Welcome to The Big Jewel, where we are -- in the words of poet Ted Kooser -- "not coming to be barked at." The following piece by Greg Boose is pure poetry: My Dog Custody Proposals By Greg Boose My friends David and Natalie are getting divorced and they have two beautiful and well-trained dogs. Because they don't know how to separate the dogs or decide who should get them, I've come up with several proposals for who should retain custody: 1. David and Natalie should both procure experienced family law attorneys. After a series of meetings, the friend who was deemed the primary caregiver of the dogs throughout the duration of the marriage should retain custody of the dogs. If the process is too painful, then I could take the dogs off of their hands because they're so much fun and know a lot of tricks... For the full article please visit http://www.thebigjewel.com To unsubscribe from The Big Jewel's Hilarious Weekly Email please send an email with the word UNSUBSCRIBE in the subject line to neilpasricha@xxxxxxxxx