[thebigjewel] Diary Of A Psychotic Cat - February 8, 2006

  • From: "The Big Jewel" <list@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • To: <thebigjewel@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • Date: Sat, 11 Feb 2006 19:35:12 -0700 (MST)

We hate to contradict Samuel Johnson, but patriotism is not the last
refuge of a scoundrel. The Big Jewel is the last refuge of a scoundrel,
and we welcome you to it. This week the scoundrel is our own Justin
Warner, who casts aspersions on the noble race of felines:

"Diary Of A Psychotic Cat"

By Justin Warner

(For Maggie, wherever she may be)

November 22: An otherwise fine morning was marred by a third consecutive
breakfast of Fancy Feast Hearty Chicken n' Liver, though I have clearly
demonstrated my preference for the Tasty Tuna variety. After washing down
the repast with a saucer of vaguely acidic half-and-half, I registered my
displeasure to the She-Keeper with a swift warning bite to the ankle: two
superficial punctures, nothing more, out of respect for her flexibility in
accommodating recent changes to my weekday feeding schedule...

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