[thebigjewel] I, Darius, Dropped A Nut Here - November 6, 2002

  • From: "The Big Jewel" <list@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • To: thebigjewel@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • Date: Wed, 6 Nov 2002 04:40:19 -0700 (MST)

* Big Jewel veteran Ernst Albrecht is back in the game with this latest 
work. Give 'er a read, and then check out www.thetrailertrash.com, a new 
humor Web site by Big Jewel writer J. Pinkerton. Have a great week, and 
thanks for reading!

I, Darius, Dropped A Nut Here
By Ernst Albrecht

Much has been made of Columbus? first voyage across the Atlantic. Yet 
Christopher Columbus was not the first greaseball from the Old World to 
drop socks in the New. Also, there?s the little known matter of cannibalism 
aboard his ships, which has never been adequately addressed. The code of 
silence was breached only once by Vasco de Sectomy, ship?s cook, nicknamed 
the Crisco Kid, who wrote that the several crewmen he prepared were beyond 
help and tasted like old laying hens. His request for a junior officer was 
rebuked. However, his recipe for ?long pig? remains closely guarded under 
lock and key in the Library of Seville. No one except Pope Kasmir the 
Omnivorous has seen it, though a very determined Betty Crocker was turned 
away in tears several years ago. 

But truly, at this point I?d rather cut my own heart out with a broken 
bottle than breathe one more word about Columbus. 

For the full article please visit: http://www.thebigjewel.com/idarius/

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  • » [thebigjewel] I, Darius, Dropped A Nut Here - November 6, 2002