[thebigjewel] Nice Surprise Endings - December 11, 2002

  • From: "The Big Jewel" <list@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • To: thebigjewel@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • Date: Wed, 11 Dec 2002 06:36:52 -0700 (MST)

* Big Jewel stalwart David Jaggard tells us all the previously unpublished 
epilogues to some literary classics. And if you don't remember the original 
endings to these literary classics, don't worry! David meticulously types 
out each and every one of them!

* Also, The Big Jewel will keep on publishing right through the holidays -- 
we work over Christmas so you don't have to. Thanks for reading, and have a 
great week. 

Nice Surprise Endings:
Epilogues To Familiar Literary Classics
By David Jaggard

Incident at Owl Creek Bridge

by Ambrose Bierce

...As he is about to clasp her he feels a stunning blow upon the back of 
the neck; a blinding white light blazes all about him with a sound like the 
shock of a cannon -- then all is darkness and silence! Peyton Farquhar was 
dead; his body, with a broken neck, swung gently from side to side beneath 
the timbers of the Owl Creek bridge. 

- - - Epilogue - - -
"For crying out loud Peyton, wake up and quit moaning!" his wife 
shouted. "You're probably having that damn war flashback nightmare again!" 

"Woah!" Farquhar exclaimed. "It was so vivid!" 

"It was 'vivid' three times last month!" his wife snapped. "Look -- they 
didn't hang you, all right? The rope broke, you escaped, I hid you in the 
cellar for the rest of the war and now here we both are, safe and sound. 
For heaven's sake, that was almost forty years ago -- think you'd get over 
it by now. Now shut the hell up and go back to sleep." 

"Why'd I ever marry the old sow?" Peyton muttered to himself as he rolled 
over. "But that dream! What a shock!" 

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