[thebigjewel] How to Get Out of Trouble with Your Mom - May 31, 2006

  • From: "The Big Jewel" <list@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • To: <thebigjewel@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • Date: Wed, 31 May 2006 20:42:49 -0600 (MDT)

Welcome to The Big Jewel, where the cinematic oeuvre of Keanu Reeves is
afforded almost as much respect as that of Patrick Swayze. And what if the
two celluloid titans should meet? Hey, it's already happened, dude! This
week Eric Feezell returns with a tale so full of practical value and
cosmic significance that we can only say a hearty, "Whoa!"

How to Get Out of Trouble with Your Mom Using Nothing but Lines from
"Point Break"

By Eric Feezell

Ernie Loomis, a junior in high school, has just been released from jail
after having been arrested for driving under the influence of drugs and
alcohol. His mother, who just paid bail to secure his release, launches
into him as soon as they get to the parking lot. She is livid, ready to
lay down the law. But Ernie has an unspeakable advantage, as he has seen
"Point Break" over seventy times.

MOM: Damn it, Ernie! I can't believe you would be so stupid as to drink
and drive! Don't you know you could have gotten yourself killed?!

ERNIE: If you want the ultimate, you've got to be willing to pay the
ultimate price. It's not tragic to die doing what you love...

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  • » [thebigjewel] How to Get Out of Trouble with Your Mom - May 31, 2006