't busy taking bribes or writing Shakespeare's
plays, Bacon took the time to jot down a few choice observations about the
human heart.


Of Love
By Kurt Luchs

The following essay is excerpted from "50 Card Tricks You Can Do from
Beyond the Grave, or Lost Writings of Francis Bacon." A maelstrom of
controversy has surrounded the recently published manuscript, which was
claimed to have been discovered by a Chicago butcher, Charles Gorgopopolis,
within the entrails of a slaughtered pig.

Since Bacon died in 1626, that would make the pig over 375 years old, and
there are other hints that the book may be apocryphal. In several of the
essays the English philosopher refers to his readers as "youse guys"
or "regular Joes," and he makes frequent mention of the Sears Tower and
microwave ovens. Although the ink was still wet when he brought the pages
to the publisher, Gorgopopolis swore they were written by Bacon, or Bacon?s
wife, or at the very least Shakespeare, or possibly Shakespeare?s wife --
but definitely someone wearing a goatee.

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